The Recovering Pessimist

Helping pessimists see the bright side of life without losing their "half empty" roots.

Public Service Announcement: Beware of Strays!

Nov
07

I appreciate Fall for so many reasons (see here and here). It’s a reprieve from the outrageous heat of the Summer. I get to wrap this body in layers of warmth and eat all the soup/stew/chili recipes I have saved on Pinterest. However, it’s also the time of year where people seek potential companions to snuggle up with. Within the pool of potential companions are strays.

What is a stray?

A stray is a man or woman who has nothing but seeks someone who has what they don’t have. They provide little to nothing in return.  

Story time!

I took in a stray once. He had a full-time job, lived with his brother, and “circumstances” prevented him from owning a vehicle (feel free to read between the lines there). Did I mention that he had a set of twins plus another child that were only months apart in age (yes, you read that right)?

That’s a lot, but it wasn’t enough for me to walk away. Keep reading.

In the beginning, I didn’t mind doing the driving. I would pick him up from work and take him to either his brother’s place or mine.

When the newness of love wears off, you see people and things for who and what they truly are. Click To Tweet

In his case, it was his financial situation that tipped the scales for me. He tended to spend his money on wants, not needs. This particular evening I picked him up from work. He got in the car and didn’t say much most of the ride. After some prodding, he tells me that he lost his part of the rent money on a game he gambled on.

*rolls eyes*

I was livid for all the reasons. He then said that when he told his brother about the loss, his brother put him out. There’s this awkward silence in the car, that’s broken when he asked me if he could stay with me until he got himself together.

Claire Huxtable/Giphy.com

Claire Huxtable/Giphy.com

I told him I would think about it. I dropped him off at his mother’s and went home. Realizing that his situation was quickly becoming MY situation, I packed up the little belongings he had at my apartment and took them to his mother’s house later that night. I dropped that duffel bag on her front step with a note telling him that I didn’t want to continue our relationship and that he didn’t need to contact me…ever. That was almost a decade ago and so far, I haven’t heard from him.

I’m sharing this moment of my life because I want you to pay attention. Allow yourself to see what’s being presented to you in that moment and act accordingly. Falling for potential can get you wrapped up in some bullsh!t, trust me.

Until next time,

MsWalton

 

 

 

Public Service Announcement: “Good Morning” Texts

Aug
22

The Recovering Pessimist: Public Service Announcement: The "Good Morning" Text -- I love getting a "good morning" text from someone I like/love. However, when that's the beginning and end of the daily conversation, there's a problem. And that problem is HUGE! | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimist

There’s something about waking up each day to a “Good morning” text message from someone you like/love. It makes me smile and (briefly) warms the frigid borders of my heart. Gives me all the feels. Puts a little pep in my step.

However, there’s a catch to the “Good morning” text, and it’s rooted in motive. When sending a “Good morning” text, two questions should come to mind:

  • Am I sending the text because I care?

OR

  • Am I sending the text because I feel that I’m obligated to do so?
Winnie the Pooh/giphy.com

Winnie the Pooh/giphy.com

Once you work out the motive, you move to the second phases: the follow-through. Once you send the “Good morning” text, make sure to do the following:

  • Ask him/her how he/she is doing.
  • Tell him/her to have a good day/evening/night.
Winnie the Pooh/giphy.com

Winnie the Pooh/giphy.com

If you care about someone, it should show in your actions. Click To Tweet

Also, when someone shows you who they are…even if it’s in a text message, believe them. If they don’t care enough to make text messages count, do you really want to invest more time and/or energy to get to know this person?

Barack Obama/giphy.com

Barack Obama/giphy.com

Until next time,

MsWalton

 

Public Service Announcement: Don’t Speak About What You Don’t Understand

Sep
15

Image via Flickr.

People have a tendency to speak without thinking. Nothing has made this more evident than Michael Brown’s shooting in Ferguson, the death of Robin Williams by suicide, and Ray Rice being suspended indefinitely from the NFL after video surfaced of him punching his then-fiancée in the face.

