• The Recovering Pessimist | Rip Off the Bandage | www.therecoveringpessimist.me | #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimist
    The Complexities of Life

    Rip Off the Bandage

    There’s a difference between helping someone & someone depending on you for help.

    We can’t do it all on our own. At some point, we’re going to need to seek some sort of help (e.g., financial, encouragement, time, etc.). Understandable.

    However…

    …there are times when you get tired of someone expecting you to help them. It’s happened to me several times. I felt conflicted because I didn’t want them to struggle but I also didn’t want to help them out anymore.

    I ripped off the bandage.

    I had to have a Come to Jesus meeting with them to explain that I was no longer going to help them out. I wish I could tell you that the person was receptive, but that would be a lie. They were pissed. Probably are still pissed to this day.

    Nothing lasts forever, including depending on others.

    Until next time,

    Joy

     

     

  • The Recovering Pessimist | Disconnect from Chaos | www.therecoveringpessimist.me | #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optmisticpessimist
    The Complexities of Life

    Disconnect from Chaos

    Folks are drawn to chaos like moths to a damn flame. Drama and shenanigans join forces to create this overwhelming emotional wildfire that gets folks going. Tickles their fancies. They thrive off of it.

    Chaotic people will drain you of your time and energy. They leave their issues on your doorstep expecting you to solve them. It’s exhausting. I remember telling people that I don’t want to hear about the same issues over and over again because they have no intention of resolving their issues.

    Why? Resolving their issues would end the chaos that they love.

    You know what else would end the chaos?

    Disconnecting yourself from the chaos. This can be done in two ways:

    1. Have a conversation with the chaotic person. Let them know that you want them in your life (assuming you want to keep them in your life), but you want NO parts of the madness they thrive off of.
    2. Cut the person from your life. I’ve done this after I had the conversation and the person continued to bring their mess to my doorstep. I’m only going to tell you one time. If you do it again, it’s over.

    Neither option is easy, but peace of mind is worth it.

    Until next time,

    Joy