It’s been a minute, but I’m back with a long-overdue Back to Center update.
One of the best things I’ve discovered this year thus far is the song “Go Lay Down” by NaJe.
Lemme tell you something. This song is a testimony that stirs my spirit. This song is also a reminder that self-care doesn’t always been to be about material things. Sometimes, all you need to do is rest.
There was a time where I thought I was going to be the exception. I was going to be the one that inspired them to change their ways. I wasn’t going to put up with the BS like the others before me.
I was special.
I wasn’t the exception. I didn’t inspire them to change their ways. I put with their BS (for a short amount of time, but I digress). During this experience, I was reminded of two lessons:
People have to want to change for themselves.
People really do show you who they are.
Oftentimes, we tend to ignore what’s in front of us because it interrupts the potential we see in the person. In addition, when someone shows you who they are and you continue to engage with them, how can you then ask them to change? They didn’t need to change when you met them right?
2020 was a hot mess express. We witnessed the cleaning/paper product version of The Hunger Games, being at home more than usual, and becoming (un)comfortable with wearing masks. Oh, and there was figuring out how to keep ourselves entertained when outside wasn’t an option.
After a year of living in the Upside Down, I wanted to share a few thoughts. But before I start, I have some fantastic news to share with you:
Ya girl is fully vaccinated!! #PokedByPfizer
While living in the Upside Down, I’ve gained an appreciation for some things & learned a lil’ somethin’ somethin’ too. And since sharing is caring, here we go:
One of the highlights of the Upside Down was the release of this drink. It’s delicious, but it’s REALLY good with 2 pumps of simple syrup. It cuts out the blandness of the oat milk just enough to be a bit sweet & also brings out the brown sugar of the drink.
Buying houseplants lifted my spirits when we weren’t able to go many places. They also added pizazz to my home. Total win-win.
Being able to work from home is a true blessing. There’s nothing like wearing comfy loungewear and listening to audiobooks and podcasts in peace.
What I’ve Learned
Wear it now
Pre-2020, I had a few items that I rarely wore because either I was saving them for a certain occasion or, I didn’t have the right items to make an outfit. Nowadays, I don’t care. I’m wearing the sequin sneakers with the sweatpants.
Listen to myself
When my body wants to rest, I rest. When my intuition warns me, I pay attention. Fighting against myself doesn’t work. It just makes things worse.
Now that things are opening up, I’m looking forward to spending time outside…cautiously. What have you learned and/or appreciated from the pandemic? I’d love to hear about it.
Folks are drawn to chaos like moths to a damn flame. Drama and shenanigans join forces to create this overwhelming emotional wildfire that gets folks going. Tickles their fancies. They thrive off of it.
Chaotic people will drain you of your time and energy. They leave their issues on your doorstep expecting you to solve them. It’s exhausting. I remember telling people that I don’t want to hear about the same issues over and over again because they have no intention of resolving their issues.
Why? Resolving their issues would end the chaos that they love.
You know what else would end the chaos?
Disconnecting yourself from the chaos. This can be done in two ways:
Have a conversation with the chaotic person. Let them know that you want them in your life (assuming you want to keep them in your life), but you want NO parts of the madness they thrive off of.
Cut the person from your life. I’ve done this after I had the conversation and the person continued to bring their mess to my doorstep. I’m only going to tell you one time. If you do it again, it’s over.
Neither option is easy, but peace of mind is worth it.
For me, two (or more) individuals come together in a relationship while still having individual lives.
Very simple, right?
It should be, buuuutttt…a relationship can be made difficult when it doesn’t have to be. When communicating, everyone in the relationship should consider each other while communicating their wants, needs, and feelings. But when you’re concerned with you and only you, the relationship doesn’t have a fighting chance.
I call this the “I, I, I…Me, Me, Me” mentality. It’ll ruin a relationship before it has a fighting chance.
Relationships are about balance. Without that, you’re riding with a bad alignment. If you don’t get the alignment.
I’ve spent the last half of my 30s cultivating and maintaining my peace of mind. With all of the chaos happening around us (hello panorama, aka pandemic) I have a special appreciation for it.
Maintaining my peace of mind is simple.
So simple that when you find out what it is, you may roll your eyes at me.
Don’t believe me?
Here’s how I maintain my peace of mind:
I mind my business.
I don’t like having my peace disturbed, so if you leave your sh!t, chaos, etc. on my doorstep, I’ll have questions. those questions make your sh!t, chaos, etc. my business. And if you don’t want me to be involved, keep it away from me. Simple as that.