The Recovering Pessimist

Helping pessimists see the bright side of life without losing their "half empty" roots.

My 2016 Fall Favorites


The Recovering Pessimist: My 2016 Fall Faves -- With Fall approaching, I wanted to share what I'm looking forward to this year. | #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimistAutumn 2016 began September 22 and with that comes cooler weather, which we need here in RVA. So without further adieu, I’m here to deliver my fall favorites for 2016 (click here for last year’s post).

Food and Beverage!!

In last year’s post, I mentioned several of my favorite food and beverage items. It’s apple butter and pumpkin butter time! Absolutely delicious on toast, bagels, and in oatmeal. I’ve been obsessed with finding bread pudding and cobbler recipes to my Pinterest account. Also, seasonal beers appear on shelves, ready for my taste buds to enjoy.


The weather is still warm, but the nights get a bit chilly, so layering clothing is essential for me. There’s something about a light, chunky sweater, boots, and a light infinity scarf that make me so happy. I’ve been online window shopping for all new clothing. Soon as a sale starts, I’m on it!

Home Fragrance

For fall, I love scents such as leather, wood, musk, bergamot, and sandalwood. I tend to buy these scents in the forms of candles, incense, room sprays, and air fresheners for my car. A few of my favorite home fragrance lines are by Glade, Bath and Body Works, Yankee Candle, and various Etsy stores. The first three usually have coupons and/or coupon codes available this time of year.

Cozy Nights

Fall nights are great. I tend to open the windows to allow the crisp night air to enter the apartment. It feels so relaxing to read, watch TV, sleep, etc. with the window open and crisp air surrounding you. The cooler air mixed with the home fragrance of your choice is divine.


Festival season doesn’t stop at the end of summer. Here in RVA, my favorite festivals are the Richmond Folk Festival, Armenian Food Festival, and Richmond Italian Festival. Put on your comfy layers and enjoy!

That’s it, folks! I hope you enjoyed this year’s list. Leave a comment with some of your fall favorites.

Until next time,



Wisdom Wednesday #143


The Recovering Pessimist: Wisdom Wednesday #143 -- My answer isn't going to change today, tomorrow, or ever. | #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimist


Pay Attention


The Recovering Pessimist: Pay Attention -- We listen but are we really hearing what's actually being said to us? We pay attention, but are we paying attention to what ISN'T being said? Do yourself a favor and pay attention. | #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimistLately, I’ve done a lot of self-reflection. Thinking about the good and bad, more so the bad. In addition to that, I’ve wondered if I ignored red flags that were present. In hindsight, I realized that there were SO, SO many red flags. They were thisclose and yet, I still couldn’t see them.


I didn’t pay attention.

Honestly, I could kick my own ass for not seeing and hearing what was in front of me. I didn’t pay attention to that ex whose actions showed that he wasn’t honest. I didn’t listen to that friend whose actions showed that she had selfish tendencies.

For me, paying attention is composed of two things:

  • Pay attention to the exact words being said. Don’t twist them around to sound like what you want them to sound like.

This took me a long time to figure out. Partially because I was neck-deep in denial (that’s another blog post for another day) and denial is a sonofabitch. When I finally learned to listen to and comprehend the syllables being verbalized, I saved myself a lot of time and heartache.

  • Pay attention to what isn’t being said.

For me, non-verbal cues are slightly more important than verbal cues. Reason being is because people will tell you what you want to hear, not what you need to hear. If you find yourself questioning what they’re saying to you, focus on what they aren’t saying.

Oftentimes, the answer to my question and/or the clarity I seek exists in what isn't being verbally… Click To Tweet

Pay attention to what’s being verbally and non-verbally expressed to you. It’ll save you a lot of time and potential headaches in the long run. Trust me.

Until next time,



Wisdom Wednesday #142


The Recovering Pessimist: Wisdom Wednesday #142 -- Time is precious. Don't waste it. | #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimist


Random Thought #19: Fresh Starts


The Recovering Pessimist: Random Thought #19: Fresh Starts - Having a bad day is inevitable. How you choose to deal with that bad day is what matters...because you'll have another bad day. | #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimistI have bad days.

You have bad days.

We ALL have bad days.

Having a bad day is one of my top five things I don’t enjoy experiencing. It’s right up there with menstrual cramps and migraines. Experiencing them is inevitable, however, I choose how I deal with them. I can wallow in pain, or I can develop coping mechanisms to make them manageable. I use the same approach for bad days.

For example, I tell myself the following:

  • Today will come to an end.
  • While today was bad, today could’ve been worse.
  • Midnight brings a fresh start of 24 hours for me to make good use of.

I’ll be honest, sometimes none of the above works and that’s okay. In those instances, I come home and try to decompress. If that doesn’t work, I shower, eat, and go to bed. Sometimes, turning my brain off is what’s needed to escape from the claws of a bad day.

