• The Recovering Pessimist | Being Special Ain't Enough | www.therecoveringpessimist.me | #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimist
    The Complexities of Life

    Being Special Ain’t Enough

    There was a time where I thought I was going to be the exception. I was going to be the one that inspired them to change their ways. I wasn’t going to put up with the BS like the others before me.  

    I was special.

     

    I wasn’t the exception. I didn’t inspire them to change their ways. I put with their BS (for a short amount of time, but I digress). During this experience, I was reminded of two lessons:

    People have to want to change for themselves. 

    People really do show you who they are. 

    Oftentimes, we tend to ignore what’s in front of us because it interrupts the potential we see in the person. In addition, when someone shows you who they are and you continue to engage with them, how can you then ask them to change? They didn’t need to change when you met them right? 

    Make good choices.

    Until next time,

    Joy

     

     

     

     

     

  • The Complexities of Life

    Dating the Representative

    The Recovering Pessimist | Dating the Representative | www.therecoveringpessimist.me | #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimist
    Photo by Joanna Kosinska on Unsplash

    Dating involves the full spectrum of emotion. You’re meeting someone you don’t really know. You’re intrigued by what you see hear, but also fearful because there’s so much you haven’t seen or heard.

    I refer to this as “Dating the Representative”.

    There’s no guarantee that the person you’re dating is showing their genuine self. There’s nothing wrong with that. We have our guards up. You don’t know what anyone’s intentions are. So, you show the best parts of yourself, including their potential.

    Over time, you hope that the representative will eventually reveal their true selves. Be more vulnerable. Share their hopes, their fears. But, this doesn’t always happen. Some representatives are in it for the long game. They make it to marriage and then…then is when their true selves come out.

    Here’s the thing.

    Enjoy getting to know someone. Have deep conversations. Learn about each other. See things for what they are in the moment, but don’t ignore the signs. Ask questions.

    Until next time,

    Joy

  • The Recovering Pessimist: The Problem with Potential -- You can see someone for who they can become, yet still see them for who they are in the moment. On the flip side, you can ONLY see someone for who they are and nothing else. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimist
    The Complexities of Life

    The Problem with Potential

    Disclaimer: I went back and forth regarding the length of this post. Part of me kinda wanted to make it a normal-length post, but when tried to make a longer post, it didn’t feel right. So here it is, simple and to the point. I hope you enjoy it.

    There are two sides to potential:

    One, you can see the potential in someone and still see them for who they are in the moment. That’s the ideal side of the coin to be on.

    Two, you ONLY see someone for what they could be. Even worse, your interaction with that person is based on their potential, versus who they are right now.

    After much heartache (and lost time that I can’t get back), when it comes to potential, it’s best to see someone for who they are right now because if they don’t reach their potential, you can save yourself a lot of time and heartache.

    [tweetshare tweet=”Fall for people for who they are now versus who they could be. What if they never become that person? ” username=”2n$28p1ijG!jkr6qAqbM5JM&XPcH%QfD:1:0″]