• The Recovering Pessimist | My 2021 Wrap Up | www.therecoveringpessimist.me | #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimist
    The Complexities of Life

    My 2021 Wrap Up


    I’m not sure if it’s the pandemic, global warming, or the audacity of people, but 2021 was on some bullshit. It was a hard year with good moments sprinkled throughout. Anyway, despite the chaos, I want to wrap up 2021 with some highlights and lessons I learned.

    • I refinanced my house for a much lower interest rate + monthly payment.
    • Won bitcoin and stock from CashApp.
    • Prioritized my mental health.
    • FINALLY found bareMinerals Gen Nude Matte Liquid Lipcolor in Scandal.
      • I’ve been trying to find this lipcolor for at least 2 years. Thank you, Ulta!
    • I applied and got accepted to WGU‘s B.S. Health Information Management program! I start on January 1, 2022. I need all the well wishes I can get, lol!
    • Ordered an outdoor sectional sofa set from Home Depot.
      • This may not seem major, but considering how quickly outdoor furniture has sold out the last 2 years, I’m very happy about this, lol!
    Lessons Learned

    Don’t overthink time management

    • I can get a lot done in 15-30 minutes than I can in an hour, where I can get sidetracked and end up wasting time.


    • Something I learned in therapy was to create and maintain boundaries to protect my peace. By no means was it easy, but it sure has changed my life for the better.
    • Also, you’d be surprised how people react when you tell them “No”. Quite interesting to say the least.

    Trust your intuition

    • Lemme tell you something, my intuition has saved my ass several times this year alone.
    • I can’t say this enough, when your intuition taps you on the shoulder, LISTEN TO IT! It won’t steer you wrong, I promise you.


    • Screw the hustle mentality. When I’m tired, I’m resting.
    • When I plan out my week, I make sure that at least one day out of the week is a rest day.

    Pour into those who pour into you

    • I’m forever grateful to my circle of friends and family. They’re very special to me. I love them to the moon and back.

    Cheers to the end of 2021 and welcome 2022. What are your 2021 highlights and lessons learned? I’d love to hear about them. If you want to check out my previous wrap-ups, click here.

    See you in 2022!


  • The Complexities of Life

    My 2020 Wrap Up

    I spent this year in emotional survival mode. We both know that this has been a hella chaotic year. Couldn’t get through a week without some sort of foolery and/or f*ckery taking place. We may not be able to control what’s happening around us, but we damn sure can control our peace of mind.



    I’m not going to drag this out any more than I have to. Here are my 2020 highlights and lessons learned. Enjoy! 



    • Found a landscaper I love!
      • For the 2 years I’ve been in my house, I’ve struggled with finding a landscaper whose fees aligned with the size of my lawn. 
    • Brought landscape lights I really wanted.


    • I gained clarity with my blogging goals.
      • I had the time to write, but I didn’t feel creative. I didn’t beat myself over it, I just continued to observe my surroundings, be present in conversations, and reminded myself that I’ll be creative again. 
      • My favorite thing I created this year was the #HomeWithJoy series. It started as an idea to share my home buying journey but blossomed into so many ideas. I look forward to creating more blog posts for this series in 2021.
    • I figured out a wind-down routine during the week that I like.
      • I downloaded a coloring app to help me relax after a stressful day at work. 
      • I go to bed when my body was ready for bed, not when I wanted to go to bed. I don’t know why I struggled when this is so simple to do, lol!


    Lesson Learned

    • Do what I can when I can.
      • Yes, I want to get everything done on my to-do list. But there are times when that won’t happen and it’s okay. Allowing myself grace is freeing. 
    • Don’t get swallowed by the cloud.
      • For me, anxiety and depression are a gloomy cloud. It’s so hard to climb out of the sadness and stress once I give in. Instead, I force myself to see something positive in each day. I’m proud of myself for being able to have fewer cloudy days. 
    • See people for who and what they are.
      • If you cut the grass, you can see the snakes. Nobody is worth you disturbing your peace over. 
    • Set boundaries and stand by them even when it hurts. 
      • Part of protecting my peace involved creating boundaries and sticking to them. Did it hurt some feelings? Sure. However, how someone feels about my boundaries is not my burden to carry. I have to do what’s best for me, not anyone else. 
    • Don’t settle
      • What’s the point in settling when I’m going to long for what I really want? If I practice patience, I’ll get what I want in time. 

