The Recovering Pessimist

Helping pessimists see the bright side of life without losing their "half empty" roots.

Public Service Announcement: Beware of Strays!


I appreciate Fall for so many reasons (see here and here). It’s a reprieve from the outrageous heat of the Summer. I get to wrap this body in layers of warmth and eat all the soup/stew/chili recipes I have saved on Pinterest. However, it’s also the time of year where people seek potential companions to snuggle up with. Within the pool of potential companions are strays.

What is a stray?

A stray is a man or woman who has nothing but seeks someone who has what they don’t have. They provide little to nothing in return.  

Story time!

I took in a stray once. He had a full-time job, lived with his brother, and “circumstances” prevented him from owning a vehicle (feel free to read between the lines there). Did I mention that he had a set of twins plus another child that were only months apart in age (yes, you read that right)?

That’s a lot, but it wasn’t enough for me to walk away. Keep reading.

In the beginning, I didn’t mind doing the driving. I would pick him up from work and take him to either his brother’s place or mine.

[bctt tweet=”When the newness of love wears off, you see people and things for who and what they truly are.” username=”MsWalton”]

In his case, it was his financial situation that tipped the scales for me. He tended to spend his money on wants, not needs. This particular evening I picked him up from work. He got in the car and didn’t say much most of the ride. After some prodding, he tells me that he lost his part of the rent money on a game he gambled on.

*rolls eyes*

I was livid for all the reasons. He then said that when he told his brother about the loss, his brother put him out. There’s this awkward silence in the car, that’s broken when he asked me if he could stay with me until he got himself together.

Claire Huxtable/

Claire Huxtable/

I told him I would think about it. I dropped him off at his mother’s and went home. Realizing that his situation was quickly becoming MY situation, I packed up the little belongings he had at my apartment and took them to his mother’s house later that night. I dropped that duffel bag on her front step with a note telling him that I didn’t want to continue our relationship and that he didn’t need to contact me…ever. That was almost a decade ago and so far, I haven’t heard from him.

I’m sharing this moment of my life because I want you to pay attention. Allow yourself to see what’s being presented to you in that moment and act accordingly. Falling for potential can get you wrapped up in some bullsh!t, trust me.

Until next time,





Cuffing (Pre) Season is Underway!


Fall and Winter are nipping at Summer’s heels and Single Island is buzzing with excitement.


It’s cuffing pre-season.


For those who are unfamiliar, cuffing season takes place during Fall and Winter. Those who are comfortably single during the warmer months may feel that the weather change puts a cramp in their style. As a result, many people who would usually be free agents find potential boo thangs to snuggle up with.

Like football, cuffing season has a pre-season. I’ve noticed that seasoned veterans are starting the selection process earlier this year. The pre-season allows time for one to check out potential boo thangs while they’re still enjoying the summer breeze. The major season goes by so quick and if one doesn’t plan properly, the ahead of the major season which goes so quick. It’s less pressure in the event that a potential doesn’t mesh, one has time to try again. Oh, and also like football, cuffing season typically ends when Spring is around the corner.

Keep in mind that not everyone participates in cuffing season nor do all cuffing reason relationships end once the flowers bloom. With that said, let the searching begin!!

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