My mother always emphasizes the concept of not putting all of your eggs in one basket. It’s one of those nuggets of wisdom that you don’t appreciate until it happens to you. I’m pretty sure you know what I’m talking about.
It’s easy to get excited about the possibility of something that you put ALL of your time and energy into that one thing. All you can think about is that one thing. It just has to happen.
I have been there and done that over and over…
…and over and over again.
You put eggs aside because you don’t know what may or may not happen. In the event that things don’t go as planned, the eggs you set aside will be your calm in a moment of panic.
I got the idea for this blog post from a conversation I had with some family members some time ago. They ask the same questions all the time and I’m sure they mean well when they ask, but bruh, you don’t have to ask me:
When are you getting married?
When are you going to have some kids?
For the record, I have no desire to get married and I never wanted children. Both of those decisions are perfectly fine. However, people legit act like you spit in their eyes with ghost pepper hot sauce.
Seriously, why do YOU feel disrespected?
I often wonder if people feel a way about your life choices because they have regrets. Maybe they wanted to make the moves you’re making but they fell victim to society’s expectations. Regardless of their reasons, you don’t owe them a “why” for the decisions you make. In all honesty, they can kiss your ass, but I digress.
You aren’t going to go through life with everything that you need. At some point, you’re going to have to ask for something. That’s normal. However, when you ask for something, regardless of what it is, be specific.
Did ya’ll catch that up there in the nosebleed section? No? Don’t worry, I’ll repeat it.
When you ask for something, regardless of what it is, be specific.
I cannot stress this enough. If you want a new job with more money, ask for a job with more money. If you just ask for a new job, that’s what you’ll get…a new job with the same money you make now.
For example, if you want a new job with more money, ask for a job with more money. If you just ask for a new job, that’s what you’ll get…a new job with the same money you make now. Or, if you ask for a boyfriend/girlfriend, don’t be shocked with you end up with an asshole. You didn’t ask for a boyfriend/girlfriend that treated you like royalty.
Or, if you ask for a boyfriend/girlfriend, don’t be shocked with you end up with an asshole. You didn’t ask for a boyfriend/girlfriend that treated you like royalty.
[bctt tweet=”You get exactly what you ask for (or don’t ask for) in life. Be wise with how you word your request. ” username=”MsWalton”]
I appreciate Fall for so many reasons (see here and here). It’s a reprieve from the outrageous heat of the Summer. I get to wrap this body in layers of warmth and eat all the soup/stew/chili recipes I have saved on Pinterest. However, it’s also the time of year where people seek potential companions to snuggle up with. Within the pool of potential companions are strays.
What is a stray?
A stray is a man or woman who has nothing but seeks someone who has what they don’t have. They provide little to nothing in return.
I took in a stray once. He had a full-time job, lived with his brother, and “circumstances” prevented him from owning a vehicle (feel free to read between the lines there). Did I mention that he had a set of twins plus another child that were only months apart in age (yes, you read that right)?
That’s a lot, but it wasn’t enough for me to walk away. Keep reading.
In the beginning, I didn’t mind doing the driving. I would pick him up from work and take him to either his brother’s place or mine.
[bctt tweet=”When the newness of love wears off, you see people and things for who and what they truly are.” username=”MsWalton”]
In his case, it was his financial situation that tipped the scales for me. He tended to spend his money on wants, not needs. This particular evening I picked him up from work. He got in the car and didn’t say much most of the ride. After some prodding, he tells me that he lost his part of the rent money on a game he gambled on.
I was livid for all the reasons. He then said that when he told his brother about the loss, his brother put him out. There’s this awkward silence in the car, that’s broken when he asked me if he could stay with me until he got himself together.
I told him I would think about it. I dropped him off at his mother’s and went home. Realizing that his situation was quickly becoming MY situation, I packed up the little belongings he had at my apartment and took them to his mother’s house later that night. I dropped that duffel bag on her front step with a note telling him that I didn’t want to continue our relationship and that he didn’t need to contact me…ever. That was almost a decade ago and so far, I haven’t heard from him.
I’m sharing this moment of my life because I want you to pay attention. Allow yourself to see what’s being presented to you in that moment and act accordingly. Falling for potential can get you wrapped up in some bullsh!t, trust me.
There’s something about waking up each day to a “Good morning” text message from someone you like/love. It makes me smile and (briefly) warms the frigid borders of my heart. Gives me all the feels. Puts a little pep in my step.
However, there’s a catch to the “Good morning” text, and it’s rooted in motive. When sending a “Good morning” text, two questions should come to mind:
Am I sending the text because I care?
Am I sending the text because I feel that I’m obligated to do so?
Once you work out the motive, you move to the second phases: the follow-through. Once you send the “Good morning” text, make sure to do the following:
Ask him/her how he/she is doing.
Tell him/her to have a good day/evening/night.
[bctt tweet=”If you care about someone, it should show in your actions. ” username=”MsWalton”]
Also, when someone shows you who they are…even if it’s in a text message, believe them. If they don’t care enough to make text messages count, do you really want to invest more time and/or energy to get to know this person?
For the last couple of days, I’ve had this clip from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air stuck in my head:
I have no idea why I’ve been singing that song, however, singing that song made something click. People have these moments all the time. You meet someone that looks and/or acts one way. You invest feelings and time with this person and see a possible relationship/friendship developing.
Cue the okey doke.
What you initially thought about that person starts to blur. Perhaps the physical thing(s) that drew you in was only temporary. That car may have been a rental or that big booty was a pair of butt pads. Or the behaviors that you thought were so redeeming were indeed a lie. Weekly volunteer work at the homeless shelter was not voluntary. In fact, it was part of their probation.
When the truth is revealed about the basement acquaintance, I’m sure you’ll be pissed. However, you can always watch the clip above and laugh the anger away.
Pic Beggar (n): An individual who aggressively asks another individual for pictures. Most often seen on online dating websites.
There were several instances when a guy would send me a message asking me to send him a photo of myself via text message. Keep in mind that we’ve only known each other for 15 minutes. That’s not even long enough for me to warrant giving out my Google Voice number.
I would respond back, telling him that I have x amount of recent photos on my profile and will not be texting him anything. Of course, that doesn’t go over well. He gets upset and proceeds to beg.
Begging is not attractive as it is. Begging for a damn photo is annoyingly desperate and every bit of creepy. Besides, most of the time, these guys would either have one photo of themselves or several outdated photos of themselves. Stop begging and take some recent photos of yourself. I don’t take anyone seriously with photos from the late 90s early 2000s on their profiles.
Never entertain pic beggars! If they’re annoying you now, just imagine how annoying they will be if you date them.
Declining to vote is your choice. The thoughts/ideas/opinions of others shouldn’t influence your decision. However, when your sense of normalcy changes, remember that your voice is silenced for the next four years.
Some men have either forgotten their manners or were never taught any. Addressing a woman you don’t know by anything other than “Miss”, “Ms.”, or “Ma’am” will get you verbally throat chopped.
Recently, someone left me a message on a dating site I’m subscribed to. Imagine my disgust when I read the following:
My initial reaction was to go off on this moron. Once I calmed down, I realized that this guy has used this line on other women before and at least one of them thought it was cute. Gross.
If bad behaviors are acceptable by the majority, why correct them? While my fault likes in the man who sent me that mess, I also blame women for not correcting these dudes when they step out of line. If you think being called “boo” by a stranger is acceptable, what else will you accept?