• Love, Dating, & Relationships

    Cuffing (Pre) Season is Underway!

    Fall and Winter are nipping at Summer’s heels and Single Island is buzzing with excitement.

    Why?

    It’s cuffing pre-season.

    Yay!!!!!!!!!!!

    For those who are unfamiliar, cuffing season takes place during Fall and Winter. Those who are comfortably single during the warmer months may feel that the weather change puts a cramp in their style. As a result, many people who would usually be free agents find potential boo thangs to snuggle up with.

    Like football, cuffing season has a pre-season. I’ve noticed that seasoned veterans are starting the selection process earlier this year. The pre-season allows time for one to check out potential boo thangs while they’re still enjoying the summer breeze. The major season goes by so quick and if one doesn’t plan properly, the ahead of the major season which goes so quick. It’s less pressure in the event that a potential doesn’t mesh, one has time to try again. Oh, and also like football, cuffing season typically ends when Spring is around the corner.

    Keep in mind that not everyone participates in cuffing season nor do all cuffing reason relationships end once the flowers bloom. With that said, let the searching begin!!

  • The Complexities of Life

    Help Yourself

    On my way home I was listening to “Help Yourself” by Amy Winehouse. There is a lyric in that song that keeps replaying in my mind.

    I can’t help you if you won’t help yourself.

    As a society, we tend to want so much while offering little to nothing in return. I don’t understand where this sense of entitlement comes from.

    We create problems or get ourselves into situations and we expect someone to come down from the mountain and lend a hand.

    What have you done to help yourself? Anything? You can’t possibly be upset when nobody extends a hand if you haven’t at least made an attempt.

    Just a thought.

  • Love, Dating, & Relationships

    Online Dating: Observations

    Online dating. We see the commercials for popular dating websites such as cough Match.com and eHarmony that feature all of these former residents of Single Island that have found love. Their testimonials are so bubbly in hopes that you too will find that special someone according to.

    Insert massive eye roll here

    Many dating sites guarantee that you’ll meet your perfect match based on some proven system of algorithms, points, interests, etc. My inner pessimist calls that a load of crap. Too often have I logged on to see that I have a high percentage of matches that meet my criteria. Once I read the profiles, I start to question this alleged proven system.

    Some of the observations that have me ringing the BS alarm:

    1. Photos say a lot without saying anything.

    There ‘s a HUGE difference between a photo taken 5 months ago and a photo taken 5 years ago. How can I take you seriously with a photo taken in 1999? At the same time, who do you think you’re going to attract with no photos?

    2. If you ask for it, make sure you have it first.

    Sure, we want someone who has their own transportation, living situation, job, etc. Don’t have a list of demands that you aren’t able to fulfill yourself. Asking for a mate to have a car and their own living situation while you’re couch surfing and bus hopping is not attractive.

    3.  Don’t pass judgement.

    I see this a lot. Too often, I’ll see a profile that specifically states that they’re only interested in a specific race of men/women. This is not the problem since we all have our personal preference. With that in mind, you don’t need to include a paragraph in your profile disrespecting all other races.

    4. “I’m not here for sex but…”

    Haha, this is hilarious. I can recall seeing a guy’s profile photos and he was naked in every.single.photo. Then, to cap it off, he had the audacity to say that he wasn’t interested in sex. Could have fooled me sir.

    First impressions don’t mean squat for many. I’ve deleted and blocked more profiles than I have responded to. If this is what’s out there, I’ll continue to reside on Single Island. There are other things I care more about, like happy hour and football season.

    Yes, football season.

  • The Complexities of Life

    Negative Nancy & the Olympics

    The 2012 Olympics have just ended. While I enjoyed hearing fun facts about the athletes, I didn’t enjoy hearing the negative tidbits. Case in point: Gabby Douglas. This young lady competed with an infectious smile on her face. Watching warmed my normally frigid heart.

    Clearly, the warm and fuzzy feeling wasn’t enough for some.

    I  was watching a popular morning TV show while getting ready to go out. The hosts were talking about the highlights of one of the events Gabby competed in. They were amazed at how Gabby seemed to move so effortlessly. Sounds awesome right? It was. In that same segment, the same TV hosts, then decided to talk about Gabby’s parents and their financial struggles.

    What a way to kill a good mood.

    Was that necessary? Heck no. On the other hand, people (including the media) like to build you up just to tear you down. It’s so true. Today, you’re awesome. Tomorrow, the whole world knows about your scandalous past, which has nothing to do with the accomplishments that were celebrated.

    Negative Nancy is everywhere. I’m convinced that there’s a dark, rainy cloud that follows these bitter folks everywhere they go. It’s sad. All that energy used for negativity could be used to, I don’t know, get your own life together perhaps?