It's all about how you choose to deal with bad days. Choose wisely. Click To Tweet

Until next time,





Wisdom Wednesday #141


The Recovering Pessimist: Wisdom Wednesday #141 -- You can't say it won't work if you don't make an effort. | #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimist


You Are What You Allow


The Recovering Pessimist: You Are What You Allow -- You dictate how people treat you. Remaining silent won't make them change, however, using your voice will. Try it. | #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimistOn Season 12, Episode 14 of Grey’s Anatomy, Meredith gives a speech to Jo in response to Jo feeling that Meredith treats her unfairly. In the speech, Meredith delivered a line that had me clapping:

“You are what you allow.”

In all relationships, you decide what behavior you will (and won’t) allow in the relationship. If someone says and/or does something that rubs you the wrong way, it’s YOUR responsibility to speak up. Let them know that their words and/or actions are unacceptable.


Don’t assume that they know better.

Don’t assume that they won’t do it again. 

For many, silence equates acceptance. If you don't speak up, folks will continue to disrespect you. Click To Tweet

I can’t say this enough. You cannot complain about how someone treats you when you haven’t opened your mouth to say something and/or still stick around. You can love and care about them all you want to, but I need you to care about yourself more.

You deserve better than this.

Until next time,




Wisdom Wednesday #140


The Recovering Pessimist: Wisdom Wednesday #140 -- Make an effort every day to fear less. | #amwriting #optimisticpessimist #recoveringpessimist


How to Avoid Blogger Overwhelm


Blogging is pretty awesome. I get to talk about the things I want to talk about in hopes that somebody will learn from my mistakes and/or experiences. But that’s only one end of the blogging spectrum. On the other end, blogging can be overwhelming. With so much information accessible from multiple sources, you may not know how to apply it. Or, you may be unsure if you should even apply it.

The Recovering Pessimist: How to Avoid Blogger Overwhelm -- Being a blogger is great and whatnot, but don't let that fool you. On the other side of the spectrum is blogger overwhelm and that beast can suck you in if you aren't proactive. I shared a few tips that help me avoid blogger overwhelm. Enjoy!  | #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimist

Help Me/

I’m all too familiar with that feeling of overwhelm & I don’t want you to go through it. Below are a few tips I’ve acquired on avoiding blogger overwhelm:

You Can Only Plan So Much Before You Launch

There was no launch plan for this blog. I came up with the domain, grabbed a (free) theme, and started writing. In hindsight, I should’ve at least planned somewhat & saved myself some time and/or energy. Besides, if you find yourself waist-deep in planning mode, you may never launch because you want everything to be perfect. And you know how perfection goes. insert eye roll here

Perfection doesn’t exist in general, and it definitely doesn’t exist in the blogging world. Click To Tweet
Don’t Get Wrapped Up in the Money Game

Being able to make money from your blog is awesome. The internet is full of sources for you to learn how to make  x amount of dollars from your blog. It’s also misleading. Rarely did I read/watch a blogger be truly honest with how they made x amount of money in such as short amount of time. Regina blew the lid off of that mystery by writing an awesome blog post about avoiding getting caught up in the six figure blogger gang.

Which brings me to the next point:

Question Everything!

Just because it sounds good, doesn’t mean it’s good for you. Don’t just take the information you read and/or hear at face value. Question it. How does this apply to you? Can you afford the good/service? If not, can you find an inexpensive way to get the good/service?

Question everything. Your time and money are valuable. Be critical of who/what you spend it on. Click To Tweet
You Gotta Work to Gain AND Keep Subscribers

Gaining subscribers is one of the top goals for many bloggers. Makes perfect sense. But let me let you in on a little secret:

You can't treat subscribers like trophies on a shelf. You have to work to keep them. Click To Tweet

Simple and to the point. And speaking of subscribing…

Don’t Subscribe to Every Single Newsletter if It Doesn’t Help You

A few months ago, I looked at my email inbox and I kid you not, I had at least 14 emails from different newsletters I was subscribed to. Mind you those emails were from one day. Of those 14 maybe three or four were of actual use to me. Most of them I subscribed to in order to get a freebie and then had no use for the newsletter afterwards.

My inbox and I deserve so much better.

So I finally went through them and deleted all but maybe four or five. I don’t sigh and roll my eyes anymore when I look at my inbox now.

Don’t feel like you need to subscribe to every newsletter you come across. Be critical of your inbox… Click To Tweet

I hope you find these tips useful. If you’ve suffered from blogger overwhelm, how did you get through it, I would love to hear about it.

Until next time,



Wisdom Wednesday #139


The Recovering Pessimist: Wisdom Wednesday #139 -- Strive to be above the standard. | #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimist

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