Caged in Defeat

The other day I was on Pinterest and ran across this quote:

The Recovering Pessimist: Caged in Defeat -- Making excuses for why you can't achieve greatness leaves you trapped in a cage. | #amwriting #recoveringpessimist

The quote struck a nerve. It was a reminder that life is short. Very short. So short that oftentimes we forget that we neglect to do the things we want to do. We make excuses for why we don’t get these things done.

I don’t have the time.

I’ll do it later. 

I won’t have the money. 

I can’t stop working.

These excuses keep us trapped like birds in a cage. The idea of actually living our lives the way we want to seems like an unfulfilled dream. I woke up, went to work, came home, went to bed, and repeated the next day. That ain’t living.

Step out of that cage. Stretch your wings, take a deep breath, and realize that there is so much more to life than punching a clock. Find the resources to get your goals accomplished.

Don’t Wait for Closure

The Recovering Pessimist: Don't Wait for Closure. -- Don't wait for someone to give you what you can give yourself. | #recoveringpessimist #amwritingClosure is complicated. Many need it to move on from a relationship, situation, etc. In theory, this is fine. However this can go horribly wrong when it comes to execution. Here’s an example:

I know someone who constantly seeks closure. Relationships will fail for whatever reason and she’ll spend weeks calling and/or texting the ex to get an explanation for why things went south. Even when the writing is on the wall.

*screams into pillow*

Here’s the funny thing about closure. Closure only works if the person providing the closure is genuine. If said person doesn’t give one iota about your well-being, don’t expect the closure to be genuine. People will tell you what they think you want to hear. So, if you get that closure and it isn’t genuine, what’s the purpose in seeking it?!

I’ll answer that for you. There is no purpose in seeking it if the closure isn’t genuine. Don’t give someone else control over something you have the power to do yourself. Do whatever is (legally) necessary for you to drop the mic on closure.

The power is yours. Use it wisely.

Stay Ready

A couple of weeks ago, I was brushing my teeth and humming this little nugget of nostalgia:

Sidenote: This movie is full of life lessons. If you haven’t seen it as an adult, I urge you to do so. You’ll find yourself appreciating it much more now that you’ve experienced life.

Okay, back to the post.

Life comes at you fast. I’ve fallen ill with little to no warning. The minor car repairs suddenly became major. Unexpected bills throw off my entire budget. Getting  caught off guard with no plan of action is beyond frustrating. These unwelcoming surprises taught me an important lesson:

Stay ready.

I loathe surprises, especially ones that involve a hit to my back account. Having some sort t of backup plan on deck keeps me sane. It doesn’t have to be set in stone. Many of my backup plans consist of the classic “If-then” statements. I love options (and theories) so the “If-then” statements work well for me.

Now I’ll be honest with you, no amount of preparation will ever have me 100% ready. Shit happens. I can prepare for A and B, but D comes along and it’s back to brainstorming solutions. Which brings me back to the lesson of this post:

Stay Ready.



Do U Like Me? Yes, No…

The Recovering Pessimist: Do You Like Me? -- The answer is way more complicated than it was in elementary school. | #amwriting #optimisticpessimist #recoveringpessimist

Remember those infamous Do U Like Me? notes from middle school? Person A would slip Person B (the middle person) a note to give to Person C (you). It would have Do U Like Me? at the top. Underneath the question are the possible answers Yes and No.

You  checked the box next to applicable answer (or circled the answer), gave the note back to Person B to relay, and waited for a response. We can kiss those simple times goodbye.

Social media and online dating sites create more avenues for people to meet. In theory, this isn’t bad. With more avenues to meet people Yes and No are no longer cut and dry.  It’s Complicated  is now thrown in for a bit of complexity.

It’s Complicated is usually the response when there are other circumstances preventing a cut and dry answer. I’ll use my personal experience to explain.

  • He had a girlfriend, but they were thisclose to breaking up. He wanted to “explore his options” before he broke up with her. You know, just in case the grass wasn’t greener on the other side. *rolls eyes*
  • I was casually dating a guy. While out at happy hour, I had a conversation with a guy about the beers we were drinking. He was really easy to talk to (and it didn’t hurt that he was gorgeous). We exchanged numbers  and talked for days. At some point, he asked me about my relationship status. I was still casually dating the other guy, so I explained that it was complicated. I never heard from him after that conversation.

It’s tough out here on Single Island. You have to weed out the weirdos in order to find the potentials to date. That’s exhausting in and of itself. You finally find one that tickles your fancy just to find out that his relationship status is complicated.

*throws remote across room*

Seriously? Is it really complicated? Or is he/she afraid of letting go of their relationship and starting over? You’re comfortable with that person and the idea of letting them go and starting over is overwhelming. I get it. Been there, done that, and learned a powerful lesson:

Simple as Yes and No.