• The Complexities of Life

    Reflection: Days 11-30 of #30in30

    Day 30 has finally arrived.

    When I began this challenge, I wasn’t sure if I had the kahonas to complete it. Instead of focusing on the big picture, I celebrated each post.

    Slowly, writing daily became normal. Days 11-20 flew by. On day 21, I could see the finish line. I felt hella proud of myself.

    Nine days became seven. Seven days became five. Five days became three. Three became today.

    Day 30 is here and I have completed the challenge. I wait to take a brief break. The race is over and I need to finally catch my breath.

    raises glass

    The end (for now).

  • Uncategorized

    Three More Days…What’s Next?

    The #30in30 writing challenge is winding down. Parts of me are happy, worried, and incredibly proud. Happy that I won’t have to write every single day. Worried that I will backslide on this blog and get lazy and rusty with my writing. Proud that as of right now, I have stuck this out for 28 days (and counting). No part of this challenge was easy.

    Slowly, I’ve become a better writer than I was 30 days ago. Thoughts are much clearer now that I’m literally writing them out. Consider that one of my many “duh” moments during this challenge. Since I was writing daily, I wrote shorter posts. Perhaps once the challenge is over, I’ll write longer, essay-like posts. Or non-rhyming poetry (it does exist). So many possibilities.

    To my fellow #30in30 participants, what’s next?

  • The Complexities of Life

    Trusting Instinct

    Lately, I’ve been doing a lot of writing…then backspace, backspace, backspace.

    Second guessing myself has been an underlying theme of the #30In30 challenge. Ninety percent of me wants to share so much (good and bad) through this blog. The other 20% is screaming hells no ma’am” and I withdraw. Yes, I should shut up that 20% that’s holding me back, but I let it win every single time.

    Not anymore.

    This challenge is forcing me to bite the bullet, suck it up, shut up the naysayers. I have to trust my instinct. If I write it, stick with it. See it to the end. If I want to make it personal, so be it. It’s my blog, my life, right? Maybe I’ll feel better getting all of this “stuff” out of my head. Make room for some good stuff.

    It’s going to be an interesting week *bites pen*.

  • The Complexities of Life

    Negative Nancy & the Olympics

    The 2012 Olympics have just ended. While I enjoyed hearing fun facts about the athletes, I didn’t enjoy hearing the negative tidbits. Case in point: Gabby Douglas. This young lady competed with an infectious smile on her face. Watching warmed my normally frigid heart.

    Clearly, the warm and fuzzy feeling wasn’t enough for some.

    I  was watching a popular morning TV show while getting ready to go out. The hosts were talking about the highlights of one of the events Gabby competed in. They were amazed at how Gabby seemed to move so effortlessly. Sounds awesome right? It was. In that same segment, the same TV hosts, then decided to talk about Gabby’s parents and their financial struggles.

    What a way to kill a good mood.

    Was that necessary? Heck no. On the other hand, people (including the media) like to build you up just to tear you down. It’s so true. Today, you’re awesome. Tomorrow, the whole world knows about your scandalous past, which has nothing to do with the accomplishments that were celebrated.

    Negative Nancy is everywhere. I’m convinced that there’s a dark, rainy cloud that follows these bitter folks everywhere they go. It’s sad. All that energy used for negativity could be used to, I don’t know, get your own life together perhaps?

    Just some food for thought.

  • Love, Dating, & Relationships,  The Complexities of Life

    “Love” and F*ckery

    Embed from Getty Images

    People will put up with anything all in the name of “love”, including f*ckery.

    I’m sure we know at least one person who, to avoid loneliness, will date/marry/etc less than stellar individuals. Don’t act like you’ve never noticed. I know I’ve had several “what the hell does he/she see in him/her” moments.

    What makes these folks less than stellar? Oftentimes, it’s the ginormous elephant that’s in the room. The pieces of the puzzle that just don’t fit no matter how you try to justify it. While you scratch your head in doubt, that other person is doing one of the following: blinded by “love”, too stupid to see the obvious OR they probably see past the bull and just don’t want to be alone so they ignore it.

