• The Recovering Pessimist: "My 2018 Wrap Up" | This year was one for the books. Check out the blog to see my highlights of 2018. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimist
    The Complexities of Life

    My 2018 Wrap Up

    What. A. Year.

    I accomplished things. Learned a lesson or two.

    I did some things. I didn’t do some things. I learned things. The following are the lessons and highlights of my 2018.

    I don’t need all of the time

    I’ve always struggled with time management. I’d do good with it for a bit and then I’d waste it. Rinse and repeat. I’m not sure what happened this year, but something finally clicked:

    I need to maximize the time I have.

    On weekdays after my full-time job, I have a good 2-3 hours of time to use wisely before I start to wind down for bed. I wasn’t always using this time to my advantage. In recent months, I made some adjustments.

    First, I switched up the design of the Wisdom Wednesday template for 2019. Instead of creating multiple templates for those blog posts, I’ve got one template for the entire year. I can’t begin to tell you how I excited I am to not have to spend time keeping up with all of that.

    Second, I write on the go. I started this blog post on the mobile WordPress app. I’m kinda ashamed that I haven’t used the WordPress app as much as I should. I can create the bones of blog posts while I’m waiting, on my lunch breaks, etc.

    You don't need to block off hours to do a 30-minute task. Tighten up.

    Celebrate My Wins

    Sooo…I did some peak adulthood ish this summer by becoming a homeowner!!!! I’m just getting over the shock of it all. Things happened so fast that I didn’t really get a chance to celebrate this huge accomplishment. Thankfully, there’s no time limit on celebrating wins!

    I also embraced JOMO (Joy Of Missing Out). For as long as I could remember, I hated not being in the loop. It pained me to turn down an invite to dinner, an event, happy hour, etc. Now that I’m on the other end of my 30s, I love staying at home.

    I've learned to stop and celebrate my wins before I move onto the next thing. Enjoy these moments.
    Make space for the unexpected

    I LOVES me a routine! I have routines for weekdays and for weekends. While there’s a bit of flexibility built into my routines, I get irritated when my routines are thrown off.

    Throughout the year, I released the grip I had on my routines. I experienced so many things that were totally unexpected. Met some awesome people, had dope conversations, and even got a boost to my creativity. That’s a win-win I can get with.

    Although my routine was thrown off throughout the year, the memories created as a result were well worth it.
    Be Kind to Myself

    When I don’t do what I feel I should be doing, I have a tendency to beat myself up. It could be a combination of forgetting, failure to plan accordingly, or plain ol’ fatigue. To make things worse, I feel bad for beating myself up about doing what I feel I should be doing. Good grief!

    After experiencing burnout several times during the year, I had enough of myself. I can’t continue to beat myself up for how I feel.

    Being kind to myself is a daily practice. Some days I'll do well and some days won't be so good. That is okay.

    This concludes my 2018 wrap up. How was your year? I’d love to hear about it in the comments and/or social media.

    See ya in 2019!

    Joy

  • The Recovering Pessimist: "Stop Projecting" -- You had a bad experience that left you feeling a way. Meanwhile, somebody else happens to have a great experience and you're in your feelings. You don't get to rain on their parade because of what you went through. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimist
    The Complexities of Life

    Stop Projecting

    I’ve had some bad experiences that left a bad taste in my mouth. It feels like when you burn your tongue and you swear you’ll never be able to taste anything again. Sounds familiar right?

    When others around me experience the things I’ve experienced and get better results, I used to feel a way. Bitterness with a sprinkle of jealousy. I felt split in half. I want to celebrate the moment(s) with them because I’m genuinely happy for them. But that other part of me can’t help but to rain on their parade via bitterness and jealousy.

    I had a Come to Jesus meeting with myself. I know how it feels to have someone rain on my parade, whether they meant to or not. It’s an emotional gut punch. I don’t want someone else to feel that way.

    Just because you're in your feelings doesn't mean that you project those feelings onto others.

    This isn’t about me. I should be celebrating someone’s accomplishments. I can wallow later.

