What in the hell is Tim about to do? I anxiously fidget with my napkin in my lap as I watch Ashley begin her speech. She exudes sexy in that strapless fuchsia dress I picked out. Makes her eyes stand out. Anyway, she barely gets out the second sentence before Tim stands up and interrupts.
“Babe, I know that you’re totally thrown off by the grandness of this, but there’s something that I want to share with you.”
I can hear guests begin to chatter amongst each other. My palms start to sweat. I try to remember if we packed everything we wanted to take with us. If not, we definitely can’t go back to get it.
Ashley looks nervously at me. I shrug my shoulders.
I see the panic in Derek’s eyes and that’s when I realized what was happening. He’s f*cking proposing!!!! This absolutely, positively can’t happen. It can’t!
“Ashley, I’ve been in love with you since the day you beat me at beer pong in undergrad.”
Everyone breaks out in laughter; everyone with the exception of Derek and I.
“You weren’t interested in me, but I wasn’t about to take that as a loss. I like to say that I eventually wore you down. I want us to grow old together, barely playing beer pong with our arthritic hands.”
Tim motions to Derek. He reaches in his blazer pocket and takes out the box that I found a week ago. I scan the room, Ashley’s mother starts crying. Her father looks like he wants to run interference on the entire moment. Derek is pale and I just want to scream.
Just when Tim begins to lower his right knee, Derek and I jump up and yell out, “Wait!”