The Recovering Pessimist

Helping pessimists see the bright side of life without losing their "half empty" roots.

Just Try

Feb
12

The Recovering Pessimist: Just Try -- Do you really want to go through life wondering if you could've succeeded at something if you had just tried? What's the worst that could happen? You fail. But at least you'll know. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimistMany of my accomplishments happened because of two words:

Just Try

Many of those accomplishments were out of my reach for several reasons (e.g., money, skills, etc.) & not worth the effort. It would’ve been easier to wave the white flag. But that sliver of optimism encouraged me to give it a try.

Why?

Because the worst thing that could happen is that I fail, which sucks. But there’s something worse than failure: Going through life wondering if I would’ve succeeded at something if I had tried.

 

Yara Shahidi/Giphy.com

Yara Shahidi/Giphy.com

 

I'd rather try and fail, than not try and later realize I could've succeeded.

Besides, if it means that much to you, it’s worth the effort, right?

Stay ready…you know the rest,

MsWalton

 

 

I’m Not Ready

Feb
05

The Recovering Pessimist: I'm Not Ready -- People mean well when they say things to you. But when you're not in a space to receive the information, you just aren't ready. The end. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimist“You should…”

“If I were you…”

“You know, if you…”

“Stop waiting and…”

“But why aren’t you doing/going/etc…”

pauses

I understand that people mean well, I do. I also understand that those people are looking out for my well-being. And I appreciate that. When I’m in the head space, I can receive the information and respond. But there are times where I’m not ready to receive nor respond.

When you aren’t ready, you aren’t ready.

I get that you mean well. Please understand that I won’t always be in the space to receive what you are saying to me. Yes, it’s frustrating and I mean no disrespect towards you. When I’m ready, I will let you know.

Keep looking out for me…

…and I’ll continue to do the same for you.

 

 

Separate Your Eggs

Jan
29

My mother always emphasizes the concept of not putting all of your eggs in one basket. It’s one of those nuggets of wisdom that you don’t appreciate until it happens to you. I’m pretty sure you know what I’m talking about.

Keri Hilson/Giphy.com

Keri Hilson/Giphy.com

It’s easy to get excited about the possibility of something that you put ALL of your time and energy into that one thing. All you can think about is that one thing. It just has to happen.

I have been there and done that over and over…

…and over and over again.

You put eggs aside because you don’t know what may or may not happen. In the event that things don’t go as planned, the eggs you set aside will be your calm in a moment of panic.

Stay true,

MsWalton

 

I Asked You For Support, Not Your 2 Cents

Jan
22

The Recovering Pessimist: I Asked For Your Support, Not Your 2 Cents -- When you share your goals and dreams with people, sometimes you just want support. Instead of giving you their support, they give you their opinion. It's a gut punch to experience that. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimistI have goals and dreams that I want to fulfill this year. Some of them are pretty big so I want to share them with my circle to get their support. Sounds cool right?

Yes…and no.

Yes, it’s cool to share goals and projects with people you trust. You want them to support and encourage you to carry on. However, there are times where people are unable to support you without sharing their opinions.

You don't have to understand to be supportive.

It’s heartbreaking to have your goals and dreams crushed in general. It’s a gut punch when those goals and dreams are crushed by the opinions of others. If you’ve ever experienced that, you know what I’m talking about. If you’ve never felt that, I hope that you never have to experience it.

And if you’re one of those people who give their opinion and not support, please understand that if someone wanted your opinion, they’ll ask for it. If they don’t ask for it, keep it to yourself, okay?

Thanks.

 

 

The Problem with Potential

Jan
15

Disclaimer: I went back and forth regarding the length of this post. Part of me kinda wanted to make it a normal-length post, but when tried to make a longer post, it didn’t feel right. So here it is, simple and to the point. I hope you enjoy it.

There are two sides to potential:

One, you can see the potential in someone and still see them for who they are in the moment. That’s the ideal side of the coin to be on.

Two, you ONLY see someone for what they could be. Even worse, your interaction with that person is based on their potential, versus who they are right now.

After much heartache (and lost time that I can’t get back), when it comes to potential, it’s best to see someone for who they are right now because if they don’t reach their potential, you can save yourself a lot of time and heartache.

Fall for people for who they are now versus who they could be. What if they never become that person?

 

Ric Flair: The Ultimate Confidence Booster

Jan
08

As a kid, I loved wrestling. While I loved Macho Man Randy Savage, Sting, and Rowdy Roddy Piper, sitting in front of the TV to watch the awesomeness that is Ric Flair was a weekly must-do.

