The Recovering Pessimist

Helping pessimists see the bright side of life without losing their "half empty" roots.

When the Past Reappears

Oct
16

The past has a way of reappearing when you’re doing good for yourself.

For example, when you’re over someone, you may exile them from your life. You block their number so they can’t call/text you and you unfriend them on social media. That exiled person is now a part of your past, and until further notice, the past is where they will stay.

In the meantime, life moves on. You’re out here in the world, being awesome and whatnot. Then one random day, the past reappears.

Oprah/Giphy.com

Oprah/Giphy.com

It could be a text/call from an unknown number, in-person, etc. Regardless of the way the past reappeared, it’s awkward as hell. You cared about that person. You both had some good memories.  You may feel a way about how things ended. Then there’s the desire…to reconnect with that person. sighs That desire makes a huge difference in how you decide to react.

Despite these feelings, you remind myself that I’m done with that person for a reason. And while it might not be a bad thing to consider making them part of your life now, you don’t want to risk it.

[bctt tweet=”The what-ifs aren’t worth the emotional rollercoaster.” username=”MsWalton”]

Until next time,

MsWalton

 

Relationships & The Fine Print

Oct
09

The Recovering Pessimist: Relationships & the Fine Print -- Relationships come with fine print,which is crucial to a relationship's success. When you fail to abide by the fine print, the relationship ends. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimistWhen I enter into a relationship after being single for some time, It’s exciting. I can get caught up in the newness of it all, that I forget the components that comprise the fine print in relationships. I consider these components to be communication, sympathy, etc.:

Relationship participants agree to keep lines of communication open. Participants also agree to be sympathetic to the needs of other participants. Failure to comply with these terms may result in termination of the relationship. Other terms and agreements may apply.

Making the adjustment in your mindset from single to a relationship participant is crucial. I had to change my mindset to meet the needs of my partner. These components create a foundation that’s a requirement for relationship success.

[bctt tweet=”Having a boo thang is cute, but if you want to keep that boo thang, do the work.” username=”MsWalton”]

The moment you disregard the foundation of a relationship is when the relationship fails. And you end up back where you started…single. Keep that in mind.

 

 

 

Clipping Dead Limbs

Sep
11

The Recovering Pessimist: Clipping Dead Limbs -- Trees are pruned to encourage growth. The same applies to people. If you don't cut the dead limbs from your life, you won't continue to grow. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimist

People assume that when you say “I’m fine”, it means that you’re fine as long as they’re in your life. It’s true. When things were good, they were great. Over time, I matured and where I was then wasn’t where I was before.

[bctt tweet=”You can’t always take people with you as you journey through life.” username=”MsWalton”]

I tried to make things work between us. Why? Because I didn’t want to lose them. There were so many years invested in those relationships. My attempts to make it work were positive for a while, then things went sour again.

It took me a minute, but I understood that I had to cut the dead limbs if I wanted to continue to grow. No more visits. Phone calls and texts stopped. Social media connections were disconnected. Something in the matrix shifted. Folks got in their feelings.

“You’ll be back.”

“Oh, you just need some time.”

“I’ll give you some space.”

Many didn’t take me seriously until those days became weeks, weeks became months, and months became years. I can remember folks telling me that it would get better with time and I thought they were crazy. They were right. Things got better. I got used to my new normal and I’m glad I let those people go.

Until next time,

MsWalton

 

Hope #10WordStory

Apr
03

 

The Recovering Pessimist: Hope #10WordStory -- Getting to know a potential mate is a ball of nervous intrigue. Part of you is excited to get to know someone, while the other part is stressed out over all the "what ifs". | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #recoveringpessimist #amwriting #snapshotstoryteller

#Love is Necessary

Feb
27

The Recovering Pessimist: #Love is Necessary -- Each time I encountered Love, I emerged as a better person. Love helped me grow as a person. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimist #mytruthaboutloveThere are two things that come to mind when I think of Love: Happiness and Heartache.

Happiness is an awesome feeling. It feels calming; like a glass of smooth whiskey or a comfy blanket on a chilly evening.

My experiences with heartache ranged from devastation to sad understanding. Heartache hurts, and while I don’t want to experience it, I know that it’s necessary.

Both happiness and heartache are necessary aspects of Love. They taught me lessons which made me a better person.

Love softens me. 

Love gives me hope.

Love humbled me.

