The Recovering Pessimist

Helping pessimists see the bright side of life without losing their "half empty" roots.

Pay Attention

Sep
19

The Recovering Pessimist: Pay Attention -- We listen but are we really hearing what's actually being said to us? We pay attention, but are we paying attention to what ISN'T being said? Do yourself a favor and pay attention. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimistLately, I’ve done a lot of self-reflection. Thinking about the good and bad, more so the bad. In addition to that, I’ve wondered if I ignored red flags that were present. In hindsight, I realized that there were SO, SO many red flags. They were thisclose and yet, I still couldn’t see them.

Why?

I didn’t pay attention.

Honestly, I could kick my own ass for not seeing and hearing what was in front of me. I didn’t pay attention to that ex whose actions showed that he wasn’t honest. I didn’t listen to that friend whose actions showed that she had selfish tendencies.

For me, paying attention is composed of two things:

  • Pay attention to the exact words being said. Don’t twist them around to sound like what you want them to sound like.

This took me a long time to figure out. Partially because I was neck-deep in denial (that’s another blog post for another day) and denial is a sonofabitch. When I finally learned to listen to and comprehend the syllables being verbalized, I saved myself a lot of time and heartache.

  • Pay attention to what isn’t being said.

For me, non-verbal cues are slightly more important than verbal cues. Reason being is because people will tell you what you want to hear, not what you need to hear. If you find yourself questioning what they’re saying to you, focus on what they aren’t saying.

[bctt tweet=”Oftentimes, the answer to my question and/or the clarity I seek exists in what isn’t being verbally expressed. ” username=”MsWalton”]

Pay attention to what’s being verbally and non-verbally expressed to you. It’ll save you a lot of time and potential headaches in the long run. Trust me.

Until next time,

MsWalton

Public Service Announcement: “Good Morning” Texts

Aug
22

The Recovering Pessimist: Public Service Announcement: The "Good Morning" Text -- I love getting a "good morning" text from someone I like/love. However, when that's the beginning and end of the daily conversation, there's a problem. And that problem is HUGE! | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimist

There’s something about waking up each day to a “Good morning” text message from someone you like/love. It makes me smile and (briefly) warms the frigid borders of my heart. Gives me all the feels. Puts a little pep in my step.

However, there’s a catch to the “Good morning” text, and it’s rooted in motive. When sending a “Good morning” text, two questions should come to mind:

  • Am I sending the text because I care?

OR

  • Am I sending the text because I feel that I’m obligated to do so?
Winnie the Pooh/giphy.com

Winnie the Pooh/giphy.com

Once you work out the motive, you move to the second phases: the follow-through. Once you send the “Good morning” text, make sure to do the following:

  • Ask him/her how he/she is doing.
  • Tell him/her to have a good day/evening/night.
Winnie the Pooh/giphy.com

Winnie the Pooh/giphy.com

[bctt tweet=”If you care about someone, it should show in your actions. ” username=”MsWalton”]

Also, when someone shows you who they are…even if it’s in a text message, believe them. If they don’t care enough to make text messages count, do you really want to invest more time and/or energy to get to know this person?

Barack Obama/giphy.com

Barack Obama/giphy.com

Until next time,

MsWalton

 

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