The flashiness of Ric Flair’s costumes drew me in. When his theme song played, I would be in the living room, with a blanket draped over my shoulders.

Ric Flair/Giphy.com

Ric Flair/Giphy.com

Oh, and he’s an expert in trash talking. As a kid, I memorized the legendary speech in the video below:

That speech gave me the confidence I desperately needed in those moments of adolescence when confidence was M.I.A. Fast forward to adulthood, and I still have the unf*ckwithable mindset courtesy of Ric Flair.

Let's be honest, if you don't believe in your awesomeness, how can you expect anyone else to?

If you (still) think that Ric Flair doesn’t have an impact, check out the video below:

Dear Ric Flair,

If you just so happen to read this (and I’m putting it out there in the Universe that you will), thank you for being the badass that you are.

Your forever fan,

Joy

Finish What You Start in 2018

Jan
01

The Recovering Pessimist: Finish What You Start in 2018 -- This year's theme was inspired by a stack of books that I failed to finish. After being annoyed with myself, I decided that I was no longer going to start things and not finishing them. This year will be the year that I follow through to the end. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimistThe inspiration for this year’s theme derived from the stack of (at least 6) books that I’ve purchased throughout 2017 and either never started them or started them and never finished them. Oh, and the countless projects that I’ve started (or planned) and never finished them (or execute them). I’m legit disappointed in myself.

Yoda/Giphy.com

Yoda/Giphy.com

With inspiration on deck, creating the theme was as simple as moving some words around. What I came up with was this:

FINISH WHAT YOU START

It’s long overdue. It would be delusional for me to continue to think that I can accomplish goals when I have a tendency to leave things unfinished. This year, I’m hellbent on starting, finishing, and repeat. No more half-assing.

Do you have a theme/mantra for 2018? I would love to hear about it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

My 2017 Wrap Up

Dec
25

The Recovering Pessimist: My 2017 Wrap Up -- This has been one hell of a year, equal parts ups and downs. I wanted to share the lessons I learned from this roller coaster of a year. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimistWriting these annual write-ups is one of my favorite end-of-the-year blog tasks (see here and here for earlier posts). In the past, I’ve broken down the post into sections (personal/blog highlights, top blog posts of the year, etc).

I wanted to switch things up for this year. The highlights and memories that I experienced this year were awesome. I also had some lows that would’ve broken me. All of that provided me with some valuable lessons that I wanted to share as my annual wrap up for 2017.

 

Do what works for me.

Comparison is one of those things that you can get wrapped up in and not realize that it’s happening. I would browse social media and find myself comparing where I was in various areas of my life in regards to others. I found myself looking up tips and signing up for all kinds of newsletters, none of which I needed. Instead of soaking up all of this information, I got overwhelmed.

It takes longer to get past overwhelm than it did to get overwhelmed.

To get past the overwhelm, I needed to get rid of the sources of the overwhelm. I unsubscribed from several newsletters and stopped searching for tips on things that I really didn’t need. I stuck to doing the things that worked for me and refrained from comparing myself to others. I won’t lie, it’s not always easy, but I feel so much better.

 

Leave the past in the past.

I have this thing where I get a case of the “what ifs” regarding people of my past. I go through the motions of wondering if things between us could be different. I would reach out, we’d reconnect, and things would be cool for months. Then, things would fall apart again and we would go back to being the past. This year, I didn’t reach out when I felt the urge. Progress.

No matter how many times I reach out to my past, sometimes the past needs to stay where it is.

 

Be flexible.

I’m a stickler for a routine. When that routine is disrupted, I feel frazzled. I’ve turned down several opportunities because they interfered with my routine. I know how ridiculous that is, but when I decide that I’m doing something at a certain moment of the day, I don’t like to change the plans.

However, I realized that this isn’t feasible.

I have a routine and when that routine is disrupted, I feel frazzled. It would take days to get back on track. I learned to add some room in the routine so when it gets disrupted, I can pick up where I left off. That allows me to partake in the opportunities that pop up while still having my routine.

 

“No” is not a means to an end.

“No” is one of those things that can make or break you. When you want something so badly just to be told you can’t have it for whatever reason, it hurts real bad. Like when someone takes the last cupcake in the display case that you had your eye on in line. Yeah, that bad. I refused to become discouraged and instead allowed “no” to motivate me to find alternate means to get what I want.

The difference between 'no' and 'yes' is persistence.

 

It’s been a hell of a year, FULL of ups and downs. But as the elders say, if you aren’t learning, you aren’t living.

