The Recovering Pessimist

Helping pessimists see the bright side of life without losing their "half empty" roots.

CTRL | ALT | DELETE

Aug
07

The Recovering Pessimist: CTRL | ALT| DELETE -- It's amazing how looking at three keyboard keys applies to real life. We have CONTROL over who and what are allowed into our personal space. We can ALTERNATE our habits to allow for more spontaneity. DELETE who and what drains you of your energy. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimistI use the CTRL, ALT, and DELETE keys daily. Nothing special. One day at work, something clicked while using those keys to lock my PC.

These keys apply to real life. 

It sounds a tinge ridiculous but here’s my explanation:

CTRL – Control your personal space.

I talk about personal space (see here, here, and here) often because it’s that important. Guarding the people and/or things that enter your personal space is a key component of self-care (see here, here, and here). Trust me on this one.

ALT – Alternate your habits.

I’m a creature of habit. Most of my habits aren’t time-specific, but I still have to do them. The problem with habits is that you miss out on experiences and moments. Loosen up a bit. Figure out a way to alternate your habits so you can still enjoy the spontaneity of life.

DELETE – Remove who and/or what’s unnecessary.

Purge things from your home that you have no use for. Drop the people who drain you of your energy. Goodness can’t come into your life if you have negativity surrounding you.

Until next time,

MsWalton

Take Your Time

Jul
31

The Recovering Pessimist: Take Your Time -- Don't let society's expectations dictate how you live your life. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimistI was on Instagram the other day and saw a post that asked “If you could give your younger self a piece of advice, what would it be?”

Take your time.

Society still has these standards that dictate that you should work towards career and/or family and have it by a certain time in your life. I somewhat understand why these standards originated, but times have changed, and so have people.

You don’t have to date with the hopes of finding someone to marry.

You don’t have to get married.

You don’t have to have children.

If it happens, it happens.

[bctt tweet=”Life doesn’t start nor end because you didn’t meet society’s expectations.” username=”MsWalton”]

People won’t understand it. They’ll call you crazy, selfish, and stubborn. It’ll hurt your feelings, but don’t let their words discourage you. In fact, you’ll lose some people along the way, but that happens as you grow.

[bctt tweet=”Don’t get so caught up in expectations that you forget to live.” username=”MsWalton”]

You got this.

 

 

A.S.S. (Always Something Syndrome)

Jun
12

There are some people that always seem to have something going on with them. It’s dramatic. To make things worse, it appears that many of them enjoy the drama. It’s so widespread that I decided that it needs a name: Always Something Syndrome, or A.S.S. for short.

 

Nene Leakes/Giphy.com

Nene Leakes/Giphy.com

 

I keep people who suffer from A.S.S. at arm’s length or I cut them off completely. Not because I don’t care about them, but because they’re draining. Those particular folks had a tendency to create situations that in turn created drama. They kept this drama going for no reason whatsoever just so they could whine about it to whoever would listen.

I entertained it for a while because I cared about them. I wanted the vbest for them, but as you and I both know, you can’t want it for them more than they want it for themselves. They know that the drama can be resolved. However, if they resolve it, they don’t have anything else to talk about. And if they don’t have anything to talk about, folks stop paying attention to them.

[bctt tweet=”Don’t allow sufferers of A.S.S. to bring you down. Say “NOOOO” to the dramatics.” username=”MsWalton”]

Until next time,

MsWalton

 

 

 

I Let PRIDE Get the Best of Me

Mar
09

The Recovering Pessimist:I gave PRIDE too much power. In fact, it was so powerful that I refer to it in ALL CAPS.

PRIDE constantly reminded me that asking for help was a sign of weakness. So instead I quietly carried the weight of the issues that burdened me.

Looking back, that was an incredibly stupid decision. I allowed PRIDE to keep me  from asking the questions that could help me accomplish my goals. Here’s the thing about PRIDE:

[bctt tweet=”PRIDE will forever have you on the outside looking in. “]

You can allow PRIDE to steer your life, but in the process, you’ll be on the outside looking in. Reclaim the power that PRIDE has taken from you and stop carrying the burdens alone.

Ask for help. It’s there for a reason.

Live Today

Feb
16

The Recovering Pessimist: Live Today

I’ve been dealing with a very stressful situation for a few months. Anxiety left my stomach in knots worrying about all the “what if” possibilities. Oh and sleeping? Practically non-existent.

When I’m in the middle of a shit storm, the Universe will always send me a sign that things aren’t as bad as you think they are. This time was no different.

One morning, my sister sent me a text consisting of two words:

Live Today

While the text was short, those two words meant the world to me at that moment. Sometimes, we get so caught up in our shit we forget day turns to night. That text was a reminder for me to get out of my head, inhale deeply, and slowly exhale.

Repeat as needed.

 

 

 

 

 

Who’s Gonna Save YOU?

Feb
09

 

The Recovering Pessimist: Who's Gonna Save YOU?On Season 4, Episode 10 of  “Scandal“, Olivia (played by Kerry Washington) is in some unknown location after being kidnapped in the previous episode. Despite being held against her will, she still manages to attempt to “fix” the person that’s in the same cell that she is in. Later in the episode, she’s dreaming that Jake (played by Scott Foley) saves her when in reality, she realizes that despite being able to save others, she’s going to have to save herself if she wants to get away from her kidnappers.

