People assume that when you say “I’m fine”, it means that you’re fine as long as they’re in your life. It’s true. When things were good, they were great. Over time, I matured and where I was then wasn’t where I was before.
You can’t always take people with you as you journey through life.
I tried to make things work between us. Why? Because I didn’t want to lose them. There were so many years invested in those relationships. My attempts to make it work were positive for a while, then things went sour again.
It took me a minute, but I understood that I had to cut the dead limbs if I wanted to continue to grow. No more visits. Phone calls and texts stopped. Social media connections were disconnected. Something in the matrix shifted. Folks got in their feelings.
“You’ll be back.”
“Oh, you just need some time.”
“I’ll give you some space.”
Many didn’t take me seriously until those days became weeks, weeks became months, and months became years. I can remember folks telling me that it would get better with time and I thought they were crazy. They were right. Things got better. I got used to my new normal and I’m glad I let those people go.
Until next time,
I face an internal struggle.
My body seeks rest
while my mind begs to tap into the creativity
and my spirit pleads to work through the stress and anxiety
that daylight suppressed.
Spend a few minutes with my journal
Chronicle all the matters that weigh me down.
Use 2-3 hours to work on
the inspirations that spoke to my creativity
during daylight hours.
I rest for the night.
daylight greets me.
I spend those hours
waiting for darkness to arrive