The Recovering Pessimist

Helping pessimists see the bright side of life without losing their "half empty" roots.

Mind Your Business

Apr
16

The Recovering Pessimist: "Mind Your Business" -- Worrying about yourself and yourself only is crucial for your well-being. If that appears hard to do, try it. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimistMinding your business is one of those life mantras that you can never be reminded of enough. I figured what’s one more reminder right?

We’re surrounded by other people’s business, whether it’s intended for us to know about it or not. For the most part, you manage to avoid it. Other times, you can’t because folks bring their issues/problems/concerns to your emotional doorstep and leave them there for you to sort through.

It’s emotionally and physically draining & on top of that, you don’t know what to do about the mess left on your emotional doorstep. I usually experience two things during this process.

One, you want to help because you want the best for those involved. Nothing wrong with that. Two, you need to stay out of it. No matter how much you may care about those involved, getting involved is going to do harm to you and your well-being.

Minding your business is good for your well-being. If you don't already do it, try it and report back.

Until next time,

MsWalton

 

Lay It To Rest

Apr
09

The Recovering Pessimist: Lay It To Rest -- Please don't stress yourself trying to work out things that can't be worked out. Or seeking closure in people/situations where closure won't be found. Let all of those unresolved things go for the sake of your well-being. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #optimisticpessimist #recoveringpessimistSome things just aren’t worth it. You can try to work out whatever it is, but it never works out. You seek closure so you can move on, but closure never comes. So forth and so on.

Been there, done that, done that again, and finally made it to the other side.

I hope this saves you some time and stress: Stop trying. Figure out how to move on without whatever it is that didn’t work out. Find the closure you need within and carry on.

Whatever it is that is keeping you from prospering, lay it to rest.

It’s hard to do, however, you’ll be glad you did it.

Until next time,

MsWalton

 

 

Stoplight Mentality

Apr
02

One day, while waiting for the light to change, a thought popped into my head:

People function like stoplights.

Chloe x Halle/Giphy.com

Chloe x Halle/Giphy.com

Here’s my attempt to tie this together. The red, yellow, and green colors of the stoplight represent how we function when obstacles present themselves. Here’s the breakdown by stoplight colors:

Green Light

No obstacles in your way for the most part. The obstacles that you do come across are easy to get around. You got this. All is well. Carry on and whatnot.

Yellow Light

Whoa there! There’s an obstacle that’s too big to go around but not so big that it’s blocking your path. You may have to do some shifting but you figure it out. Whew!

Red Light

Yikes! Just when you thought you were all done with shifting, life comes at you fast. You use everything that you have, but that obstacle…well, it’s not moving and now you’re at a crossroads. One, you can gather your wits and work on a plan of attack. Or two, you can quit, turn around, and travel the way you came.

So how did I do? Did it make sense or did I confuse the hell outta you? Let me know.

Be great,

MsWalton

 

 

 

 

 

Embracing Growth

Mar
26

The Recovering Pessimist: Embracing Growth -- For me, growth is an uncomfortable, but necessary part of adulthood. You can run away from it like I did, or you can embrace it and prosper. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimist

Growth is one of those necessary aspects of life that requires you to become comfortable with being uncomfortable. I’m a creature of habit. I like things a certain way. When there’s an unexpected change in my life, I get anxious. Growth is the feeling of anxiety.

Years ago, I wasn’t this open to growth. I ignored the lessons that were being taught to me & continued to make the same mistakes over and over. I was afraid to change because I didn’t know what would happen. My fear of the unknown was crippling and I was tired of repeatedly hitting the wall.

I had to get uncomfortable and allow growth to do its thing. There were several people that I had to let go of in order to become better. I won’t lie, it hurt like hell, but in hindsight, it had to be done.

Growth is an uncomfortable, but necessary part of adulthood. You can run away from it like I did, or you can embrace it and prosper.

I’m grateful for the day I stopped ignoring the lessons.

MsWalton

It’s Okay to be OK

Mar
12

The Recovering Pessimist: It's Okay to Be OK" -- You don't owe anyone an explanation for why you feel the way you feel. If you feel okay, then you feel okay. Nothing wrong with that. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimistThe inspiration for this post came from a snippet of a conversation I observed recently:

Them: “How are you feeling?”

