Love, Dating, & Relationships

Life on Single Island

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Single Island.

Population: Millions.

Location: Far, far away.

Now accepting long-term visitors.

I’ve been single for a while now and while I would love to have that special someone in my life, I’ve come to terms that it may not happen anytime soon. At this point, I’m more optimistic about gas prices returning to under $3 than I am finding a potential life mate.

Life is rough outside of Single Island.

What is Single Island? It’s an imaginary place where all single people reside. One might describe it as paradise. If two residents meet and want to date, they must immediately leave the island. They are free to return in the event that said relationship fails for any reason.

How awesome would it be if such a place existed? Sign me up!

As a member of several popular online dating sites (names unimportant), I’ve made a lot of observations. The most important one being that there are a lot of truly crazy and weird people out there. If these same people are this way online, who the hell wants to date them in real life?! First impressions mean a lot and online profiles do count. Leading a conversation with your penis will get you blocked and reported as inappropriate.

For now, I happily live my life on Single Island, where is happy hour every single day.

With that in mind, I’ll drink to that.

 

Edited: November 23, 2014

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