• The Recovering Pessimist | Back to Center: Update 7 | www.therecoveringpessimist.me | #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimist #backtocenter
    Back to Center

    Back to Center: Update 7

    2020 has been one hell of a year.

    I’m stressed, my anxiety is a hot mess, and writing this blog post has been a struggle.

    It’s felt like an endless gut punch. Kobe died, COVID-19 hit the streets, and an election year have all weighed on my spirit.

    I’ve struggled with my creativity throughout the year. It comes in waves where I don’t want to do anything & waves where I get a rush of ideas at one time.

    In between the gut punches, there have been some bright spots.

    1. The pandemic sent my job home to telework, something I’ve wanted to do for years.
    2. I got my 2021 Passion Planner in the mail & I look forward to using it to not only keep me organized but also a creative outlet.
    3. I learned to give myself a lot of grace this year.
    4. I made adjustments in my home in anticipation of the upcoming cold weather months.

    I don’t expect 2021 to be the start of everything suddenly better. What I do expect to do remain focused while being gentle with myself. That’s all we can do at this point, right?

    Until next time,


  • The Complexities of Life

    My 2019 Wrap Up

    The Recovering Pessimist | My 2019 Wrap Up | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimist

    I started 2019 with a full list of goals to accomplish. As the year progressed, my priorities shifted from my list of goals to a focus on being productive with focusing on self-care. I’m proud of the things I accomplished. I’m also grateful for the lessons I learned in the midst of some hellacious storms. Below are the highlights and lessons learned in 2019:

    2019 Highlights 

    Got a raise

    Amazed and shocked. That’s all I can say.

    Got comfy at home

    Throughout the year, I made improvements at home to make things more comfortable. I brought a combination washer/dryer, which is fabulous! I replaced a noisy bathroom exhaust fan with a much quieter model. The hideous storage shed in the backyard got demolished. I also finished an outdoor storage space with drywall.

    Discovered couponing accounts on Instagram

    I love a great deal and I’ll wait months for something I want to go on sale before I buy it. Couponing accounts on Instagram have saved me so much money. Just remember to turn your notifications on:)

    I saw Hamilton!

    Ya’ll, when news broke that Hamilton was coming to Richmond, I was excited. The show is amazing!  If it comes to your area and you’re able to see it, go! You won’t regret it.

    2019 Lesson Learned

    Set boundaries…and stick to them

    Boundaries were a key part of my self-care this year. I had to finally acknowledge that I could no longer ignore the toxic people in my life. The hardest part of this process was separating the person from who they were in my life. I continue to struggle with that at times, but I remind myself why these boundaries exist, and I continue to follow through. By sticking to the boundaries I set, my stress/anxiety levels are manageable.

    This year was a great year. I’m grateful for all that I’ve done and learned. I’m happy to go into 2020 in a much better headspace. I hope 2020 will be a kickass year for you!

    Until next time,


  • The Complexities of Life

    What Are Your Options?

    The Recovering Pessimist | "What Are Your Options?" | Every idea I have comes with at least 2 other options, just in case things go left. Having those options make me feel comfortable and prepared. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimist
    Photo by Dose Media on Unsplash

    I’ve never subscribed to the idea of only having one chance (or opportunity) to make it happen. That’s a lot of pressure. I don’t want to make myself anxious asking myself the same questions:

    What if it doesn’t work?

    What am I going to do next?

    No matter how confident you are with your idea, things can go left at any moment. Oftentimes without any sort of warning. How will you handle the situation?

    [tweetshare tweet=”You don’t forfeit ideas because you didn’t have other options.” username=”irzY3n0P88iH(Ehn#F@pCiV3bViiRWon:1:1″]

    Keep a few options in your back pocket. Just in case.

    Until next time,



  • The Complexities of Life

    Best Under Pressure


    Embed from Getty Images

    I work best in a state of chaos. It’s definitely for the easily stressed.

    This works perfectly when it comes to blogging. Ninety percent of my blog posts are based on observations, making it impossible to schedule posts ahead of time. While I try to write blog posts a week in advance, that doesn’t always work in my favor.

    Inspiration can hit hours before my scheduled post time. This is usually when I’m at my full-time job. Hence the chaos. Being a pro at multitasking is essential if I want to get posts scheduled on time.

    P.S. The adrenaline rush I get from working in chaos is pretty awesome too:)



  • The Complexities of Life

    When Trust Flees the Scene

    Image via Pinterest.

    This post is inspired by the following question that appeared on my Twitter timeline:

    How do you deal with being cheated on?

    My response? Leave.

    There are some things that can be forgiven (e.g., forgetting a birthday, anniversary, paying the cable bill on time, etc). Cheating ain’t one of ’em.

    For some, the logical decision to leave isn’t so clear-cut.

    Trust is a hard thing to gain to begin with. It’s  earned, not given by default to any ol’ body.

    Once that trust is violated, it’s damn near impossible to get back. I can recall an instance where I knew that he was cheating but my heart wanted to stay.

    It can work, I would tell myself. Now matter how hard I tried to make it work, there was no amount of forgiveness to make me forget.

    I didn’t believe anything he said anymore. Questioned his whereabouts each time he came home. Raised an eyebrow anytime he used his phone. Made myself anxious worry about him instead of packing to leave. Anxiety is the byproduct of worrying. It wrecks havoc on your well-being. No amount of delusion can fix the damage that has been done.

