The Recovering Pessimist

Helping pessimists see the bright side of life without losing their "half empty" roots.

#Love + Pride = Disaster

Feb
13

 

The Recovering Pessimist: #Love + Pride = Disaster -- Several things have ruined my relationships in the past (e.g., jealousy, lack of trust, etc.). None of those things were as disastrous as pride. You can sense jealousy and lac of trust, but pride is hard to detect. And by the time you detect it, it may be too late. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #mytruthaboutlove #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimist

When people enter into a relationship, a few things should beare understood:

1. Someone else’s wants and needs should be considered as well as yours.

2. You aren’t always going to be right.

3. Your thoughts are feelings aren’t more important than the other party.

Having an understanding of those three things is crucial to the success of the relationship. In addition, pride can ruin your understanding of these things.

There were a few times where I let pride get the best of me. I was so selfish. If it wasn’t about me first, I wasn’t hearing it. I didn’t care about my boyfriend’s feelings enough to make them a priority. When arguments would occur, I was always right…even when I was dead ass wrong.

My selfishness was responsible for many failed relationships. There were a few times where I managed to check myself before things took a hard left, but it was too late to salvage the relationship.

Pride will destroy everything in its path, including your relationship. Click To Tweet

Ain’t that the truth.

Those lessons on pride’s place in relationships were hard, but they were necessary. I have to humble myself when it comes to relationships if I want my future relationship(s) to prosper.

Until next time,

MsWalton

Do U Like Me? Yes, No…

Aug
03

The Recovering Pessimist: Do You Like Me? -- The answer is way more complicated than it was in elementary school. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #optimisticpessimist #recoveringpessimist

Remember those infamous Do U Like Me? notes from middle school? Person A would slip Person B (the middle person) a note to give to Person C (you). It would have Do U Like Me? at the top. Underneath the question are the possible answers Yes and No.

You  checked the box next to applicable answer (or circled the answer), gave the note back to Person B to relay, and waited for a response. We can kiss those simple times goodbye.

Social media and online dating sites create more avenues for people to meet. In theory, this isn’t bad. With more avenues to meet people Yes and No are no longer cut and dry.  It’s Complicated  is now thrown in for a bit of complexity.

It’s Complicated is usually the response when there are other circumstances preventing a cut and dry answer. I’ll use my personal experience to explain.

  • He had a girlfriend, but they were thisclose to breaking up. He wanted to “explore his options” before he broke up with her. You know, just in case the grass wasn’t greener on the other side. *rolls eyes*
  • I was casually dating a guy. While out at happy hour, I had a conversation with a guy about the beers we were drinking. He was really easy to talk to (and it didn’t hurt that he was gorgeous). We exchanged numbers  and talked for days. At some point, he asked me about my relationship status. I was still casually dating the other guy, so I explained that it was complicated. I never heard from him after that conversation.

It’s tough out here on Single Island. You have to weed out the weirdos in order to find the potentials to date. That’s exhausting in and of itself. You finally find one that tickles your fancy just to find out that his relationship status is complicated.

*throws remote across room*

Seriously? Is it really complicated? Or is he/she afraid of letting go of their relationship and starting over? You’re comfortable with that person and the idea of letting them go and starting over is overwhelming. I get it. Been there, done that, and learned a powerful lesson:

You can't move on tethered to dead weight. End your relationship then move on. Click To Tweet

Simple as Yes and No.

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