[bctt tweet=”I wouldn’t be who I am without Love.” username=”MsWalton”]

 

Until next time,

MsWalton

#Love is Unexpected

Feb
20

The Recovering Pessimist: #Love is Unexpected -- It's been my experience that Love needs to come to me versus me looking for Love. I learned to appreciate the unexpectedness of Love, and I'm grateful for that. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #optimisticpessimist #recoveringpessimist #mytruthaboutlove

While working on the Dear #Love Letter series and #Love: A Musical Retrospective, I realized that there was a recurring theme:

Love works on its own schedule.

You would think this be a “duh” moment, but like many things in my life, I had to figure this one out. I fought Love. I tried so hard to make Love work on my own terms. I planned for it. I did all the work required to invite Love in.

In return, Love laughed at me and delivered a well-needed life lesson:

[bctt tweet=”What you want and what the Universe wants for you aren’t going to line up all the time. ” username=”MsWalton”]

 

Praise/Giphy.com

Praise/Giphy.com

 

When you know better, you do better right?

Until next time,

MsWalton

 

 

 

#Love + Pride = Disaster

Feb
13

 

The Recovering Pessimist: #Love + Pride = Disaster -- Several things have ruined my relationships in the past (e.g., jealousy, lack of trust, etc.). None of those things were as disastrous as pride. You can sense jealousy and lac of trust, but pride is hard to detect. And by the time you detect it, it may be too late. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #mytruthaboutlove #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimist

When people enter into a relationship, a few things should beare understood:

1. Someone else’s wants and needs should be considered as well as yours.

2. You aren’t always going to be right.

3. Your thoughts are feelings aren’t more important than the other party.

Having an understanding of those three things is crucial to the success of the relationship. In addition, pride can ruin your understanding of these things.

There were a few times where I let pride get the best of me. I was so selfish. If it wasn’t about me first, I wasn’t hearing it. I didn’t care about my boyfriend’s feelings enough to make them a priority. When arguments would occur, I was always right…even when I was dead ass wrong.

My selfishness was responsible for many failed relationships. There were a few times where I managed to check myself before things took a hard left, but it was too late to salvage the relationship.

[bctt tweet=”Pride will destroy everything in its path, including your relationship. ” username=”MsWalton”]

Ain’t that the truth.

Those lessons on pride’s place in relationships were hard, but they were necessary. I have to humble myself when it comes to relationships if I want my future relationship(s) to prosper.

Until next time,

MsWalton

#Love is a Winning AND Losing Game

Feb
06

The Recovering Pessimist: Love is a Winning AND Losing Game -- As in life, there are winners and losers when it comes to love, and that is okay. I learned to live in moment versus worrying about when the other shoe in the relationship would fall. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimist #mytruthaboutloveAmy Winehouse was on to something with “Love Is a Losing Game”.

Allow me to explain.

In life, there are losers and winners. The same applies to love.

There are moments where I was a winner in love. Everything was going well in the relationship, I couldn’t stop smiling, and my heart was full of happiness.

At some point, those winning moments turned sour. Frowns and sadness replaced smiles and happiness. The relationship ended. All was not well in my world. I lost.

But it’s okay.

Heartache is an unwanted necessity of life. Instead of wallowing in my broken heart, I learned to remember those moments where I was a winner.

[bctt tweet=”Sometimes losing is inevitable, even in love. ” username=”MsWalton”]

Until next time,

MsWalton

My Truth About #Love

Jan
30

The Recovering Pessimist: My Truth About Love (Intro) -- I don't participate in Valentine's Day (it's a retail holiday, but I digress), however, I wanted to create a themed series about the truths I learned (the hard way) about love. I hope you enjoy! | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimist #mytruthaboutlove

I love writing about love and all of its complexities. Back in 2014 and 2016 I did a themed February series on love. I enjoyed creating the themes and wanted to do it again for 2017.

During my brainstorming sessions, I wanted to do things a bit simpler this year. When I was jotting down my lessons learned for 2016, many of those lessons centered around love.

Which brings me to the “My Truth About #Love” series. This series consists of four truths posted each Monday in February.

I hope you enjoy the series!

 

 

 

 

Warmth #10WordStory

Dec
05

The Recovering Pessimist: Warmth #10WordStory -- This story can be taken several ways. It could be that she's physically and/or emotionally gone. Either way, his attempts to warm her physically and/or emotionally are futile. She's gone. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimist #10WordStory

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