    What brought you joy this year? What did you learn? 

    See ya in 2021,


  • The Complexities of Life

    My 2019 Wrap Up

    The Recovering Pessimist | My 2019 Wrap Up | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimist

    I started 2019 with a full list of goals to accomplish. As the year progressed, my priorities shifted from my list of goals to a focus on being productive with focusing on self-care. I’m proud of the things I accomplished. I’m also grateful for the lessons I learned in the midst of some hellacious storms. Below are the highlights and lessons learned in 2019:

    2019 Highlights 

    Got a raise

    Amazed and shocked. That’s all I can say.

    Got comfy at home

    Throughout the year, I made improvements at home to make things more comfortable. I brought a combination washer/dryer, which is fabulous! I replaced a noisy bathroom exhaust fan with a much quieter model. The hideous storage shed in the backyard got demolished. I also finished an outdoor storage space with drywall.

    Discovered couponing accounts on Instagram

    I love a great deal and I’ll wait months for something I want to go on sale before I buy it. Couponing accounts on Instagram have saved me so much money. Just remember to turn your notifications on:)

    I saw Hamilton!

    Ya’ll, when news broke that Hamilton was coming to Richmond, I was excited. The show is amazing!  If it comes to your area and you’re able to see it, go! You won’t regret it.

    2019 Lesson Learned

    Set boundaries…and stick to them

    Boundaries were a key part of my self-care this year. I had to finally acknowledge that I could no longer ignore the toxic people in my life. The hardest part of this process was separating the person from who they were in my life. I continue to struggle with that at times, but I remind myself why these boundaries exist, and I continue to follow through. By sticking to the boundaries I set, my stress/anxiety levels are manageable.

    This year was a great year. I’m grateful for all that I’ve done and learned. I’m happy to go into 2020 in a much better headspace. I hope 2020 will be a kickass year for you!

    Until next time,


  • The Recovering Pessimist: "My 2018 Wrap Up" | This year was one for the books. Check out the blog to see my highlights of 2018. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimist
    The Complexities of Life

    My 2018 Wrap Up

    What. A. Year.

    I accomplished things. Learned a lesson or two.

    I did some things. I didn’t do some things. I learned things. The following are the lessons and highlights of my 2018.

    I don’t need all of the time

    I’ve always struggled with time management. I’d do good with it for a bit and then I’d waste it. Rinse and repeat. I’m not sure what happened this year, but something finally clicked:

    I need to maximize the time I have.

    On weekdays after my full-time job, I have a good 2-3 hours of time to use wisely before I start to wind down for bed. I wasn’t always using this time to my advantage. In recent months, I made some adjustments.

    First, I switched up the design of the Wisdom Wednesday template for 2019. Instead of creating multiple templates for those blog posts, I’ve got one template for the entire year. I can’t begin to tell you how I excited I am to not have to spend time keeping up with all of that.

    Second, I write on the go. I started this blog post on the mobile WordPress app. I’m kinda ashamed that I haven’t used the WordPress app as much as I should. I can create the bones of blog posts while I’m waiting, on my lunch breaks, etc.

    [tweetshare tweet=”You don’t need to block off hours to do a 30-minute task. Tighten up.” username=””]

    Celebrate My Wins

    Sooo…I did some peak adulthood ish this summer by becoming a homeowner!!!! I’m just getting over the shock of it all. Things happened so fast that I didn’t really get a chance to celebrate this huge accomplishment. Thankfully, there’s no time limit on celebrating wins!

    I also embraced JOMO (Joy Of Missing Out). For as long as I could remember, I hated not being in the loop. It pained me to turn down an invite to dinner, an event, happy hour, etc. Now that I’m on the other end of my 30s, I love staying at home.

    [tweetshare tweet=”I’ve learned to stop and celebrate my wins before I move onto the next thing. Enjoy these moments.” username=””]

    Make space for the unexpected

    I LOVES me a routine! I have routines for weekdays and for weekends. While there’s a bit of flexibility built into my routines, I get irritated when my routines are thrown off.