See ya in 2018!!!!

Cheers/Giphy.com

Cheers/Giphy.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How I’m Prepping for 2018

Dec
18

The Recovering Pessimist: How I'm Prepping for 2018 -- When I sat down to prepare for 2018, I knew that I couldn't repeat everything I had done before. I can't do the same things and expect different results. This year, I switched some things up and I feel that I got it right this time. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimist It’s the home stretch of 2017. One of my favorite times of the year is to sit down and start prepping for the following year (see here and here). For whatever reason, the last 60 days of the year tend to go by in a blur for me. Sitting down and preparing for the following year allows me to slow down for a bit.

In addition to doing the things I’ve done in previous years (see here and here), the lessons I learned this year also changed the way I prep for the upcoming year.

Creating Theme for 2018

The theme for 2018 is the result of a moment of fed-up-ness (not an actual word, but rock with me anyway). It’s the perfect follow-up to this year’s theme of Stay Ready. It’s one of those things that I’ve struggled with for a while now. The theme alone has me super excited for the upcoming year.

Batching Tasks

Multitasking has been a nightmare this year. When I’m not at work, I work on a blog post while doing another blog-related task at the same time. What ends up happening is that I don’t finish either of those tasks that day and carry them over to the next day. This is a horrible use of time.

Batching my tasks would be a good use of time management plus it would help me focus on one thing at a time which would make sure that I finish my tasks in a timely fashion. I can choose specific days for blog post writing, blog maintenance, etc. Hopefully, this will eliminate the bouts of burnout I experienced this year.

Planning Differently

For the past few years, I write all of my goals for the year and that’s it. I’ve ended the year not accomplishing a quarter of the goals I made. This year, I’m being more flexible with my planning by breaking my goals down into quarters. This makes things a lot less overwhelming and I’ll be more likely to actually accomplish my goals. Plus I can focus on each goal versus all of my goals as a whole.

Taking the time the prepare for 2018 by doing these things will alleviate a lot of anxiety, burnout, and overwhelm. I look forward to whatever 2018 brings my way.

I got this.

 

 

 

 

Public Service Announcement: Your Life, Your Choices

Dec
11

I got the idea for this blog post from a conversation I had with some family members some time ago. They ask the same questions all the time and I’m sure they mean well when they ask, but bruh, you don’t have to ask me:

When are you getting married?

When are you going to have some kids?

Will and Grace/Giphy.com

Will and Grace/Giphy.com

For the record, I have no desire to get married and I never wanted children. Both of those decisions are perfectly fine. However, people legit act like you spit in their eyes with ghost pepper hot sauce.

Seriously, why do YOU feel disrespected?

I often wonder if people feel a way about your life choices because they have regrets. Maybe they wanted to make the moves you’re making but they fell victim to society’s expectations. Regardless of their reasons, you don’t owe them a “why” for the decisions you make. In all honesty, they can kiss your ass, but I digress.

Your Life. Your Choices. The End.

 

Growth #Thankful2017

Nov
27

 

The Recovering Pessimist: Growth #Thankful2018 -- Growth is a combination of progress, setbacks, and doubts. The growth I've made in 2017 have prepared me for 2018. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimist

I made progress on a lot of my goals and ideas this year. I also had a few setbacks, which allowed me to determine if the goal or idea is worth reassessing or if I should scrap it altogether. I also doubted myself, wondering if I was doing the right thing.

I would’ve quit, however, quitting won’t get me where I want to be. I refused to give up. With my goals in mind, I restrategized and carried on. I’m thankful for the process of growth that I’ve experienced this year. The progress, the setbacks, and the doubts were all learning experiences that helped me better myself and sharpen my focus.

Growth is learning from your progress, setbacks, and doubts.

Live.

Learn.

Grow.

Repeat.

 

 

 

Intuition #Thankful2017

Nov
20

The Recovering Pessimist: Intuition #Thankful2017 -- Not only did intuition get me through some potentially sticky situations, but it also reminded me to trust my decision-making. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimistI love talking about intuition (click here and here for earlier posts). This year, intuition helped me avoid some potentially sticky situations. I had opportunities that appeared to be awesome on the outside. My support system would give me the green light of approval, but I couldn’t knock the feeling that something wasn’t right.

Intuition reminded me to trust my decision-making. That feeling keeps nagging at me for a reason. Clearly, it’s trying to tell me something, right?

You can ignore your intuition, or you can take heed. Choose wisely.

Listen to the feeling.

Trust yourself.

You got this.

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