    Just some food for thought.

  • Love, Dating, & Relationships,  The Complexities of Life

    “Love” and F*ckery

    Embed from Getty Images

    People will put up with anything all in the name of “love”, including f*ckery.

    I’m sure we know at least one person who, to avoid loneliness, will date/marry/etc less than stellar individuals. Don’t act like you’ve never noticed. I know I’ve had several “what the hell does he/she see in him/her” moments.

    What makes these folks less than stellar? Oftentimes, it’s the ginormous elephant that’s in the room. The pieces of the puzzle that just don’t fit no matter how you try to justify it. While you scratch your head in doubt, that other person is doing one of the following: blinded by “love”, too stupid to see the obvious OR they probably see past the bull and just don’t want to be alone so they ignore it.

    We all have our breaking point. When will you get to yours? Or have you already gotten there and refuse to cross the line?

    Nothing good will come out of being with someone just to avoid being lonely. NOTHING! Loneliness and desperation can be smelled a mile away. Some folks feed off of that.

    When you say to the Universe that you just want “somebody”, you will get “any and every thing”.

    More than likely, this is why you have what you have now. The sharks are attracted to your emotional stench. It’s disgusting. Clean yourself up.

    This “love” that you have is  pure f*ckery at its finest.

    Learn the difference.

     

    Edited November 23, 2014

  • The Complexities of Life

    Reflection: Days 1-10 of #30In30

    Participating in the #30In30 writing challenge has been a battle. I’ve made a promise to not online the Twitter universe that I would see this challenge through, but also myself. To break a promise to strangers is one thing, but to do that to myself is just wrong. I can’t be a failure to myself. Not cool.

    So, to recap on 10 days of writing awesomeness, here are a few things #30In30 have taught me so far:

    1. Inspiration has no schedule.

    Ideas/thoughts come to me at the most random of times. The best ones come when I’m driving or just hanging out at home watching TV.

    2. Sharing is good for the soul.

    To share things that I don’t normally share with those closest to me is so refreshing. I literally feel like a huge burden is removed.

    3. Stats aren’t everything.

    Self explanatory.

    4. Stream of consciousness writing is my friend.

    If I’m struggling with finding topics, I will sit down with pen and paper and just write whatever comes to mind. While it may seem random, I usually find at least 3-4 possible topics. Score!

    5. My writing style isn’t for everyone.

    In the past, I was too concerned about coming off as too aggressive. At this point, I could care less. I’m not going to be everyone’s favorite and that’s okay.

     

    Edited May 2, 2015

  • The Complexities of Life

    Comfortably Just Friends

    Embed from Getty Images

    You and I. Best described as friends who subconsciously dip their toes into murky water. When I look back at our history, I laugh. Not as a joke, but in amazement. We’ve come a long way since 7-11 don’t you think? We became pretty good friends, sorta like two magnets in a way. Even when we get caught up in our separate lives, we always manage to find our way back. It’s crazy how we catch up and move right along, never missing a beat.

    In the words of the late Amy Winehouse, “you’re my fellow, my guy”. You make me smile on my absolute worst of days. So much is said when we sit in silence. I’m comfortable in this space, but I’m curious. A small part of me wants to know what would happen if both feet were in that water?

    Would that makes things weird? Some would argue that titles tend to ruin things. I don’t know about you, but dating for me has been exhausting. While potentials may be great, they’re not you. The easiness that I feel around you isn’t there with them. By no means am I blaming you. I’m holding others to a standard that it’s exactly fair. Am I thinking too much into this? Perhaps. Then again, I don’t want to hold out hope for something that just isn’t destined to happen either.

    For now, I’m comfortable being your friend. Murky water optional.

     

    Edited November 23, 21014

     

     

     

     

  • The Complexities of Life

    (Im)patiently Waiting

    I was listening to “Those Who Wait” by Daley and my mind started thinking.

    Do good things really come to those who wait?

    The “Tortoise and the Hare” approach that I was taught as a child places emphasis on hard work and persistence. Theoretically this approach pays off, however, there is a slight drawback:  patience is the key to success.

    Yeah…about that. I have an untraceable about of patience. It’s a character flaw that I’m not necessarily proud of, but I accept it. We all have flaws right? In my case, being constantly disappointed by people has left me extremely independent with a zero-tolerance policy for bullsh*t.

    When you want things done at a certain time and in a certain fashion, having to patiently wait on someone to do it can be as pleasant as nails on a chalkboard. Trying to change for the better is difficult, especially when you have to now fill that empty glass of water. The next time I feel the urge to just “do it myself”, I’m just going to quietly sing the song that inspired this post.

    MsWalton

    Edited November 23, 2014