The Recovering Pessimist

Helping pessimists see the bright side of life without losing their "half empty" roots.

Truth Skewed by Pride

Aug
28

The Recovering Pessimist: Truth Skewed by Pride -- Despite knowing that there are 3 versions of the truth, there are times when we'll see our truth as the only one that matters. Why? One word: pride. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimistOne of the things I learned as a kid was that there are 3 versions of the truth:

Your truth.

Their truth.

The truth itself.

Somewhere within your truth and their truth is the truth itself. Sometimes, it’s easy to get to. Other times, you have to dig through the info to find it. The journey to get to truth itself is full of anxiety and/or optimism. You might find yourself hoping that their truth is wrong. You might find yourself hoping that your truth is right. Or, you may hope that both of you are wrong.

On rare occasions, the truth may never come to light. There are a few reasons why this could be, but the one that sticks out the most is pride (see here, here, and here for past posts about pride). When it comes to truth, you may know that your version of the truth isn’t correct. Instead of coming to terms with that, you instead stick with your version. I’ve been guilty of this on several occasions. Put your pride in check or it’ll have you out here looking dumb as hell.

[bctt tweet=”Be mindful of the role you play in the truth. How you see things isn’t always how it really is. ” username=”MsWalton”]

As I love to say…when you know better, you do better.

Take care.

 

When Trust Flees the Scene

Apr
14

Image via Pinterest.

This post is inspired by the following question that appeared on my Twitter timeline:

How do you deal with being cheated on?

My response? Leave.

There are some things that can be forgiven (e.g., forgetting a birthday, anniversary, paying the cable bill on time, etc). Cheating ain’t one of ’em.

For some, the logical decision to leave isn’t so clear-cut.

Trust is a hard thing to gain to begin with. It’s  earned, not given by default to any ol’ body.

Once that trust is violated, it’s damn near impossible to get back. I can recall an instance where I knew that he was cheating but my heart wanted to stay.

It can work, I would tell myself. Now matter how hard I tried to make it work, there was no amount of forgiveness to make me forget.

I didn’t believe anything he said anymore. Questioned his whereabouts each time he came home. Raised an eyebrow anytime he used his phone. Made myself anxious worry about him instead of packing to leave. Anxiety is the byproduct of worrying. It wrecks havoc on your well-being. No amount of delusion can fix the damage that has been done.

When trust flees the scene, that’s your cue to leave as well.

Find Your Own Way to Let Go

Mar
13

Image via Pinterest.

I don’t like to share my problems and/or issues with anyone. In the past, I’ve disclosed to people in confidence only to find out they violated my trust.

So I dealt with things alone, which worked in theory. However, it wrecked havoc on my health. Lots of sleepless nights, loss of appetite, horrible hair days, and that’s just the physical ramifications.

Mentally, the anxiety from worrying held me hostage. I felt like the world around me hit PAUSE because I was unable to focus on anything besides the issue/problem at hand.

Once a solution was found, I was able to mentally hit PLAY and life proceeded to go on.

The last time an issue wrecked havoc, I was determined not to go through this. I grabbed my journal, taking my time to detail what was weighing heavily on my mind. As I wrote, I felt the weight becoming lighter. A feeling of immense calm rushed over me and I was able to focus on a possible solution.

Find your own way of letting go. It benefits no one to bottle up all of that stress and anxiety.

Help yourself continue to be your best self.

Beautiful Sadness

Jul
24

Behind the dimpled smile

Past the contagious laughter

A flicker of sadness rests in her eyes.

Anxiety agitates her stomach

Stress dances on her spine

Pride won’t show it

Alone, she cries.

Fear and worry flow hot

Down her cheeks.

Weight slowly lifting

From her burdened shoulders.

A beautiful sadness revealed

A dimpled smile and contagious laughter.

But no amount of tears

Can remove that flicker of sadness from her eyes.

#XD30-Chapter 24-Cracks in the Foundation

Jun
24

Susan looks so calm holding that gun by her side. It takes a few minutes for me to calm my nerves and gather my thoughts.

“What exactly do you mean by ‘money doesn’t keep crazy away’”?

Susan laughs and walks over to the bookshelf. She carefully puts the gun back in the book and places the book back on the shelf.

“Let’s not play stupid Ashley. You know exactly what I mean. Yelena is not going to just go away. No amount of money is going to keep her away. A bullet on the other hand…”

She sneezes.

“…is permanent.”

Oh. My. Damn.

“You can’t possibly be talking about a permanent means to remove Yelena from our lives?”

Susan sits on the chaise lounge and rubs her ankle.

“What part of permanent don’t you understand?” she asks, left eyebrow raised.

“You know what? Your hormones have you on 10 and I need you to bring it down to two and a quarter. You’re pregnant. Sit your ass down somewhere, put your fucking feet up, and chill the fuck out!!”

Storming out of the room, I didn’t hear her respond. At that moment, I had enough of her. If her way of coping with the truth is the handgun edition of Show and Tell, how the hell is she going to deal with motherhood?

“Where are you going?! I know you hear me!!!!”

 Feeling an anxiety attack coming on, I grab my jacket from the hall closet, and snatch my keys from the stand next to the front door. The door closes behind me. With hands shaking and breathing erratic, I get on the elevator to the lobby. Opening the lobby door, the cool air dances across my face. Standing against the brick wall, I release the tears. Tears steady flowing, I grab my phone from my pocket and send a text.

 I don’t know how much longer I can do this.

 

 

Leap Then Look

Mar
08

Do you always look before you leap?

Leap, then look, and marvel at your bravery.

My mother taught me to look before I walk.

If I’m taking a risk, I always run the risk of letting anxiety take over, so I’ll leap and then look.

By then, it’s too late to go back, so enjoy the journey.

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