Sharp chest pains this morning had me stuck and panicked on the side of the toilet. After about 45 seconds, the pains went away. I got ready and headed out to work. Got to work and I felt “off”. Physically, I was there but mentally I was in space. Once I cleared the brain fog, I left work en route to the hospital. Once it was confirmed that I wasn’t having a heart attack or a stroke, I decided to take some notes to keep myself entertained. Enjoy!
– Putting on a brave face when I’m an emotional wreck. I hate crying. I need a beer. Beer makes everything better.
– Sharing a room with two annoying individuals disputing a $8 charge on a phone bill. Sir, a roaming signal doesn’t mean that the phone is off, your signal sucks.
– If the Universe is trying to tell me something, I need to know what it is.
– Will they charge me for water?
– Why is the bathroom so far away?
– Why is the door open? This curtain/sheet thingy isn’t providing any kind of privacy. Lemme go shut the door.
– He better not ask me to use my phone.
– Chest pains will get you out of the waiting room QUICK!
– How much is this going to cost me?
– Did she say I was being discharged? Is anything wrong with me? Where is the doctor?
– I got all comfy in this robe. Too bad I can’t wear this out to my car. Guess I should put my clothes on. Ugh!
It’s either laugh or cry. I cried enough for the entire waiting room so laugh it is!
I grew up watching comedic great such as Richard Pryor, Redd Foxx, George Carlin, and Bernie Mac. I love how sarcastically witty and hilariously offensive they were. They gave political correctness a the middle finger salute.
On the playground, I cracked “yo momma” jokes with the best of them. While everyone else was too busy trying to remain PC, I could give a rat’s ass less. My jokes sent kids to the school bus devastated.
As an adult, my slightly coughs offensive humor is heavy with sarcasm and wit. By society’s standards (who knew society had standards?), you shouldn’t laugh at 80% of what I say. Stifling laughter is bad for your soul. Throw PCness in the wind and laugh you big dummy wink.
As a lifetime fan, thank you Richard, Redd, George, and Bernie for teaching me to laugh without a care or concern.