The Recovering Pessimist

Helping pessimists see the bright side of life without losing their "half empty" roots.

Is It Complicated?

Apr
23

The Recovering Pessimist: "Is It Complicated?" -- When a relationship status changes to "It's Complicated", sometimes I wonder if the relationship is complicated by choice, circumstance, or both. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimist

 

Allow me to set the scene.

You’re on Facebook, scrolling through your timeline. You notice that one of your friends has changed their relationship to “It’s Complicated”. At that moment, you may ask yourself the following:

Is it complicated by circumstance?

Is it complicated by choice?

I decided to answer these questions based on my own observations.

Is it complicated by circumstance?

Things could be complicated due to lack of communication. If neither party expresses their expectations, wants, etc., the relationship itself will resemble a car when you take your hands off the wheel. The relationship will run smoothly for a bit but at some point, it will veer off the road.

Is it complicated by choice?

I’ve witnessed people in relationships voluntarily engage in BS for the sheer delight of relishing in chaos. I’ll never understand it, but that’s not my battle to fight. The idea of enjoying a healthy relationship just isn’t appealing to some. I guess that’s okay. Clearly folks like making a mountain out of a molehill.

Are relationships really complicated? Some are, whether it’s by circumstances, choice, or both. What won’t make them any less complicated is letting everyone know that your relationship is complicated. No need to make something more difficult than it is, right?

Take care,

MsWalton

 

 

Do U Like Me? Yes, No…

Aug
03

The Recovering Pessimist: Do You Like Me? -- The answer is way more complicated than it was in elementary school. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #optimisticpessimist #recoveringpessimist

Remember those infamous Do U Like Me? notes from middle school? Person A would slip Person B (the middle person) a note to give to Person C (you). It would have Do U Like Me? at the top. Underneath the question are the possible answers Yes and No.

You  checked the box next to applicable answer (or circled the answer), gave the note back to Person B to relay, and waited for a response. We can kiss those simple times goodbye.

Social media and online dating sites create more avenues for people to meet. In theory, this isn’t bad. With more avenues to meet people Yes and No are no longer cut and dry.  It’s Complicated  is now thrown in for a bit of complexity.

It’s Complicated is usually the response when there are other circumstances preventing a cut and dry answer. I’ll use my personal experience to explain.

  • He had a girlfriend, but they were thisclose to breaking up. He wanted to “explore his options” before he broke up with her. You know, just in case the grass wasn’t greener on the other side. *rolls eyes*
  • I was casually dating a guy. While out at happy hour, I had a conversation with a guy about the beers we were drinking. He was really easy to talk to (and it didn’t hurt that he was gorgeous). We exchanged numbers  and talked for days. At some point, he asked me about my relationship status. I was still casually dating the other guy, so I explained that it was complicated. I never heard from him after that conversation.

It’s tough out here on Single Island. You have to weed out the weirdos in order to find the potentials to date. That’s exhausting in and of itself. You finally find one that tickles your fancy just to find out that his relationship status is complicated.

*throws remote across room*

Seriously? Is it really complicated? Or is he/she afraid of letting go of their relationship and starting over? You’re comfortable with that person and the idea of letting them go and starting over is overwhelming. I get it. Been there, done that, and learned a powerful lesson:

[bctt tweet=”You can’t move on tethered to dead weight. End your relationship then move on.  “]

Simple as Yes and No.

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