    We all have our breaking point. When will you get to yours? Or have you already gotten there and refuse to cross the line?

    Nothing good will come out of being with someone just to avoid being lonely. NOTHING! Loneliness and desperation can be smelled a mile away. Some folks feed off of that.

    When you say to the Universe that you just want “somebody”, you will get “any and every thing”.

    More than likely, this is why you have what you have now. The sharks are attracted to your emotional stench. It’s disgusting. Clean yourself up.

    This “love” that you have is  pure f*ckery at its finest.

    Learn the difference.


    Edited November 23, 2014

  • The Complexities of Life

    Reflection: Days 1-10 of #30In30

    Participating in the #30In30 writing challenge has been a battle. I’ve made a promise to not online the Twitter universe that I would see this challenge through, but also myself. To break a promise to strangers is one thing, but to do that to myself is just wrong. I can’t be a failure to myself. Not cool.

    So, to recap on 10 days of writing awesomeness, here are a few things #30In30 have taught me so far:

    1. Inspiration has no schedule.

    Ideas/thoughts come to me at the most random of times. The best ones come when I’m driving or just hanging out at home watching TV.

    2. Sharing is good for the soul.

    To share things that I don’t normally share with those closest to me is so refreshing. I literally feel like a huge burden is removed.

    3. Stats aren’t everything.

    Self explanatory.

    4. Stream of consciousness writing is my friend.

    If I’m struggling with finding topics, I will sit down with pen and paper and just write whatever comes to mind. While it may seem random, I usually find at least 3-4 possible topics. Score!

    5. My writing style isn’t for everyone.

    In the past, I was too concerned about coming off as too aggressive. At this point, I could care less. I’m not going to be everyone’s favorite and that’s okay.


    Edited May 2, 2015

  • The Complexities of Life

    Comfortably Just Friends

    Embed from Getty Images

    You and I. Best described as friends who subconsciously dip their toes into murky water. When I look back at our history, I laugh. Not as a joke, but in amazement. We’ve come a long way since 7-11 don’t you think? We became pretty good friends, sorta like two magnets in a way. Even when we get caught up in our separate lives, we always manage to find our way back. It’s crazy how we catch up and move right along, never missing a beat.

    In the words of the late Amy Winehouse, “you’re my fellow, my guy”. You make me smile on my absolute worst of days. So much is said when we sit in silence. I’m comfortable in this space, but I’m curious. A small part of me wants to know what would happen if both feet were in that water?

    Would that makes things weird? Some would argue that titles tend to ruin things. I don’t know about you, but dating for me has been exhausting. While potentials may be great, they’re not you. The easiness that I feel around you isn’t there with them. By no means am I blaming you. I’m holding others to a standard that it’s exactly fair. Am I thinking too much into this? Perhaps. Then again, I don’t want to hold out hope for something that just isn’t destined to happen either.

    For now, I’m comfortable being your friend. Murky water optional.


    Edited November 23, 21014





  • The Complexities of Life

    (Im)patiently Waiting

    I was listening to “Those Who Wait” by Daley and my mind started thinking.

    Do good things really come to those who wait?

    The “Tortoise and the Hare” approach that I was taught as a child places emphasis on hard work and persistence. Theoretically this approach pays off, however, there is a slight drawback:  patience is the key to success.

    Yeah…about that. I have an untraceable about of patience. It’s a character flaw that I’m not necessarily proud of, but I accept it. We all have flaws right? In my case, being constantly disappointed by people has left me extremely independent with a zero-tolerance policy for bullsh*t.

    When you want things done at a certain time and in a certain fashion, having to patiently wait on someone to do it can be as pleasant as nails on a chalkboard. Trying to change for the better is difficult, especially when you have to now fill that empty glass of water. The next time I feel the urge to just “do it myself”, I’m just going to quietly sing the song that inspired this post.


    Edited November 23, 2014