I understand that everyone has an opinion. My issue is when folks fail to consider the faintest possibility that this could happen to them.

Here are a few things I’ve heard in recent months on regards to the above events:

The police won’t shoot you without reason. He had to have done something to provoke the officer.

How can you just hang yourself? That’s selfish. I could never do that.

I wouldn’t stay around if my boyfriend/fiancé/husband hit me. Why did she stay? Why did she marry him? I bet it was the money that made her stay. She probably provoked him to him her.

That’s just a taste of the ignorance I’ve read and/or heard. People speak and/or type these opinion in a public space and have no clue who’s around to hear it.

There’s a point when opinions can easily become ignorant commentary. Please refrain from speaking about what you know nothing about.

End of transmission

Public Service Announcement: The Basement Acquaintance

Jun
09

For the last couple of days, I’ve had this clip from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air stuck in my head:

I have no idea why I’ve been singing that song, however, singing that song made something click. People have these moments all the time. You meet someone that looks and/or acts one way. You invest feelings and time with this person and see a possible relationship/friendship developing.

Cue the okey doke.

What you initially thought about that person starts to blur. Perhaps the physical thing(s) that drew you in was only temporary.  That car may have been a rental or that big booty was a pair of butt pads. Or the behaviors that you thought were so redeeming were indeed a lie. Weekly volunteer work at the homeless shelter was not voluntary. In fact, it was part of their probation.

When the truth is revealed about the basement acquaintance, I’m sure you’ll be pissed. However, you can always watch the clip above and laugh the anger away.

“I’m stuck in a basement, sitting on a tricycle…”

 

 

 

Public Service Announcement: Pic Beggars

Jan
06

Image via www.huffpost.com

Pic Beggar (n): An individual who aggressively asks another individual for pictures. Most often seen on online dating websites.

There were several instances when a guy would send me a message asking me to send him a photo of myself via text message. Keep in mind that we’ve only known each other for 15 minutes. That’s not even long enough for me to warrant giving out my Google Voice number. 

I would respond back, telling him that I have x amount of recent photos on my profile and will not be texting him anything. Of course, that doesn’t go over well. He gets upset and proceeds to beg.

Begging is not attractive as it is. Begging for a damn photo is annoyingly desperate and every bit of creepy. Besides, most of the time, these guys would either have one photo of themselves or several outdated photos of themselves. Stop begging and take some recent photos of yourself. I don’t take anyone seriously with photos from the late 90s early 2000s on their profiles.

Never entertain pic beggars! If they’re annoying you now, just imagine how annoying they will be if you date them.

This concludes your Public Service Announcement.

Public Service Announcement: Your Choice

Nov
06

Declining to vote is your choice. The thoughts/ideas/opinions of others shouldn’t influence your decision. However, when your sense of normalcy changes, remember that your voice is silenced for the next four years.

That is all.

Public Service Announcement: Salutations and Online Dating

Oct
24

Some men have either forgotten their manners or were never taught any. Addressing a woman you don’t know by anything other than “Miss”, “Ms.”, or “Ma’am” will get you verbally throat chopped.

Recently, someone left me a message on a dating site I’m subscribed to. Imagine my disgust when I read the following:

“Hey boo.”

My initial reaction was to go off on this moron. Once I calmed down, I realized that this guy has used this line on other women before and at least one of them thought it was cute. Gross.

If bad behaviors are acceptable by the majority, why correct them? While my fault likes in the man who sent me that mess, I also blame women for not correcting these dudes when they step out of line. If you think being called “boo” by a stranger is acceptable, what else will you accept?

Apparently a whole lot.

Public Service Announcement: Break Time

Oct
18

I’m going on a dating hiatus.

Before you curse me for ruining your day, allow me to explain. I’m stepping back from taking an active role in the dating scene. If I meet someone, great. If I don’t, whatever. The train wrecks I’ve encountered thus far have irritated my spirit to no end. At this point, I don’t have the patience to endure another round of “getting to know you”. I need a break. Don’t worry, I’ll have plenty of tales to bring you from Single Island.

On that note, I’m out!

%d bloggers like this: