The Recovering Pessimist

Helping pessimists see the bright side of life without losing their "half empty" roots.

Do U Like Me? Yes, No…

Aug
03

The Recovering Pessimist: Do You Like Me? -- The answer is way more complicated than it was in elementary school. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #optimisticpessimist #recoveringpessimist

Remember those infamous Do U Like Me? notes from middle school? Person A would slip Person B (the middle person) a note to give to Person C (you). It would have Do U Like Me? at the top. Underneath the question are the possible answers Yes and No.

You  checked the box next to applicable answer (or circled the answer), gave the note back to Person B to relay, and waited for a response. We can kiss those simple times goodbye.

Social media and online dating sites create more avenues for people to meet. In theory, this isn’t bad. With more avenues to meet people Yes and No are no longer cut and dry.  It’s Complicated  is now thrown in for a bit of complexity.

It’s Complicated is usually the response when there are other circumstances preventing a cut and dry answer. I’ll use my personal experience to explain.

  • He had a girlfriend, but they were thisclose to breaking up. He wanted to “explore his options” before he broke up with her. You know, just in case the grass wasn’t greener on the other side. *rolls eyes*
  • I was casually dating a guy. While out at happy hour, I had a conversation with a guy about the beers we were drinking. He was really easy to talk to (and it didn’t hurt that he was gorgeous). We exchanged numbers  and talked for days. At some point, he asked me about my relationship status. I was still casually dating the other guy, so I explained that it was complicated. I never heard from him after that conversation.

It’s tough out here on Single Island. You have to weed out the weirdos in order to find the potentials to date. That’s exhausting in and of itself. You finally find one that tickles your fancy just to find out that his relationship status is complicated.

*throws remote across room*

Seriously? Is it really complicated? Or is he/she afraid of letting go of their relationship and starting over? You’re comfortable with that person and the idea of letting them go and starting over is overwhelming. I get it. Been there, done that, and learned a powerful lesson:

[bctt tweet=”You can’t move on tethered to dead weight. End your relationship then move on.  “]

Simple as Yes and No.

Public Service Announcement: The Red Lobster Date

Jan
02
Red Lobster Detour

Red Lobster Detour (Photo credit: voteprime)

The restaurant you choose to take a date says a lot. Yes, I do realize that it comes off as vain, but that’s how it is. Take Red Lobster for example. I don’t (and probably will never) understand what’s so charming about this place.  I’ve had better seafood at a backyard cookout.

I remember planning a first date with a guy I was interested in. He asked me where I wanted to go. I didn’t have a particular place in mind, so I named a few places that I didn’t want to go. As soon as I mentioned Red Lobster, ol’ boy got in his feelings.  You would have thought I  told him his mother’s cooking was nasty.

I explained to him that I consider Red Lobster to be the McNightmare of seafood. What would have been spent on mediocre food could be put to better use elsewhere. There are much better options that are well worth the price. He didn’t want to hear it. That was the last time I spoke to him. Guess I struck a nerve. Oh well.

Instead of getting all emo because somebody doesn’t like your fave, why not try something new? Do us all a favor and get some culture in your life.  Endless shrimp are not the blueprint for fine dining.

Thankful: Peacefully Quiet Refuge #XD31

Dec
10

I live alone. After enduring noise all day, all I want to do is to relax in the peacefully quiet refuge that is my home.

At times, it’s a struggle. Peacefully quiet refuge isn’t cheap. On the other hand, I cherish quiet time too much to split rent and utilities in half.

No thank you.

Public Service Announcement: Salutations and Online Dating

Oct
24

Some men have either forgotten their manners or were never taught any. Addressing a woman you don’t know by anything other than “Miss”, “Ms.”, or “Ma’am” will get you verbally throat chopped.

Recently, someone left me a message on a dating site I’m subscribed to. Imagine my disgust when I read the following:

“Hey boo.”

My initial reaction was to go off on this moron. Once I calmed down, I realized that this guy has used this line on other women before and at least one of them thought it was cute. Gross.

If bad behaviors are acceptable by the majority, why correct them? While my fault likes in the man who sent me that mess, I also blame women for not correcting these dudes when they step out of line. If you think being called “boo” by a stranger is acceptable, what else will you accept?

Apparently a whole lot.

Online Dating: Observations

Aug
15

Online dating. We see the commercials for popular dating websites such as cough Match.com and eHarmony that feature all of these former residents of Single Island that have found love. Their testimonials are so bubbly in hopes that you too will find that special someone according to.

Insert massive eye roll here

Many dating sites guarantee that you’ll meet your perfect match based on some proven system of algorithms, points, interests, etc. My inner pessimist calls that a load of crap. Too often have I logged on to see that I have a high percentage of matches that meet my criteria. Once I read the profiles, I start to question this alleged proven system.

Some of the observations that have me ringing the BS alarm:

1. Photos say a lot without saying anything.

There ‘s a HUGE difference between a photo taken 5 months ago and a photo taken 5 years ago. How can I take you seriously with a photo taken in 1999? At the same time, who do you think you’re going to attract with no photos?

2. If you ask for it, make sure you have it first.

Sure, we want someone who has their own transportation, living situation, job, etc. Don’t have a list of demands that you aren’t able to fulfill yourself. Asking for a mate to have a car and their own living situation while you’re couch surfing and bus hopping is not attractive.

3.  Don’t pass judgement.

I see this a lot. Too often, I’ll see a profile that specifically states that they’re only interested in a specific race of men/women. This is not the problem since we all have our personal preference. With that in mind, you don’t need to include a paragraph in your profile disrespecting all other races.

4. “I’m not here for sex but…”

Haha, this is hilarious. I can recall seeing a guy’s profile photos and he was naked in every.single.photo. Then, to cap it off, he had the audacity to say that he wasn’t interested in sex. Could have fooled me sir.

First impressions don’t mean squat for many. I’ve deleted and blocked more profiles than I have responded to. If this is what’s out there, I’ll continue to reside on Single Island. There are other things I care more about, like happy hour and football season.

Yes, football season.

Life on Single Island

Aug
06

Single Island.

Population: Millions.

Location: Far, far away.

Now accepting long-term visitors.

I’ve been single for a while now and while I would love to have that special someone in my life, I’ve come to terms that it may not happen anytime soon. At this point, I’m more optimistic about gas prices returning to under $3 than I am finding a potential life mate.

Life is rough outside of Single Island.

What is Single Island? It’s an imaginary place where all single people reside. One might describe it as paradise. If two residents meet and want to date, they must immediately leave the island. They are free to return in the event that said relationship fails for any reason.

How awesome would it be if such a place existed? Sign me up!

As a member of several popular online dating sites (names unimportant), I’ve made a lot of observations. The most important one being that there are a lot of truly crazy and weird people out there. If these same people are this way online, who the hell wants to date them in real life?! First impressions mean a lot and online profiles do count. Leading a conversation with your penis will get you blocked and reported as inappropriate.

For now, I happily live my life on Single Island, where is happy hour every single day.

With that in mind, I’ll drink to that.

 

Edited: November 23, 2014

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