As I watched the episode, I got inspired. Back in the day, I couldn’t stand to see the people in my life suffer. I would do whatever I could to save them (sometimes to my detriment) because that’s what I was taught.

But see, the problem with saving everyone else is that there’s no guarantee that somebody is going to be there to save you. I would reach out to people, including those I had previously saved, just to be let down. I don’t expect folks to come to my aid, however, when it’s the person who previously helped you asking for help, you need to help them. Pay it forward, you know?

My mother always says that you find out who people really are when you ask them for help. I didn’t understand what she meant until it happened to me. As usual, she was right. Yet another painful lesson I had to learn.

 

 

Caution: We’re All Works in Progress

Feb
02

Allow me to set the scene. The Recovering Pessimist:- Caution: We're All Works in ProgressYou’re out and about when s someone catches your eye. Nerves are brushed aside as the two of you have a brief conversation. Phone numbers (and possibly social media handles) are exchanged. Hours are spent texting, calling, emailing, and/or posting social media updates. You really, really like this person.

In theory, this sounds great. Seriously, who doesn’t want to find that person that tickles your fancy? I honestly can’t think of anyone that doesn’t. However, like some theories, there’s a problem with the execution. In this case, said problem began weeks ago.

The person that you’re attracted to is working towards accomplishing something (entrepreneur, college graduate, etc). But you don’t see them for the person they are now. Instead, you’re attracted to the person that they’re trying to become.

I’ve seen this happen too many times. People will get with folks for the end goal, whatever that may be. They’ll stay around provided that the person of interest becomes the person their working towards. In the even that said person of interest doesn’t become that person, suddenly he/she isn’t as attractive as they once were.

We’re all works in progress, every last one of us, including you. Solely seeing someone for their potential won’t end well, I promise you.

 

Updated March 6, 2015

Pep Talk to Self #1

Jan
26

The Recovering Pessimist: Pep Talk #1Recently, I got incredibly overwhelmed with a task that was time-sensitive. After several hours of anxiety and stress, I gave myself a pep talk. The following is a snippet of what I said to myself.

This is due in 21 days. And it’s 15 pages long. Plus I need to provide documentation. That’s a lot of paper. I have to mail this?? Postage is going to be a sonofabitch. I can’t wait for this to be over. When am I going to get this shit done?? stares at pile of documentation I’m going to need black printer ink. I need a drink and by drink I mean whiskey. looks at clock It’s only 9 in the morning. Oh well, it’s 5 p.m. somewhere right? Ink is going to cost about $30 unless I can price match it. I would buy a printer with expensive ink. 

screams

Stop bitching. It has to be done. looks at calendar I have time to get this done. Don’t want to wait until the last minute. What can I knock out first? Perhaps I should write down all the things I need to do to get this done and only do one task a day. pats self on back Smart idea and I can maintain my sanity. You’re so smart.

It’s amazing how clear my mind was after I had that pep talk with myself. Whatever it takes for you to get it done, DO IT! I don’t care how absolutely ridiculous it may look and/or feel.

Random Thought #10: Self-Support

Jan
19

The Recovering Pessimist: Random Thought 10: Self SupportI’ve been sharing my dreams of self-employment with the important people in my life. Each time I tell them I’m tired of making other people rich, they question how I plan on making my dreams happen. I share my ideas with them and they’re so, so quick to dismiss me.

What about retirement?

What about health care?

Will you make enough money to pay your bills?

It’s frustrating to hear these questions over and over, as if I haven’t already considered the answers. I don’t think that people realize that by asking their questions, they’re inadvertently projecting their fears onto me. It reminds me of the old saying “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”

Newsflash, I have fears. I don’t need you to ask me about what I already know. I promise you I didn’t just wake up one day and decide I’m going to quit my job. I’m still planning my moves, but understand that I’m motivated enough to take the risks to make my dreams come true. This cubicle life that so many deem secure is not the life for me.

Having a support system is great. I just wish people understood that they don’t have to understand my dreams in order to support them. I understand their concerns, however, I don’t want to encounter a barrage of questions. If they don’t believe me, great. I thoroughly enjoy proving the doubters wrong.

Don’t believe me? Just watch.

 

 

 

The (Ir)Regular Cadence of Life

Jan
12

MY normal YOUR normal

When I was in middle school, I played the clarinet in concert band.  My music teacher taught us so much about musical concepts. She also stressed that several music concepts are applicable outside of the classroom.

Cadence is one of those applicable concepts. Our lives are comprised of cadences. There are times when the rhythms are up and times when the rhythms are down.

These rhythms also vary from person to person. No two people are the same, and what I consider normal isn’t considered normal to you. There’s no need to compare yourself to others.

What music class taught me was that while we are part of the band, we are individuals first. That’s the beauty of life. Each of us contribute something to the world. If all of our cadences were the same, just imagine how terribly boring the world would be.

I cringe at the thought of it.

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