• The Complexities of Life

    Unpack Your Baggage

    The Recovering Pessimist | Unpack Your Baggage | www.therecoveringpessimist.me | #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimistWe all have baggage. The amount of baggage we carry ranges from person to person. The same can be said for how we choose to unpack our baggage. Some of us unpack with therapy, journaling, etc. It’s not easy, but it necessary. And some of us…well, some of us choose to not unpack.



    Acknowledging that you have baggage is one hurdle. Acknowledging that you need to unpack that baggage is another hurdle. It’s easier to ignore both hurdles and allow the baggage to accumulate. The problem with that is that over time, the baggage will get too heavy for you to carry & you’ll have to unpack your baggage before you’re ready.

    There’s a better way.

    You don’t have to unpack everything all at once. Unpack a little at a time. Work at a pace that manageable for you so you won’t get overwhelmed. Reflect on your progress. Repeat. There are going to be some tough times during the journey. Be gentle with yourself.

    Until next time,




  • The Recovering Pessimist: Separate Your Eggs -- Even if you feel that you don't need it, having some eggs set aside will save you in a moment of panic. Trust me. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimist
    The Complexities of Life

    Separate Your Eggs

    My mother always emphasizes the concept of not putting all of your eggs in one basket. It’s one of those nuggets of wisdom that you don’t appreciate until it happens to you. I’m pretty sure you know what I’m talking about.

    Keri Hilson/Giphy.com
    Keri Hilson/Giphy.com

    It’s easy to get excited about the possibility of something that you put ALL of your time and energy into that one thing. All you can think about is that one thing. It just has to happen.

    I have been there and done that over and over…

    …and over and over again.

    You put eggs aside because you don’t know what may or may not happen. In the event that things don’t go as planned, the eggs you set aside will be your calm in a moment of panic.

    Stay true,



  • The Complexities of Life


    The Recovering Pessimist: CTRL | ALT| DELETE -- It's amazing how looking at three keyboard keys applies to real life. We have CONTROL over who and what are allowed into our personal space. We can ALTERNATE our habits to allow for more spontaneity. DELETE who and what drains you of your energy. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimistI use the CTRL, ALT, and DELETE keys daily. Nothing special. One day at work, something clicked while using those keys to lock my PC.

    These keys apply to real life. 

    It sounds a tinge ridiculous but here’s my explanation:

    CTRL – Control your personal space.

    I talk about personal space (see here, here, and here) often because it’s that important. Guarding the people and/or things that enter your personal space is a key component of self-care (see here, here, and here). Trust me on this one.

    ALT – Alternate your habits.

    I’m a creature of habit. Most of my habits aren’t time-specific, but I still have to do them. The problem with habits is that you miss out on experiences and moments. Loosen up a bit. Figure out a way to alternate your habits so you can still enjoy the spontaneity of life.

    DELETE – Remove who and/or what’s unnecessary.

    Purge things from your home that you have no use for. Drop the people who drain you of your energy. Goodness can’t come into your life if you have negativity surrounding you.

    Until next time,


  • The Complexities of Life

    Take Your Time

    The Recovering Pessimist: Take Your Time -- Don't let society's expectations dictate how you live your life. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimistI was on Instagram the other day and saw a post that asked “If you could give your younger self a piece of advice, what would it be?”

    Take your time.

    Society still has these standards that dictate that you should work towards career and/or family and have it by a certain time in your life. I somewhat understand why these standards originated, but times have changed, and so have people.

    You don’t have to date with the hopes of finding someone to marry.

    You don’t have to get married.

    You don’t have to have children.

    If it happens, it happens.

    [bctt tweet=”Life doesn’t start nor end because you didn’t meet society’s expectations.” username=”MsWalton”]

    People won’t understand it. They’ll call you crazy, selfish, and stubborn. It’ll hurt your feelings, but don’t let their words discourage you. In fact, you’ll lose some people along the way, but that happens as you grow.

    [bctt tweet=”Don’t get so caught up in expectations that you forget to live.” username=”MsWalton”]

    You got this.



  • The Complexities of Life

    A.S.S. (Always Something Syndrome)

    There are some people that always seem to have something going on with them. It’s dramatic. To make things worse, it appears that many of them enjoy the drama. It’s so widespread that I decided that it needs a name: Always Something Syndrome, or A.S.S. for short.


    Nene Leakes/Giphy.com
    Nene Leakes/Giphy.com


    I keep people who suffer from A.S.S. at arm’s length or I cut them off completely. Not because I don’t care about them, but because they’re draining. Those particular folks had a tendency to create situations that in turn created drama. They kept this drama going for no reason whatsoever just so they could whine about it to whoever would listen.

    I entertained it for a while because I cared about them. I wanted the vbest for them, but as you and I both know, you can’t want it for them more than they want it for themselves. They know that the drama can be resolved. However, if they resolve it, they don’t have anything else to talk about. And if they don’t have anything to talk about, folks stop paying attention to them.