    Be mindful,

    Joy

  • The Recovering Pessimist: "Allow Yourself to Feel" -- In order to experience the beauty in disappointment, I have to allow myself to feel the disappointment. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimist
    The Complexities of Life

    Allow Yourself to Feel

    Peep the scene.

    You invest time and energy into something with the hopes that it will be a success. You weigh the pros and cons, mentally preparing yourself for the worst while hoping for the best. Anxiety has you in shambles.

    The countdown is over. It’s time to find out your fate…and it’s the worst case scenario.

    *insert expletive of choice here*

    No matter how much you prepare for it, disappointment hurts like hell. My way of dealing with disappointment was to be upset for a sec and then move on to whatever was next. That worked until this year when I realized that there’s beauty in disappointment.

    The catch is, in order to experience the beauty in disappointment, I have to allow myself to feel the disappointment.

    When you know better, you do better, right?

    Until next time,

    Joy

  • The Complexities of Life

    Weathering the Storm

    The Recovering Pessimist: "Weathering the Storm" -- There are times where things are just so rough that you can't see the bright side. Storms will always come. Some storms will last longer than others. You will get through it. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimistRVA (Richmond, VA) experienced a significant amount of rain over the past few months. It got so bad that we would go a week plus before we saw sunshine again.

    During one of these rainy days, I got inspired. I’m in the midst of tackling some major goals. Each goal requires several mini steps (that are also major on their own) that must be completed in order to complete the goal at hand. I had some setbacks thrown in for good measure and during those setbacks, I found myself asking the same question:

    Do I really want this?

    “Duh! Why would you even ask that?!” is my first response. But wait, there’s more. When you’re in the middle of the storm and the rain is falling so hard you can’t see in front of you, asking this question makes perfect sense. You want the anxiety to go away. You want your appetite to return. You want the headaches to go away. You just want to achieve your goal(s) & continue to live your best life.

    The next time you ask yourself if you can weather the storm, remember why you made the goal in the first place. You got this.

    Until next time,

    Joy

     

  • The Complexities of Life

    Restrict Access

    The Recovering Pessimist: Restrict Access -- Self-care is more than baths with moisturizing bath bombs, wine, and Netflix binges. Self-care is about maintaining your well-being by restricting access to those who no longer have a place in your life. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimistWhen I first learned about “self-care”, I thought about luxurious bath soaks, quiet moments reading/journaling, watching TV with wine, etc. As time went on, I learned that in addition to all those things, self-care is anything that improves your well-being.

    Fast forward to now. Recently, I was scrolling through my social media and noticed that I followed a few people who I no longer communicate with. Mainly because the reason (or reasons) that made me follow them online were no longer relative to me. Then I had a lightbulb moment.

    Why do they need to have access to you online?

    There’s no need to keep people around, whether it’s online or offline, that no longer have a place in your life. Doesn’t matter if it’s a close friend or a relative. Self-care is all improving your well-being so why would you keep people in your life that don’t positively affect your well-being?

    Do what's best for you, including restricting people's access to you.

    Until next time,

    MsWalton

     

     

  • The Recovering Pessimist: "Schedule Changes Are Coming" -- Last year, I decided that I was going to spend more time on my creative projects. When I decided to start Snapshot Storyteller, I realized that I wouldn't have a lot of time for The Recovering Pessimist. I decided to make changes to the posting schedule. Check out the blog post for details. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimist
    Blogging

    Schedule Changes are Coming

    A year ago, I decided to focus more on my creative writing projects. After much procrastinating, I created Snapshot Storyteller: an unglamorous and unconventional look into my writing journey (subscribe if you want to stay in the know).

    Right now, I want to spend time growing Snapshot Storyteller and working on creative projects. That won’t leave me with a lot of time for The Recovering Pessimist. As of today, the posting schedule will change. Instead of posting every Monday, I will post 1-2 times a month. Wisdom Wednesdays will still post weekly for the rest of this year.

    Take of yourself,

    MsWalton

     

  • Love, Dating, & Relationships,  The Complexities of Life

    Is It Complicated?

    The Recovering Pessimist: "Is It Complicated?" -- When a relationship status changes to "It's Complicated", sometimes I wonder if the relationship is complicated by choice, circumstance, or both. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimist

     

    Allow me to set the scene.

