Third parties are not accepted on checks nor are they acccepted in my life.
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Stealth Support System
A good friend of mine is going through some things. He’s just got himself together after another series of events that shook his core. To see life deal another hand of unfavorable cards to him is truly a test. As a friend, I know that I had to be there to support him. Experience has taught me that sometimes the weight can be too heavy for you to carry alone.
Even if the weight is too heavy, people may feel uncomfortable asking for help. At times, my friend can be like this. Recent events have him in a level 4 (of 5) funk. That’s deep. He’ll internalize whatever emotions he’s feeling, but I can sense that that something is bothering him. Until he is ready to talk, I provide support in a very stealth-like manner.
This type of support is a combination of intuition and a thorough knowledge of that person. If I didn’t know him as well as I do, I wouldn’t be able to know what he needs before he does. It kind of reminds me of a Secret Service. You may not be able to see them, but they’re always there.
Just call me Secret Agent Lucky Lefty.
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Public Service Announcement: Approach Peter Pan with Caution
Responsibility comes with adulthood. For the most part, the majority of adults handle their business. On the other end of the spectrum there are those who refuse to grow up. Similar to Peter Pan, these men are socially immature and devoid of responsibility. Date them at your own risk.
Shit is real on Single Island. With so much to deal with already, who the hell wants to date a man-child? Who deemed that combo sexy?
Why are these men like this?
Allow me to offer my thoughts. The one man-child I encountered had an ex who viewed him as pitiful, resulting in a level of coddling that I find disgusting. Unfortunately in this case, the actions of one woman become a mess for the next one. So much for paying it forward right?
Now that you’ve been informed (or reminded), if recognize Peter Pan-like characteristics in a man, RUN!!!! The only person that can help him with his issues is a licensed professional.
This has been a public service announcement from Single Island.
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Allegiance
Blood relation doesn’t equal allegiance.
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Ornamental Relationships
Last week, I watched the Season 2 premiere of ABC’s “Scandal”. In a heated argument with his wife over her meddling in foreign policy, President Grant said the following with so much anger that it felt like a verbal third degree burn.
“You’re ornamental, not functional.”
It’s harsh, but true. We want to believe that people establish relationships out of a mutual love for one another. While that doesn’t happen, there are those who establish relationships for face value only. I would refer to these relationships as ornamental. I am curious to know how many people are in ornamental relationships and don’t know it. You believe that you’re in this relationship because someone loves and respects you. Are you loved? Are you respected? Material things aren’t symbols of love. As I mentioned in Love Misunderstood, what you have isn’t love. As long as you keep your mouth closed, all is well in your ornamental relationship.
Don’t get me wrong, there are lots of people who are okay with that arrangement. Person A will do whatever it takes to maintain Person B’s role as silent arm candy, trophy wife/husband/girlfriend/boyfriend provided Person B knows their role. If it works for them, who are we to judge? Besides, normal has no blueprint.
The end.
Updated January 1, 2015