    [bctt tweet=”Don’t allow sufferers of A.S.S. to bring you down. Say “NOOOO” to the dramatics.” username=”MsWalton”]

    Until next time,





  • The Complexities of Life

    I Let PRIDE Get the Best of Me

    The Recovering Pessimist:I gave PRIDE too much power. In fact, it was so powerful that I refer to it in ALL CAPS.

    PRIDE constantly reminded me that asking for help was a sign of weakness. So instead I quietly carried the weight of the issues that burdened me.

    Looking back, that was an incredibly stupid decision. I allowed PRIDE to keep me  from asking the questions that could help me accomplish my goals. Here’s the thing about PRIDE:

    [bctt tweet=”PRIDE will forever have you on the outside looking in. “]

    You can allow PRIDE to steer your life, but in the process, you’ll be on the outside looking in. Reclaim the power that PRIDE has taken from you and stop carrying the burdens alone.

    Ask for help. It’s there for a reason.

  • The Complexities of Life

    Live Today

    The Recovering Pessimist: Live Today

    I’ve been dealing with a very stressful situation for a few months. Anxiety left my stomach in knots worrying about all the “what if” possibilities. Oh and sleeping? Practically non-existent.

    When I’m in the middle of a shit storm, the Universe will always send me a sign that things aren’t as bad as you think they are. This time was no different.

    One morning, my sister sent me a text consisting of two words:

    Live Today

    While the text was short, those two words meant the world to me at that moment. Sometimes, we get so caught up in our shit we forget day turns to night. That text was a reminder for me to get out of my head, inhale deeply, and slowly exhale.

    Repeat as needed.






  • The Complexities of Life

    Who’s Gonna Save YOU?


    The Recovering Pessimist: Who's Gonna Save YOU?On Season 4, Episode 10 of  “Scandal“, Olivia (played by Kerry Washington) is in some unknown location after being kidnapped in the previous episode. Despite being held against her will, she still manages to attempt to “fix” the person that’s in the same cell that she is in. Later in the episode, she’s dreaming that Jake (played by Scott Foley) saves her when in reality, she realizes that despite being able to save others, she’s going to have to save herself if she wants to get away from her kidnappers.

    As I watched the episode, I got inspired. Back in the day, I couldn’t stand to see the people in my life suffer. I would do whatever I could to save them (sometimes to my detriment) because that’s what I was taught.

    But see, the problem with saving everyone else is that there’s no guarantee that somebody is going to be there to save you. I would reach out to people, including those I had previously saved, just to be let down. I don’t expect folks to come to my aid, however, when it’s the person who previously helped you asking for help, you need to help them. Pay it forward, you know?

    My mother always says that you find out who people really are when you ask them for help. I didn’t understand what she meant until it happened to me. As usual, she was right. Yet another painful lesson I had to learn.



  • The Complexities of Life

    Caution: We’re All Works in Progress

    Allow me to set the scene. The Recovering Pessimist:- Caution: We're All Works in ProgressYou’re out and about when s someone catches your eye. Nerves are brushed aside as the two of you have a brief conversation. Phone numbers (and possibly social media handles) are exchanged. Hours are spent texting, calling, emailing, and/or posting social media updates. You really, really like this person.

    In theory, this sounds great. Seriously, who doesn’t want to find that person that tickles your fancy? I honestly can’t think of anyone that doesn’t. However, like some theories, there’s a problem with the execution. In this case, said problem began weeks ago.

    The person that you’re attracted to is working towards accomplishing something (entrepreneur, college graduate, etc). But you don’t see them for the person they are now. Instead, you’re attracted to the person that they’re trying to become.

    I’ve seen this happen too many times. People will get with folks for the end goal, whatever that may be. They’ll stay around provided that the person of interest becomes the person their working towards. In the even that said person of interest doesn’t become that person, suddenly he/she isn’t as attractive as they once were.

    We’re all works in progress, every last one of us, including you. Solely seeing someone for their potential won’t end well, I promise you.


    Updated March 6, 2015

  • The Complexities of Life

    Pep Talk to Self #1

    The Recovering Pessimist: Pep Talk #1Recently, I got incredibly overwhelmed with a task that was time-sensitive. After several hours of anxiety and stress, I gave myself a pep talk. The following is a snippet of what I said to myself.

    This is due in 21 days. And it’s 15 pages long. Plus I need to provide documentation. That’s a lot of paper. I have to mail this?? Postage is going to be a sonofabitch. I can’t wait for this to be over. When am I going to get this shit done?? stares at pile of documentation I’m going to need black printer ink. I need a drink and by drink I mean whiskey. looks at clock It’s only 9 in the morning. Oh well, it’s 5 p.m. somewhere right? Ink is going to cost about $30 unless I can price match it. I would buy a printer with expensive ink. 


    Stop bitching. It has to be done. looks at calendar I have time to get this done. Don’t want to wait until the last minute. What can I knock out first? Perhaps I should write down all the things I need to do to get this done and only do one task a day. pats self on back Smart idea and I can maintain my sanity. You’re so smart.

    It’s amazing how clear my mind was after I had that pep talk with myself. Whatever it takes for you to get it done, DO IT! I don’t care how absolutely ridiculous it may look and/or feel.

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