The Complexities of Life

You Are the Common Denominator

The Recovering Pessimist: You Are the Common Denominator--When the same issues keep happening in various relationships, perhaps the common denominator is you. | #amwriting #recoveringpessimistI have an associate who’s been involved in several failed relationships with men who have nothing of substance to contribute to a relationship. Each relationship comes with its own set of red flags that she either can’t see OR she sees them and chooses to ignore them.

Why can’t she see them and/or why would she ignore them?

She doesn’t want to be alone. It’s simple, yet so very complicated. It’s been my observation that her need to always have someone trumps having someone of quality. Being so focused on finding someone, she ends up accepting everyone. This is where the complicated aspect comes in.

In conversation, she complains about how the guys treat her. There’s a lot of take and take going on the guy’s side. When there’s nothing left to take, they leave. She’s been told by those close to her that these men aren’t worth anything, but it went in one end and out the other.

Which brings me to this:

[bctt tweet=”You find yourself involved in relationships with different people, but the same issues reoccur. At what point do you realize that you are the common denominator?”]

Seriously, think about it. If you don’t want to be the common denominator, do the work. Get off the relationship wheel, recognize the recurring issues, understand your role(s) within those issues, and solve the equation. When you know better, you do better.

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