    Throughout the year, I released the grip I had on my routines. I experienced so many things that were totally unexpected. Met some awesome people, had dope conversations, and even got a boost to my creativity. That’s a win-win I can get with.

    [tweetshare tweet=”Although my routine was thrown off throughout the year, the memories created as a result were well worth it. ” username=””]

    Be Kind to Myself

    When I don’t do what I feel I should be doing, I have a tendency to beat myself up. It could be a combination of forgetting, failure to plan accordingly, or plain ol’ fatigue. To make things worse, I feel bad for beating myself up about doing what I feel I should be doing. Good grief!

    After experiencing burnout several times during the year, I had enough of myself. I can’t continue to beat myself up for how I feel.

    [tweetshare tweet=”Being kind to myself is a daily practice. Some days I’ll do well and some days won’t be so good. That is okay. ” username=””]

    This concludes my 2018 wrap up. How was your year? I’d love to hear about it in the comments and/or social media.

    See ya in 2019!


  • The Complexities of Life

    My 2017 Wrap Up

    The Recovering Pessimist: My 2017 Wrap Up -- This has been one hell of a year, equal parts ups and downs. I wanted to share the lessons I learned from this roller coaster of a year. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimistWriting these annual write-ups is one of my favorite end-of-the-year blog tasks (see here and here for earlier posts). In the past, I’ve broken down the post into sections (personal/blog highlights, top blog posts of the year, etc).

    I wanted to switch things up for this year. The highlights and memories that I experienced this year were awesome. I also had some lows that would’ve broken me. All of that provided me with some valuable lessons that I wanted to share as my annual wrap up for 2017.


    Do what works for me.

    Comparison is one of those things that you can get wrapped up in and not realize that it’s happening. I would browse social media and find myself comparing where I was in various areas of my life in regards to others. I found myself looking up tips and signing up for all kinds of newsletters, none of which I needed. Instead of soaking up all of this information, I got overwhelmed.

    [tweetshare tweet=”It takes longer to get past overwhelm than it did to get overwhelmed.” username=”2n$28p1ijG!jkr6qAqbM5JM&XPcH%QfD:1:0″]

    To get past the overwhelm, I needed to get rid of the sources of the overwhelm. I unsubscribed from several newsletters and stopped searching for tips on things that I really didn’t need. I stuck to doing the things that worked for me and refrained from comparing myself to others. I won’t lie, it’s not always easy, but I feel so much better.


    Leave the past in the past.

    I have this thing where I get a case of the “what ifs” regarding people of my past. I go through the motions of wondering if things between us could be different. I would reach out, we’d reconnect, and things would be cool for months. Then, things would fall apart again and we would go back to being the past. This year, I didn’t reach out when I felt the urge. Progress.

    [tweetshare tweet=”No matter how many times I reach out to my past, sometimes the past needs to stay where it is.” username=”2n$28p1ijG!jkr6qAqbM5JM&XPcH%QfD:1:0″]


    Be flexible.

    I’m a stickler for a routine. When that routine is disrupted, I feel frazzled. I’ve turned down several opportunities because they interfered with my routine. I know how ridiculous that is, but when I decide that I’m doing something at a certain moment of the day, I don’t like to change the plans.

    However, I realized that this isn’t feasible.

    I have a routine and when that routine is disrupted, I feel frazzled. It would take days to get back on track. I learned to add some room in the routine so when it gets disrupted, I can pick up where I left off. That allows me to partake in the opportunities that pop up while still having my routine.


    “No” is not a means to an end.

    “No” is one of those things that can make or break you. When you want something so badly just to be told you can’t have it for whatever reason, it hurts real bad. Like when someone takes the last cupcake in the display case that you had your eye on in line. Yeah, that bad. I refused to become discouraged and instead allowed “no” to motivate me to find alternate means to get what I want.

    [tweetshare tweet=”The difference between ‘no’ and ‘yes’ is persistence. ” username=”irzY3n0P88iH(Ehn#F@pCiV3bViiRWon:1:1″]


    It’s been a hell of a year, FULL of ups and downs. But as the elders say, if you aren’t learning, you aren’t living.

    See ya in 2018!!!!