    When trust flees the scene, that’s your cue to leave as well.

  • The Complexities of Life

    Find Your Own Way to Let Go

    Image via Pinterest.

    I don’t like to share my problems and/or issues with anyone. In the past, I’ve disclosed to people in confidence only to find out they violated my trust.

    So I dealt with things alone, which worked in theory. However, it wrecked havoc on my health. Lots of sleepless nights, loss of appetite, horrible hair days, and that’s just the physical ramifications.

    Mentally, the anxiety from worrying held me hostage. I felt like the world around me hit PAUSE because I was unable to focus on anything besides the issue/problem at hand.

    Once a solution was found, I was able to mentally hit PLAY and life proceeded to go on.

    The last time an issue wrecked havoc, I was determined not to go through this. I grabbed my journal, taking my time to detail what was weighing heavily on my mind. As I wrote, I felt the weight becoming lighter. A feeling of immense calm rushed over me and I was able to focus on a possible solution.

    Find your own way of letting go. It benefits no one to bottle up all of that stress and anxiety.

    Help yourself continue to be your best self.

  • The Complexities of Life

    10 Ways I Work Through a Bad Mood

    Image via searchquotes.com

    1. YouTube

    My favorite comedy channels are Funky Dineva, Chris Starr, Sweet Addictions TV, and BrianBee.

    2. Silence

    To avoid saying something I’ll regret later, I keep mum.

    3. Chipotle

    A barbacoa burrito bowl always makes me smile.

    4. Watch “Will and Grace”.

    My favorite TV show of all time. The comedic timing of that show was brilliant!

    5. Pour a Drink.

    Honey Whiskey is always available in my home.

    6. Pinterest

    Spend some time scrolling through pins and forget all about your bad mood.

    7. Write

    Putting my thoughts/feelings in my journal relieves so much tension. When I go back to read it, I can recognize the catalysts that sparked my bad mood.

    8. Take a walk.

    Fresh air to clear the mind and get some exercise.

    9. Dancing

    Put on some upbeat music and dance it out!

    10. Naps

    When all else fails, goodnight.

  • The Complexities of Life

    Beautiful Sadness

    Behind the dimpled smile

    Past the contagious laughter

    A flicker of sadness rests in her eyes.

    Anxiety agitates her stomach

    Stress dances on her spine

    Pride won’t show it

    Alone, she cries.

    Fear and worry flow hot

    Down her cheeks.

    Weight slowly lifting

    From her burdened shoulders.

    A beautiful sadness revealed

    A dimpled smile and contagious laughter.

    But no amount of tears

    Can remove that flicker of sadness from her eyes.

  • Story Time

    #XD30-Chapter 24-Cracks in the Foundation

    Susan looks so calm holding that gun by her side. It takes a few minutes for me to calm my nerves and gather my thoughts.

    “What exactly do you mean by ‘money doesn’t keep crazy away’”?

    Susan laughs and walks over to the bookshelf. She carefully puts the gun back in the book and places the book back on the shelf.

    “Let’s not play stupid Ashley. You know exactly what I mean. Yelena is not going to just go away. No amount of money is going to keep her away. A bullet on the other hand…”

    She sneezes.

    “…is permanent.”

    Oh. My. Damn.

    “You can’t possibly be talking about a permanent means to remove Yelena from our lives?”

    Susan sits on the chaise lounge and rubs her ankle.

    “What part of permanent don’t you understand?” she asks, left eyebrow raised.

    “You know what? Your hormones have you on 10 and I need you to bring it down to two and a quarter. You’re pregnant. Sit your ass down somewhere, put your fucking feet up, and chill the fuck out!!”

    Storming out of the room, I didn’t hear her respond. At that moment, I had enough of her. If her way of coping with the truth is the handgun edition of Show and Tell, how the hell is she going to deal with motherhood?

    “Where are you going?! I know you hear me!!!!”

     Feeling an anxiety attack coming on, I grab my jacket from the hall closet, and snatch my keys from the stand next to the front door. The door closes behind me. With hands shaking and breathing erratic, I get on the elevator to the lobby. Opening the lobby door, the cool air dances across my face. Standing against the brick wall, I release the tears. Tears steady flowing, I grab my phone from my pocket and send a text.

     I don’t know how much longer I can do this.



  • The Complexities of Life

    Thankful: Stress Relievers #XD31

    English: Effects of stress on the body.
    English: Effects of stress on the body. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

    Stress wrecks havoc on my body. When I was in college, I would get walking pneumonia once a year. It sucked. Stress, lack of sleep, and bad eating habits broke down my immune system. It was miserable. When I graduated in 2009, I realized that I needed to find coping mechanisms to deal with stress before it takes over.

    Here are a few things that help to relieve stress:

    Bath and Body Works Stress Relief Body Wash

    Bath and Body Works (BBW) has these AWESOME stress relief body washes from their aromatherapy line  that comes in soothing scents such as eucalyptus spearmint, eucalyptus tea, and vanilla verbena. I don’t know what BBW puts in these washes, but as soon as I apply the product, whatever was stressing me has washed away.


    Of course I would say writing, right? Guilty.


    A nap can do me a world of good. Seriously.

    Honey Chamomile Tea

    A hot cup of honey chamomile tea feels like a soothing hug. Goodbye stress, hello calm.

    How do you relieve stress?