I’ve been brainstorming ideas for February’s theme. Last year, I wrote a series entitled #Love: A Musical Retrospective. This year, I didn’t want to do something as grand, but I wanted it to be just as personal.
So, I decided to write “Dear #Love” Letters. It’s comprised of five letters from myself to #Love covering a range of topics based on personal experience. It’s my way of healing old wounds and opening myself up to experiences that I have avoided.
I was with my first love from the ages of about 19 to 21-22ish. A mutual friend introduced us and the attraction between us was undeniable. School kept us 100+ miles apart, but technology kept us in touch.
We had met each other’s parents and close friends. I couldn’t go anywhere by myself without someone asking about him. We talked about our future together, which involved marriage and possibly children.
I was in love and it felt warm and tingly. I loved being affectionate towards him in public. Oh, and we were totally that couple that sat on the same side of the booth at restaurants. There were times where we finished each other’s sentences. Whew, I was in deep!
*insert heavy sigh here*
When you get comfortable with the person you’re dating, the real you begins to show. There were things about him that I didn’t like and I’m sure he felt the same way. We’re all flawed and besides, we loved each other and that’s what matters right?
Yeah…not so much.
Over time, the warm and tingly feeling went away. We argued. Looking back on it, my jealousy started a lot of the arguments. Cracks were forming in our relationship. We weren’t the happy couple that we were in the beginning. I was aware of that. What I didn’t realize was that he had emotionally checked out and checked in elsewhere.
I had dreams for us. He was my ONE, my heart, my love. Correction. I thought he was my ONE. I don’t regret the relationship because I was introduced to heartbreak and taught a very valuable lesson:
Forever isn’t guaranteed.
Until next time,
There are rules in life that are expected to be broken and there are rules in life that under no circumstances are to be broken. The biggest one being do not insert yourself where you aren’t wanted.
Did ya’ll catch that up there in the rafters?
I’ll repeat it.
People have a habit of inserting themselves where they aren’t wanted. Sometimes, they don’t realize they are doing it. But there are those who are habitual offenders and don’t care that you didn’t ask for their thoughts, opinions, ideas, and so on.
You get fed up with their antics and you may or may not be considering how to approach them. Just let your spirit speak for you. Stay with me on this. You need to meet the offender(s) in person. Turn to him/her, cock your head to the side, and with all the attitude you can muster say the following:
WHO ASKED YOU?!?!?!
Observe their reaction. If they react like hot grease from the stove popping them on the arm, your words got to them. Pat yourself on the back. It’s been my experience that some folk can definitely dish it, but cannot take it when it’s thrown back at them.
Welcome to clapback season. Don’t allow people to give you their two cents when you didn’t ask for it. Put your foot down and let them know you aren’t about to put up with their shenanigans.
It’s a new year. In with the confidence, out with the bullshit.
There are things I want in life, however, those things don’t always come easy. That’s just how it is for me. I have moments where I get discouraged and want to quit, but I happen to appreciate the beauty in defeat. Defeat drives me to find the workarounds needed for me to get what I want.
If you want something bad enough, you’ll make a way, trust me. It may take you longer than expected, but when you get it, you’ll appreciate it ten times more because you had to work ten times harder to get it.
You have the option to quit, but quitting won’t get you anything you want.
Let me repeat that for those up in the balcony seats didn’t catch that.
Persistence will get you closer to what you want in life, but you have to work past defeat to acquire it. Just another of life’s many lessons.
Last year, I was go, go, go. With so many ideas I wanted to work on, I didn’t take time off. My brain begged me to rest. I ignored it. Fear of falling behind fueled me to keep going. Over time, my body began to beg along with my brain.
PLEASE take a break!!!
Once again, I refused to listen and continued to work. Things were going swell until my brain and body decided they were over it. Little by little, the shutdown set in, introducing me to an enemy that I never want to see:
There aren’t enough words to describe how much I despise burnout. My brain goes into autopilot. I can do just enough to function and anything other than that takes a backseat. It holds you hostage and you can fight it all you want to regain control. Trust me, I’ve fought burnout…and lost.
When you’re body gets the rest it needs, burnout will slowly dissipate. I hope that once you endure one incident of burnout, you’ll make a conscious effort to incorporate rest into your routine. It’s been my experience that things flow smoothly when you’re well-rested.
On the other hand, if you fail to learn this very important lesson, you’re doomed to repeat the lesson again and again and again. Haven’t you suffered enough?