  • The Complexities of Life

    My 2016 Wrap Up

    The Recovering Pessimist: My 2016 Wrap Up -- This year has been a huge learning experience. I've made progress with this blog as well as my personal life and wanted to chronicle these moments. Enjoy! | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #optimisticpessimist #recoveringpessimistI love writing end of year wrap-up posts (see here for last year’s). It’s a way for me to chronicle all of my ups (and downs) from the year. It also reminds me of accomplishments I have forgotten. Last year’s wrap up post wasn’t as organized as I would like, so this year, I wanted to split the post into two sections: blog and personal life.




    Top 10 Blogs of 2016 (As of 12/10/2016)
    Lessons Learned
    • Getting wrapped up in everyone else’s success blocks my own potential success. Don’t get sucked into that matrix.
    • Everyone has their own journey, including me.
    • Make use of small nuggets of time. I can get more work done in 30 minutes than I can in 8 hours.



    • I won tickets to 2015 Richmond Jazz Festival. The bestie and I went on Sunday night, so we could experience the greatness that is Morris Day & the Time, Tamia, and The Roots. Yes, all of that in one day/night.
    • Saw Alabama Shakes and Corinne Bailey Rae in concert with the bestie at the Portsmouth Pavilion. Perfect weather for a soul-stirring outdoor concert.
    • Reconnected with old friends via Facebook.
    • Took more selfies of myself.
      • For the record, I didn’t post 90% of the selfies I took in 2016. These selfies were mostly for personal memories and documentation of my wellness journey.
    Lessons Learned
    • Be open to the unexpectedness of life. Oftentimes these curveballs aren’t as bad as I think they are.
    • Just because I can’t see it happening, doesn’t mean things aren’t working behind the scenes.
    • It’s okay to miss the past. However, remember why the past is the past.


    That’s 2016 for me in a nutshell. What were your highs (and lows) of 2016? Do you document them (blog post, journal, video, etc.)? I’d love to hear about it.

    Until next time,



  • The Complexities of Life

    How Writing About Self Taught Me About Myself

    Spending the last month writing about myself taught me quite a bit. To wrap up this month’s NaBloPoMo, I wanted to share a few things I’ve learned this month:

    1. There’s nothing wrong with being an introvert.
    2. Confidence is the key to success.
    3. Conformity isn’t a necessity.
    4. My thoughts/ideas are valid.
    5. Peace of mind is invaluable.

    So tell me, what have you learned about yourself lately? Let’s discuss in the comments!

  • The Recovering Pessimist | Consistency in 2021 | www.therecoveringpessimist.me | #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimist
    The Complexities of Life

    Consistency in 2021

    Happy New Year!

    Can we talk for a bit? I won’t keep you long. Feel free to pull up a chair. Snacks are optional.

    2020 was chaotic as hell. When I just didn’t feel like blogging, journaling, exercising, etc., I didn’t do it. Instead of pushing myself to get things done, I gave myself some much-needed grace. When I was brainstorming my 2021 theme, one word came to mind:


    I feel good when I’m working on my goals, hobbies, wellness on a regular basis. It gets no simpler than that. To make sure I’m consistent, I created some weekly goals to exercise and journal. I’m also posting new blog posts here every Monday (Wednesdays are for Wisdom Wednesday).

    It feels so good to get back to me!

    Do you have a theme for 2021? If yes, what is it? What inspired your theme?

    Until next time,


  • The Complexities of Life

    Believe in Your Greatness

    Recently on Twitter, someone shared a video of Jay Z doing a radio interview. Not only am I a fan of him as an artist, but I enjoy listening to him speak about life.  The wisdom that comes from him inspires me. Recently, on Twitter, someone retweeted the following video:


    In the video, he dropped a gem that I needed to hear.

    [bctt tweet=”Always believe you’re great even before anybody else believes it. – Jay Z ” username=”MsWalton”]

    I get in my own way.

    I overthink things.

    I get so wrapped up in planning that I never execute.

    I use everyone else’s experiences as my blueprint…and fail.

    I don’t tell myself how great I am.

    I shouldn’t rely on others to recognize my greatness. As long as you believe in your greatness, that’s all that matters.

    I needed this reminder from Hov.

    Thank you sir.

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