• The Recovering Pessimist | Being Special Ain't Enough | www.therecoveringpessimist.me | #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimist
    The Complexities of Life

    Being Special Ain’t Enough

    There was a time where I thought I was going to be the exception. I was going to be the one that inspired them to change their ways. I wasn’t going to put up with the BS like the others before me.  

    I was special.

     

    I wasn’t the exception. I didn’t inspire them to change their ways. I put with their BS (for a short amount of time, but I digress). During this experience, I was reminded of two lessons:

    People have to want to change for themselves. 

    People really do show you who they are. 

    Oftentimes, we tend to ignore what’s in front of us because it interrupts the potential we see in the person. In addition, when someone shows you who they are and you continue to engage with them, how can you then ask them to change? They didn’t need to change when you met them right? 

    Make good choices.

    Until next time,

    Joy

     

     

     

     

     

  • The Complexities of Life

    When EVERYBODY Knows BUT You

    The Recovering Pessimist: When EVERYONE Knows BUT You. -- The worst feeling in the world is realizing that you can't see a situation for what it truly is. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimistSee the forest for the trees.

    When I was a teenager, I didn’t understand this quote. What am I seeing in the forest? What am I seeing in the trees? How does this all tie together? I figured it was one of those things that I wouldn’t figure out until after taking a few bad decisions in my 20s.

    I dated a few guys that weren’t shit. As the girlfriend, I rationalized that they were on hard times and those hard times were not going to last forever. I saw the potential in them, which blindsided me.

    What I failed to see was what everyone around me saw. That the guys I was dating knew that I saw them for their potential and they fed off of it. Those around me told me that these boyfriends weren’t going to do better because I accepted them for who they were now.

    But I couldn’t see that. Seriously, I couldn’t see it. It wasn’t until the last “I see potential in you” guy I dated around 22-24 that I finally understood the quote. I had given ol’ boy literally my last $20 in cash. You know the cash you take out of the ATM on payday in the event that your bank account gets too low to withdraw money from. Yeah, that cash.

    I gave that dude $20 and the next day, I had to drive out-of-town, and guess what? I needed gas. I go through my wallet looking for cash, slowly realizing that the $20 that was there 24 hours ago, is now in the pocket of potential.

    See the forest for the trees.

    Livid would best describe my mood in that moment. What people had told me was beginning to come full circle. I had literally given my last dollars (in cash) to someone who I KNEW wouldn’t do the same. What the hell was wrong with me? How could I have let potential sucker me all this time?

    See the forest for the trees.

    I broke up with him soon after that. Spent a lot of time apologizing to those who tried to warn me. They all said the same thing: You had to see it for yourself. I learned a hard lesson and I’m sharing that lesson with you:

    [bctt tweet=”When people warn you about a situation you’re in, LISTEN TO THEM! ” username=”MsWalton”]

    Just listen to them. Don’t dismiss them. Don’t call them a hater. Listen to them. Everyone isn’t out to get you. Many people want the best for you and can’t stand to see you get hurt. Listen to them. Please.

    Please.

    Until next time,

    MsWalton