    You’re on Facebook, scrolling through your timeline. You notice that one of your friends has changed their relationship to “It’s Complicated”. At that moment, you may ask yourself the following:

    Is it complicated by circumstance?

    Is it complicated by choice?

    I decided to answer these questions based on my own observations.

    Is it complicated by circumstance?

    Things could be complicated due to lack of communication. If neither party expresses their expectations, wants, etc., the relationship itself will resemble a car when you take your hands off the wheel. The relationship will run smoothly for a bit but at some point, it will veer off the road.

    Is it complicated by choice?

    I’ve witnessed people in relationships voluntarily engage in BS for the sheer delight of relishing in chaos. I’ll never understand it, but that’s not my battle to fight. The idea of enjoying a healthy relationship just isn’t appealing to some. I guess that’s okay. Clearly folks like making a mountain out of a molehill.

    Are relationships really complicated? Some are, whether it’s by circumstances, choice, or both. What won’t make them any less complicated is letting everyone know that your relationship is complicated. No need to make something more difficult than it is, right?

    Take care,

    MsWalton

     

     

  • The Complexities of Life

    Mind Your Business

    The Recovering Pessimist: "Mind Your Business" -- Worrying about yourself and yourself only is crucial for your well-being. If that appears hard to do, try it. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimistMinding your business is one of those life mantras that you can never be reminded of enough. I figured what’s one more reminder right?

    We’re surrounded by other people’s business, whether it’s intended for us to know about it or not. For the most part, you manage to avoid it. Other times, you can’t because folks bring their issues/problems/concerns to your emotional doorstep and leave them there for you to sort through.

    It’s emotionally and physically draining & on top of that, you don’t know what to do about the mess left on your emotional doorstep. I usually experience two things during this process.

    One, you want to help because you want the best for those involved. Nothing wrong with that. Two, you need to stay out of it. No matter how much you may care about those involved, getting involved is going to do harm to you and your well-being.

    Minding your business is good for your well-being. If you don't already do it, try it and report back.

    Until next time,

    MsWalton

     

  • The Complexities of Life

    Lay It To Rest

    The Recovering Pessimist: Lay It To Rest -- Please don't stress yourself trying to work out things that can't be worked out. Or seeking closure in people/situations where closure won't be found. Let all of those unresolved things go for the sake of your well-being. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #optimisticpessimist #recoveringpessimistSome things just aren’t worth it. You can try to work out whatever it is, but it never works out. You seek closure so you can move on, but closure never comes. So forth and so on.

    Been there, done that, done that again, and finally made it to the other side.

    I hope this saves you some time and stress: Stop trying. Figure out how to move on without whatever it is that didn’t work out. Find the closure you need within and carry on.

    Whatever it is that is keeping you from prospering, lay it to rest.

    It’s hard to do, however, you’ll be glad you did it.

    Until next time,

    MsWalton

     

     

  • The Recovering Pessimist: Stoplight Mentality -- It's not often that I look at a stoplight and relate it to how we maneuver through life when obstacles present themselves. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimist
    The Complexities of Life

    Stoplight Mentality

    One day, while waiting for the light to change, a thought popped into my head:

    People function like stoplights.

    Chloe x Halle/Giphy.com
    Chloe x Halle/Giphy.com

    Here’s my attempt to tie this together. The red, yellow, and green colors of the stoplight represent how we function when obstacles present themselves. Here’s the breakdown by stoplight colors:

    Green Light

    No obstacles in your way for the most part. The obstacles that you do come across are easy to get around. You got this. All is well. Carry on and whatnot.

    Yellow Light

    Whoa there! There’s an obstacle that’s too big to go around but not so big that it’s blocking your path. You may have to do some shifting but you figure it out. Whew!

    Red Light

    Yikes! Just when you thought you were all done with shifting, life comes at you fast. You use everything that you have, but that obstacle…well, it’s not moving and now you’re at a crossroads. One, you can gather your wits and work on a plan of attack. Or two, you can quit, turn around, and travel the way you came.

    So how did I do? Did it make sense or did I confuse the hell outta you? Let me know.

    Be great,

    MsWalton

     

     

     

     

     

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