Lately, I’ve done a lot of self-reflection. Thinking about the good and bad, more so the bad. In addition to that, I’ve wondered if I ignored red flags that were present. In hindsight, I realized that there were SO, SO many red flags. They were thisclose and yet, I still couldn’t see them.

Why?

I didn’t pay attention.

Honestly, I could kick my own ass for not seeing and hearing what was in front of me. I didn’t pay attention to that ex whose actions showed that he wasn’t honest. I didn’t listen to that friend whose actions showed that she had selfish tendencies.

For me, paying attention is composed of two things:

• Pay attention to the exact words being said. Don’t twist them around to sound like what you want them to sound like.

This took me a long time to figure out. Partially because I was neck-deep in denial (that’s another blog post for another day) and denial is a sonofabitch. When I finally learned to listen to and comprehend the syllables being verbalized, I saved myself a lot of time and heartache.

• Pay attention to what isn’t being said.

For me, non-verbal cues are slightly more important than verbal cues. Reason being is because people will tell you what you want to hear, not what you need to hear. If you find yourself questioning what they’re saying to you, focus on what they aren’t saying.

[bctt tweet=”Oftentimes, the answer to my question and/or the clarity I seek exists in what isn’t being verbally expressed. ” username=”MsWalton”]

Pay attention to what’s being verbally and non-verbally expressed to you. It’ll save you a lot of time and potential headaches in the long run. Trust me.

Until next time,

MsWalton