The Recovering Pessimist

Helping pessimists see the bright side of life without losing their "half empty" roots.

Relationships & The Fine Print

Oct
09

The Recovering Pessimist: Relationships & the Fine Print -- Relationships come with fine print,which is crucial to a relationship's success. When you fail to abide by the fine print, the relationship ends. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimistWhen I enter into a relationship after being single for some time, It’s exciting. I can get caught up in the newness of it all, that I forget the components that comprise the fine print in relationships. I consider these components to be communication, sympathy, etc.:

Relationship participants agree to keep lines of communication open. Participants also agree to be sympathetic to the needs of other participants. Failure to comply with these terms may result in termination of the relationship. Other terms and agreements may apply.

Making the adjustment in your mindset from single to a relationship participant is crucial. I had to change my mindset to meet the needs of my partner. These components create a foundation that’s a requirement for relationship success.

[bctt tweet=”Having a boo thang is cute, but if you want to keep that boo thang, do the work.” username=”MsWalton”]

The moment you disregard the foundation of a relationship is when the relationship fails. And you end up back where you started…single. Keep that in mind.

 

 

 

Online Dating: Observations

Aug
15

Online dating. We see the commercials for popular dating websites such as cough Match.com and eHarmony that feature all of these former residents of Single Island that have found love. Their testimonials are so bubbly in hopes that you too will find that special someone according to.

Insert massive eye roll here

Many dating sites guarantee that you’ll meet your perfect match based on some proven system of algorithms, points, interests, etc. My inner pessimist calls that a load of crap. Too often have I logged on to see that I have a high percentage of matches that meet my criteria. Once I read the profiles, I start to question this alleged proven system.

Some of the observations that have me ringing the BS alarm:

1. Photos say a lot without saying anything.

There ‘s a HUGE difference between a photo taken 5 months ago and a photo taken 5 years ago. How can I take you seriously with a photo taken in 1999? At the same time, who do you think you’re going to attract with no photos?

2. If you ask for it, make sure you have it first.

Sure, we want someone who has their own transportation, living situation, job, etc. Don’t have a list of demands that you aren’t able to fulfill yourself. Asking for a mate to have a car and their own living situation while you’re couch surfing and bus hopping is not attractive.

3.  Don’t pass judgement.

I see this a lot. Too often, I’ll see a profile that specifically states that they’re only interested in a specific race of men/women. This is not the problem since we all have our personal preference. With that in mind, you don’t need to include a paragraph in your profile disrespecting all other races.

4. “I’m not here for sex but…”

Haha, this is hilarious. I can recall seeing a guy’s profile photos and he was naked in every.single.photo. Then, to cap it off, he had the audacity to say that he wasn’t interested in sex. Could have fooled me sir.

First impressions don’t mean squat for many. I’ve deleted and blocked more profiles than I have responded to. If this is what’s out there, I’ll continue to reside on Single Island. There are other things I care more about, like happy hour and football season.

Yes, football season.

Life on Single Island

Aug
06

Single Island.

Population: Millions.

Location: Far, far away.

Now accepting long-term visitors.

I’ve been single for a while now and while I would love to have that special someone in my life, I’ve come to terms that it may not happen anytime soon. At this point, I’m more optimistic about gas prices returning to under $3 than I am finding a potential life mate.

Life is rough outside of Single Island.

What is Single Island? It’s an imaginary place where all single people reside. One might describe it as paradise. If two residents meet and want to date, they must immediately leave the island. They are free to return in the event that said relationship fails for any reason.

How awesome would it be if such a place existed? Sign me up!

As a member of several popular online dating sites (names unimportant), I’ve made a lot of observations. The most important one being that there are a lot of truly crazy and weird people out there. If these same people are this way online, who the hell wants to date them in real life?! First impressions mean a lot and online profiles do count. Leading a conversation with your penis will get you blocked and reported as inappropriate.

For now, I happily live my life on Single Island, where is happy hour every single day.

With that in mind, I’ll drink to that.

 

Edited: November 23, 2014

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