The Recovering Pessimist

Helping pessimists see the bright side of life without losing their "half empty" roots.

A.S.S. (Always Something Syndrome)

Jun
12

There are some people that always seem to have something going on with them. It’s dramatic. To make things worse, it appears that many of them enjoy the drama. It’s so widespread that I decided that it needs a name: Always Something Syndrome, or A.S.S. for short.

 

Nene Leakes/Giphy.com

Nene Leakes/Giphy.com

 

I keep people who suffer from A.S.S. at arm’s length or I cut them off completely. Not because I don’t care about them, but because they’re draining. Those particular folks had a tendency to create situations that in turn created drama. They kept this drama going for no reason whatsoever just so they could whine about it to whoever would listen.

I entertained it for a while because I cared about them. I wanted the vbest for them, but as you and I both know, you can’t want it for them more than they want it for themselves. They know that the drama can be resolved. However, if they resolve it, they don’t have anything else to talk about. And if they don’t have anything to talk about, folks stop paying attention to them.

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Until next time,

MsWalton

 

 

 

I Let PRIDE Get the Best of Me

Mar
09

The Recovering Pessimist:I gave PRIDE too much power. In fact, it was so powerful that I refer to it in ALL CAPS.

PRIDE constantly reminded me that asking for help was a sign of weakness. So instead I quietly carried the weight of the issues that burdened me.

Looking back, that was an incredibly stupid decision. I allowed PRIDE to keep me  from asking the questions that could help me accomplish my goals. Here’s the thing about PRIDE:

PRIDE will forever have you on the outside looking in. Click To Tweet

You can allow PRIDE to steer your life, but in the process, you’ll be on the outside looking in. Reclaim the power that PRIDE has taken from you and stop carrying the burdens alone.

Ask for help. It’s there for a reason.

Live Today

Feb
16

The Recovering Pessimist: Live Today

I’ve been dealing with a very stressful situation for a few months. Anxiety left my stomach in knots worrying about all the “what if” possibilities. Oh and sleeping? Practically non-existent.

When I’m in the middle of a shit storm, the Universe will always send me a sign that things aren’t as bad as you think they are. This time was no different.

One morning, my sister sent me a text consisting of two words:

Live Today

While the text was short, those two words meant the world to me at that moment. Sometimes, we get so caught up in our shit we forget day turns to night. That text was a reminder for me to get out of my head, inhale deeply, and slowly exhale.

Repeat as needed.

 

 

 

 

 

Who’s Gonna Save YOU?

Feb
09

 

The Recovering Pessimist: Who's Gonna Save YOU?On Season 4, Episode 10 of  “Scandal“, Olivia (played by Kerry Washington) is in some unknown location after being kidnapped in the previous episode. Despite being held against her will, she still manages to attempt to “fix” the person that’s in the same cell that she is in. Later in the episode, she’s dreaming that Jake (played by Scott Foley) saves her when in reality, she realizes that despite being able to save others, she’s going to have to save herself if she wants to get away from her kidnappers.

As I watched the episode, I got inspired. Back in the day, I couldn’t stand to see the people in my life suffer. I would do whatever I could to save them (sometimes to my detriment) because that’s what I was taught.

But see, the problem with saving everyone else is that there’s no guarantee that somebody is going to be there to save you. I would reach out to people, including those I had previously saved, just to be let down. I don’t expect folks to come to my aid, however, when it’s the person who previously helped you asking for help, you need to help them. Pay it forward, you know?

My mother always says that you find out who people really are when you ask them for help. I didn’t understand what she meant until it happened to me. As usual, she was right. Yet another painful lesson I had to learn.

 

 

Caution: We’re All Works in Progress

Feb
02

Allow me to set the scene. The Recovering Pessimist:- Caution: We're All Works in ProgressYou’re out and about when s someone catches your eye. Nerves are brushed aside as the two of you have a brief conversation. Phone numbers (and possibly social media handles) are exchanged. Hours are spent texting, calling, emailing, and/or posting social media updates. You really, really like this person.

In theory, this sounds great. Seriously, who doesn’t want to find that person that tickles your fancy? I honestly can’t think of anyone that doesn’t. However, like some theories, there’s a problem with the execution. In this case, said problem began weeks ago.

The person that you’re attracted to is working towards accomplishing something (entrepreneur, college graduate, etc). But you don’t see them for the person they are now. Instead, you’re attracted to the person that they’re trying to become.

I’ve seen this happen too many times. People will get with folks for the end goal, whatever that may be. They’ll stay around provided that the person of interest becomes the person their working towards. In the even that said person of interest doesn’t become that person, suddenly he/she isn’t as attractive as they once were.

