The Recovering Pessimist

Helping pessimists see the bright side of life without losing their "half empty" roots.

Wisdom Wednesday #154

Dec
07

The Recovering Pessimist: Wisdom Wednesday #154 -- When you think it can't get any worse, remember that it can. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimist

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Warmth #10WordStory

Dec
05

The Recovering Pessimist: Warmth #10WordStory -- This story can be taken several ways. It could be that she's physically and/or emotionally gone. Either way, his attempts to warm her physically and/or emotionally are futile. She's gone. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimist #10WordStory

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Wisdom Wednesday #153

Nov
30

The Recovering Pessimist: Wisdom Wednesday #153 -- Forgive yourself. Don't carry that guilt into your future. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimist

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I’m Thankful For It All

Nov
28

The Recovering Pessimist: I'm Thankful For It All -- This has been one hell of a year (good, bad, ugly, etc.). I'm thankful for everything I've experienced (and continue to experience) this year. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimistThis has been one hell of  a year.

There were more ups than downs.

The lessons I learned were painful.

I’m thankful for it all.

My spirit was tested.

My heart ached.

I let people go to let others in.

I’m thankful for it all.

I cried when I couldn’t handle anymore.

Laughed to keep my nerves at bay.

Screamed through the frustration.

I’m thankful for it all.

Each day was a new opportunity.

Tried to be not so hard on myself.

I made the best of it.

I’m thankful for it all.

 

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Wisdom Wednesday #152

Nov
23

The Recovering Pessimist: Wisdom Wednesday #152 -- Pay close attention to one's actions. They speak for them. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimist

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3 Thoughts While Watching #90DayFiance

Nov
21

The Recovering Pessimist: A Few Thoughts While Watching #90DayFiance -- While watching #90DayFiance I wondered if those who seek love abroad do so thinking that they won't have the issues that they have while dating in the States. The same issues come with love, regardless of where you are. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimist

 

One of my guilty pleasures is watching “90 Day Fiance” on TLC“. It’s a show about men and women in the U.S. who go through the process of obtaining a K-1 Visa, which gives them 90 days to marry their boyfriends/girlfriends who live overseas. Some of the couples are genuine, while others are marrying for reasons other than love. Which reminds of this quote:

Love is a beautiful delusion, regardless of where you live in the world. Click To Tweet

The participants on “90 Day Fiance” have the same issues as those of us who are stateside. These issues are the inspiration for this blog post. I want to discuss some of the issues that stuck out to me below. Enjoy!

Respect their culture

If you’re in a relationship with someone from another cultural background, take the initiative to learn about their culture. If you want to get to know him/her, learning their culture is a part of that. The internet is full of information. Use it and prosper.

A lie is a lie is a LIE

If you catch him/her in a lie, question it. Don’t twist their words to make yourself feel better. Don’t make excuses for them. And while you may want to know the truth, know this:

Once someone lies to you, everything they tell you will feel like a lie, including the truth itself. Click To Tweet

If you find yourself wondering if what they’re telling you is the truth, what’s the point in continuing the relationship?

If everyone else can see it, perhaps you need to see it too

This might be hard to believe, but everyone isn’t posted up in the corner rooting for you to fail. There are people who not only care about you, but they also want the best for you. Sometimes, what they want for you may not be what you want to hear. Past experiences have taught me to listen when these people speak.

 

And they say you can’t learn anything from reality television…

Until next time,

MsWalton

 

 

 

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Wisdom Wednesday #151

Nov
16

The Recovering Pessimist: Wisdom Wednesday #151 -- The simple things can bring so much happiness to one's life. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimist

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Back to Center: Update 6

Nov
14

The Recovering Pessimist: Back to Center Update 6 -- With this update I wanted to focus on how journaling has become part of my self-care routine. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimistI’m getting better with the timing of these Back to Center updates pats self on back. I’ve made mention of self-care (click here and here for earlier blog posts) in the past, but I wanted to devote this update to journaling.

