I’m a habitual planner. I don’t like surprises so I try to plan as much as possible. Usually, there’s nothing wrong with this.
The problem with constantly planning is that I never execute the plans. In my Evernote account, there are sooo many notes full of ideas that have never made it to the execution phase.
When I made my theme for 2015, I understood that I would have to actually do the things I had taken so much time to plan. They definitely aren’t going to execute themselves right? Take those ideas and/or plans to the execution phase and make it happen.
I have a tendency to see the beauty in things that aren’t traditionally viewed as beautiful. This is no different. After dealing with my personal shit storm, I’ve had some time to reflect on the outcome, which lead me to this:
Defeat is a motivator. After I processed the outcome of my latest shit storm, I was sad for about five minutes. Then I got REALLY pissed. I wrote about my feelings in my diary to clear my mind and focus on what mattered the most: my hopes, dreams, and goals.
Remember that losing isn’t always as bad as it seems. This is just a setback and setbacks are a part of life. Dust yourself off, give yourself a hug, and continue to hustle. Oh, and most importantly, NEVER lose sight of your hopes, dreams, and goals.
I’ve been dealing with a very stressful situation for a few months. Anxiety left my stomach in knots worrying about all the “what if” possibilities. Oh and sleeping? Practically non-existent.
When I’m in the middle of a shit storm, the Universe will always send me a sign that things aren’t as bad as you think they are. This time was no different.
One morning, my sister sent me a text consisting of two words:
While the text was short, those two words meant the world to me at that moment. Sometimes, we get so caught up in our shit we forget day turns to night. That text was a reminder for me to get out of my head, inhale deeply, and slowly exhale.
Repeat as needed.
On Season 4, Episode 10 of “Scandal“, Olivia (played by Kerry Washington) is in some unknown location after being kidnapped in the previous episode. Despite being held against her will, she still manages to attempt to “fix” the person that’s in the same cell that she is in. Later in the episode, she’s dreaming that Jake (played by Scott Foley) saves her when in reality, she realizes that despite being able to save others, she’s going to have to save herself if she wants to get away from her kidnappers.
As I watched the episode, I got inspired. Back in the day, I couldn’t stand to see the people in my life suffer. I would do whatever I could to save them (sometimes to my detriment) because that’s what I was taught.
But see, the problem with saving everyone else is that there’s no guarantee that somebody is going to be there to save you. I would reach out to people, including those I had previously saved, just to be let down. I don’t expect folks to come to my aid, however, when it’s the person who previously helped you asking for help, you need to help them. Pay it forward, you know?
My mother always says that you find out who people really are when you ask them for help. I didn’t understand what she meant until it happened to me. As usual, she was right. Yet another painful lesson I had to learn.
Allow me to set the scene. You’re out and about when s someone catches your eye. Nerves are brushed aside as the two of you have a brief conversation. Phone numbers (and possibly social media handles) are exchanged. Hours are spent texting, calling, emailing, and/or posting social media updates. You really, really like this person.
In theory, this sounds great. Seriously, who doesn’t want to find that person that tickles your fancy? I honestly can’t think of anyone that doesn’t. However, like some theories, there’s a problem with the execution. In this case, said problem began weeks ago.
The person that you’re attracted to is working towards accomplishing something (entrepreneur, college graduate, etc). But you don’t see them for the person they are now. Instead, you’re attracted to the person that they’re trying to become.
I’ve seen this problem happen too many times. People will get with folks for the end goal, whatever that may be. They’ll stay around provided that the person of interest becomes the person their working towards. In the even that said person of interest doesn’t become that person, suddenly he/she isn’t as attractive as they once were.
We’re all works in progress, every last one of us, including you. Solely seeing someone for their potential won’t end well, I promise you.