We’re all works in progress, every last one of us, including you. Solely seeing someone for their potential won’t end well, I promise you.

 

Updated March 6, 2015

Pep Talk to Self #1

Jan
26

The Recovering Pessimist: Pep Talk #1Recently, I got incredibly overwhelmed with a task that was time-sensitive. After several hours of anxiety and stress, I gave myself a pep talk. The following is a snippet of what I said to myself.

This is due in 21 days. And it’s 15 pages long. Plus I need to provide documentation. That’s a lot of paper. I have to mail this?? Postage is going to be a sonofabitch. I can’t wait for this to be over. When am I going to get this shit done?? stares at pile of documentation I’m going to need black printer ink. I need a drink and by drink I mean whiskey. looks at clock It’s only 9 in the morning. Oh well, it’s 5 p.m. somewhere right? Ink is going to cost about $30 unless I can price match it. I would buy a printer with expensive ink. 

screams

Stop bitching. It has to be done. looks at calendar I have time to get this done. Don’t want to wait until the last minute. What can I knock out first? Perhaps I should write down all the things I need to do to get this done and only do one task a day. pats self on back Smart idea and I can maintain my sanity. You’re so smart.

It’s amazing how clear my mind was after I had that pep talk with myself. Whatever it takes for you to get it done, DO IT! I don’t care how absolutely ridiculous it may look and/or feel.

Random Thought #10: Self-Support

Jan
19

The Recovering Pessimist: Random Thought 10: Self SupportI’ve been sharing my dreams of self-employment with the important people in my life. Each time I tell them I’m tired of making other people rich, they question how I plan on making my dreams happen. I share my ideas with them and they’re so, so quick to dismiss me.

What about retirement?

What about health care?

Will you make enough money to pay your bills?

It’s frustrating to hear these questions over and over, as if I haven’t already considered the answers. I don’t think that people realize that by asking their questions, they’re inadvertently projecting their fears onto me. It reminds me of the old saying “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”

Newsflash, I have fears. I don’t need you to ask me about what I already know. I promise you I didn’t just wake up one day and decide I’m going to quit my job. I’m still planning my moves, but understand that I’m motivated enough to take the risks to make my dreams come true. This cubicle life that so many deem secure is not the life for me.

Having a support system is great. I just wish people understood that they don’t have to understand my dreams in order to support them. I understand their concerns, however, I don’t want to encounter a barrage of questions. If they don’t believe me, great. I thoroughly enjoy proving the doubters wrong.

Don’t believe me? Just watch.

 

 

 

The (Ir)Regular Cadence of Life

Jan
12

MY normal YOUR normal

When I was in middle school, I played the clarinet in concert band.  My music teacher taught us so much about musical concepts. She also stressed that several music concepts are applicable outside of the classroom.

Cadence is one of those applicable concepts. Our lives are comprised of cadences. There are times when the rhythms are up and times when the rhythms are down.

These rhythms also vary from person to person. No two people are the same, and what I consider normal isn’t considered normal to you. There’s no need to compare yourself to others.

What music class taught me was that while we are part of the band, we are individuals first. That’s the beauty of life. Each of us contribute something to the world. If all of our cadences were the same, just imagine how terribly boring the world would be.

I cringe at the thought of it.

It’s Okay To Tap Out, I Promise

Jan
05

A couple of months ago, I was chatting with my sister about the upcoming add/drop deadline for her nursing classes. During the conversation, she told me that one of her professors spoke to the class about low test scores. The professor explained to the class that she wouldn’t view the students as failures if they withdrew now and returned to the program when they were ready.

In the past, when I realized that I should bow out of a situation, pride got in the way. It took a lot of failures, before it became a lesson learned. Now that I know better, I reassure myself by saying:

It’s okay to tap out, I promise.

There’s nothing wrong with tapping out. When you’re ready, reevaluate the situation with a clear mind.

Have you found yourself needing to tap out? Let’s discuss in the comments.

 

 

Letting Go in 2015

Dec
29

Fed Up

In the midst of planning for 2015, I came across a suggestion that people should have a theme for the year. A short word/phrase that keeps you motivated and on task for the entire year. I made a note to think about a theme for 2015 and continued with my day.

As always, inspiration hits me in the oddest of places. While washing my hands, my subconscious whispered in my ear…

…LET THAT SHIT GO!

There was my theme for 2015. Brilliant!

For me to accomplish all the things in my mind map, I have to let go of whatever doesn’t do the following:

  • Make me happy.
  • Contribute to my goals/wants.
  • Support my values.

Have you considered creating a theme for 2015? If so, what is it? Let’s discuss in the comments!

 

 

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