I’ve always had a journal/diary of some sort. During my teenage years, I wrote to document the highs and lows of my life. I was never consistent in my journaling.  However, now that I’m older, I’ve learned that journaling is a key part of my self-care routine.

Bridget Jones/Giphy.com

Bridget Jones/Giphy.com

For example, I have times where I have too much going on in my head. I could be worried about something and that worry manifests into anxiety. Once anxiety has made its way in, a chain reaction occurs. I can’t concentrate and restful sleep goes M.I.A. I hate feeling that way, especially when I don’t have control over the situation that’s causing the anxiety.

So one day, I had the bright idea to dust off the journal I’ve been sporadically writing in and conducted a brain dump. Soon as the pen hit the paper and the syllables became words, the anxiety that had my stomach riddled with knots dissipated. I didn’t want the anxiety to come back to cripple me again. Writing in regularly would have to become my new normal. But again, consistency in my journaling wasn’t important to me.

This is where Google comes in for the win.

So, about two weeks ago, I got an email from Google telling me that the Google Calendar app I was using on my phone was out of date and that an update was available via Google Play. I updated the app and boy was I impressed.

The updated version of the app allowed me to set goals for various reasons, specifically “Me Time”. I went ahead and set a goal to practice journaling once a week for 15 minutes in the evening. In return, the app finds the requested time within my calendar to schedule the goal. For me, making journaling a goal AND having it scheduled in my calendar is a mind trick. If I have it scheduled in my calendar, I have to do it.

So far, adding journaling to my calendar is working. It feels good to keep the anxiety and stress away. Tell me, do you journal? Is journaling part of your self-care plan?

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Wisdom Wednesday #150

Nov
09

The Recovering Pessimist: Wisdom Wednesday #150 -- Be proud of yourself now. Don't wait until later. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimist

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Public Service Announcement: Beware of Strays!

Nov
07

I appreciate Fall for so many reasons (see here and here). It’s a reprieve from the outrageous heat of the Summer. I get to wrap this body in layers of warmth and eat all the soup/stew/chili recipes I have saved on Pinterest. However, it’s also the time of year where people seek potential companions to snuggle up with. Within the pool of potential companions are strays.

What is a stray?

A stray is a man or woman who has nothing but seeks someone who has what they don’t have. They provide little to nothing in return.  

Story time!

I took in a stray once. He had a full-time job, lived with his brother, and “circumstances” prevented him from owning a vehicle (feel free to read between the lines there). Did I mention that he had a set of twins plus another child that were only months apart in age (yes, you read that right)?

That’s a lot, but it wasn’t enough for me to walk away. Keep reading.

In the beginning, I didn’t mind doing the driving. I would pick him up from work and take him to either his brother’s place or mine.

When the newness of love wears off, you see people and things for who and what they truly are. Click To Tweet

In his case, it was his financial situation that tipped the scales for me. He tended to spend his money on wants, not needs. This particular evening I picked him up from work. He got in the car and didn’t say much most of the ride. After some prodding, he tells me that he lost his part of the rent money on a game he gambled on.

*rolls eyes*

I was livid for all the reasons. He then said that when he told his brother about the loss, his brother put him out. There’s this awkward silence in the car, that’s broken when he asked me if he could stay with me until he got himself together.

Claire Huxtable/Giphy.com

Claire Huxtable/Giphy.com

I told him I would think about it. I dropped him off at his mother’s and went home. Realizing that his situation was quickly becoming MY situation, I packed up the little belongings he had at my apartment and took them to his mother’s house later that night. I dropped that duffel bag on her front step with a note telling him that I didn’t want to continue our relationship and that he didn’t need to contact me…ever. That was almost a decade ago and so far, I haven’t heard from him.

I’m sharing this moment of my life because I want you to pay attention. Allow yourself to see what’s being presented to you in that moment and act accordingly. Falling for potential can get you wrapped up in some bullsh!t, trust me.

Until next time,

MsWalton

 

 

 

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