What I Love About Summer

The Recovering Pessimist: What I Love About Summer -- Hot weather and outdoor drinking are a few of my favorite things about summer. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimistToday (June 2o) is the first day of Summer Solstice 2016. Longer days from the Spring Equinox combined with warmer weather lead to all kinds of awesomeness.

In fact, as I’m writing this, we’ve experienced our first 90-degree day of the year here in #RVA.

I can’t put into words how elated I am about summer starting, so I’m going to drop this GIF:

 

Kelly Rowland / giphy.com

Kelly Rowland / giphy.com

Nailed it!

And without further adieu, here’s what I love about summer. Enjoy!

The Heat

My skin finally gets some sun exposure, allowing it to become a gorgeous shade of bronze. Dresses, skirts, rompers, tank tops, shorts, and sandals are my standard summer uniform. People watching becomes an outdoor event for me and my friends. We find a heavily populated area (usually the outdoor malls), grab a drink, snacks, and a comfy place to sit. Then we chit-chat and watch the people passing by. It’s inexpensive entertainment, trust me.

Outdoor Drinking

Drinking + outdoors = thank you! In Richmond, rooftop bars are all the rage at the moment. That’s cool because I intend on having several drinks on top of each one of these rooftops, soaking in the #RVA skyline. If you can’t get to the rooftops, there are also a lot of patios and breweries I can hang out at. Speaking of drinks, I have a lot of sangria recipes I’ve saved from Pinterest just itching to be made. Fruit + alcohol = win.

Food!!

It’s grilling season!!!! There’s something about grill marks on food that makes food taste 10 times better. I eat excessive amounts of watermelon and BBQ. Oh, and I get to attend (and occasionally crash) cookouts. Word to the wise: pay attention to how food is prepped for the grill. Just because it’s going on the grill doesn’t mean it you can skip out on seasoning. I don’t want to bite into ribs that are sauced to capacity and not seasoned. So disrespectful.

Summer Nights

There’s something about spending summer nights outside looking at the stars and watching fireflies light up the sky. I love to grab a good craft beer (or sweet wine) and enjoy the peaceful sounds of nature. Oh and don’t let it be raining at nighttime. Rain during the summer is very sexy. Think along the lines of “Summer Rain” by Carl Thomas.

Enough about my favorites. Let’s chat. If you had to plan your ideal summer day, what would you do? I’d love to read your ideas in the comments.

Until next time,

Jae

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Dating Non-Negotiables

The Recovering Pessimist: Dating Non-Negotiables -- Your time is too precious to be spending it on those who are not worthy. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimistDuring Season 12, Episode 23 of Grey’s Anatomy, Alex (Justin Chambers) proposed to his girlfriend Jo (Camilla Luddington). The episode ends and Jo hasn’t responded to Alex’s proposal. Fast forward to Episode 24. Alex asks Jo why she hasn’t answered him. Jo asks Alex is her being in love with him good enough because she isn’t going anywhere.

Frustrated, Alex proceeds to tell Jo that he wants a wife and children and if that’s not what she wants, they don’t need to be together. During Alex’s monologue, he said the following quote which then inspired this blog post:

My dating life is full of experiences, both good and bad. I’ve stayed in relationships longer than I should. Hell, I’ve gotten into relationships that I shouldn’t have gotten into. It took a long time for me to learn the lessons and now that I’m older, there are a lot of things that I’m unwilling to accept. I’m at a point in my life where I have non-negotiables and if those non-negotiables cannot be met, then I have no need for you.

Below are two of my dating non-negotiables that I refuse to bend on:

Say What You Mean & Mean What You Say

I have a zero tolerance policy for bullsh*t. I’ve been a sucker for believing someone’s promises. They usually started with “I swear”, “I promise”, “I bet”, and so on. Those phrases usually ended in disappointment because they failed to follow through. Never again. Nowadays, I pay more attention to what you aren’t saying. If you can’t back those words up, you can go.

Empire / giphy.com

Empire / giphy.com

 Don’t Settle

There are a few of my exes that I shouldn’t have dated. After repeating the pattern several times, I finally figured out the reason.

Me + Loneliness = Settling

My problem with loneliness was that in the past, I would be more focused on curing the loneliness versus finding someone who was worthy of my time & energy. I didn’t see that they weren’t financially/emotionally stable and/or monogamous. Why? My focus was skewed and I ignored the red flags that were waving in my path.

James Corden / giphy.com

James Corden/ giphy.com

Don’t ever settle because you’re lonely. In fact, don’t settle at all. You have standards and if you put those standards aside for even a hot second, you invite all kinds of red flags into your personal space. You can’t get that time and energy back.

Don't spend your precious time entertaining those who are unworthy. Click To Tweet

Having non-negotiables in place help you navigate through the madness of the dating world. You can dodge the scrubs and make way for what you truly want. No need to make dating harder than it already is, right?

Until next time,

Jae

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Patience, Grasshopper

The Recovering Pessimist: Patience, Grasshopper -- The Universe has a way of making the impatient, patient. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimistThe past week has been a reminder that the Universe has a way of making impatient people patient.

Allow me to explain.

For the past two years, I’ve been actively searching for a job that challenges me. I’ve applied for jobs that I knew I’d have at least get an interview for.

That didn’t happen.

Instead, I got those annoying “Thank you for applying but we don’t want you” emails.

 

Broad City Annoyed

Image via giphy.com

Still, I continued to search and apply. One job involved three (yes, three) interviews and I still didn’t get the job. Another job, got me an interview and a job offer. However, that job offer included a salary that wasn’t even close to my current salary (which I disclosed on my application). Despite feeling discouraged, I continued on.

I had an underlying feeling that the Universe was aware of something that I wasn’t privy to. Click To Tweet

I was right.

At my current job, there’s an opportunity to advance in your position. It involves a lengthy application, but if approved, the payoff is a raise in your salary. I completed the application and waited for two and a half months before I found out my application was approved.

I know it may come off a bit coincidental, but I don’t believe this is the case. What I wanted for myself wasn’t what the Universe had planned for me. Which is why I didn’t the jobs I applied/interviewed for. That didn’t stop me from trying.

I don’t want you to put your hopes, wants, desires, dreams, etc. on the shelf. Keep trying. If you experience a setback, allow that to fuel you. You’ve got this. You can do this. Remember why you started on this journey.

Patience, grasshopper.

Until next time,

Jae

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About That Burden

The Recovering Pessimist: About That Burden -- Don't unload the burden of your guilty conscious on me. I don't want it. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimistI make mistakes/bad decisions. You make mistakes/bad decisions. We make mistakes/bad decisions. That’s life. In theory, we make these mistakes/bad decisions, learn from them, and hope we are forgiven.

Emphasis on “in theory”.

In life, some mistakes/bad decisions are forgiven. Others cannot. And when I cannot forgive your mistakes/bad decisions, I have to let you go.

But there’s a bit of humor in letting people go. You cut them loose and 9 times out of 10 they know why you’re cutting them loose. Instead of being humble and considering it a lesson learned, they try to make YOU feel bad for cutting THEM loose.

They pick up right where things left off, acting like the mistake/bad decision never happened. Never missing a beat. Meanwhile, you’re over here, bewildered because you can’t believe that this (insert choice word here) had the gall to act like they did nothing wrong.

Image via giphy.com

Image via giphy.com

But why?

A lot of people just don’t want to deal with their shit. Merely acknowledging that they screwed up is too much. It’s easier to just transfer their burden to you instead of just dealing with their shit. And because they refuse to deal with it, the cycle continues to repeat itself.

Your guilty conscious is not my burden to bear. Click To Tweet

Until next time,

MsWalton

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