Me:Okay.”

Them:Okay? Just okay?”

I felt offended and I wasn’t part of the conversation. How dare they question how someone felt! Why did they think that feeling okay wasn’t good enough? Did they seriously want that person to explain what “okay” meant to them so they could get a better understanding?

What the hell is wrong with people?

You don't need to explain what 'okay' means to you.

If you ask me how I’m feeling on any given day, there’s a 98% chance I’m going to respond with “okay”. There’s no room for interpretation in that response. Feeling okay is just that…okay. If by chance, you’re the person questioning what “okay” means, I hope this makes you more aware of how your words are interpreted. Even if you meant no harm by it, understand that the person on the receiving end may find your words harmful. If they don’t give more detail in their response, let it be.

Until next time,

MsWalton

 

Keep It To Yourself

Mar
05

This post was inspired by those who have a tendency to “tell too much of the church’s business” on social media. I swear social media has turned into confessional for some folks. It reminds me of The Truman Show. So much of their lives are shared online that you start to feel that they believe social media IS their life.

Katt Williams/Giphy.com

If you’re an oversharer, regardless of the medium, come close. I want to make sure you read the following statement:

Everyone doesn’t need to know your every move, even if it’s good.

Why?

First, everyone on your friend’s list doesn’t always have your best interest in mind. You’re living your life, sharing your highlights and memories. Then one day, you post an update that isn’t so upbeat. For example, your relationship status went from “In A Relationship” to “Single”. What happens right after you post that update?

The same folks on your friend’s list start speculating. You then feel a way about folks being in your business. Then again, nobody would be in your business if you didn’t share your business.

Be aware of who you're sharing what with. There are wolves in sheep's clothing, both in-person and on social media.

In the end, your well-being is worth more than likes.

Until next time,

MsWalton

Back to Center: Update 6.5

Feb
26

The Recovering Pessimist: Back to Center: Update 6.5 -- After several days of not getting enough rest, enough was enough. I finally had to adjust my bedtime routine. Thankfully, it was easier than expected. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimist Rest. It’s something that always seems to elude me. On weekdays, I tend to get 6-7 hours of sleep a night and wake up tired. Weekends are a bit better because I sleep in and take naps. But even then, I still wake up tired. It’s annoying to wake up feeling like you slept four hours when your sleep app says that you got 6.5 hours of sleep.

Plus, after a few days of unrestful sleep, I start to feel the effects. Crankiness and an inability to think clearly are the top two. I spent most nights, working on my laptop and/or phone until around 10ish. Then, I would watch TV until I fell asleep on the sofa.

Enough was enough.

I needed to change my bedtime routine. After some research, I stopped using my laptop at least 30 minutes before I go to bed. It’s a simple change that’s paid off well. Since making that one change, falling asleep is easier and I wake up feeling more rested.

When you know better, you do better, right?

 

 

 

Just Try

Feb
12

The Recovering Pessimist: Just Try -- Do you really want to go through life wondering if you could've succeeded at something if you had just tried? What's the worst that could happen? You fail. But at least you'll know. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimistMany of my accomplishments happened because of two words:

Just Try

Many of those accomplishments were out of my reach for several reasons (e.g., money, skills, etc.) & not worth the effort. It would’ve been easier to wave the white flag. But that sliver of optimism encouraged me to give it a try.

Why?

Because the worst thing that could happen is that I fail, which sucks. But there’s something worse than failure: Going through life wondering if I would’ve succeeded at something if I had tried.

 

Yara Shahidi/Giphy.com

Yara Shahidi/Giphy.com

 

I'd rather try and fail, than not try and later realize I could've succeeded.

Besides, if it means that much to you, it’s worth the effort, right?

Stay ready…you know the rest,

MsWalton

 

 

I’m Not Ready

Feb
05

The Recovering Pessimist: I'm Not Ready -- People mean well when they say things to you. But when you're not in a space to receive the information, you just aren't ready. The end. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimist“You should…”

“If I were you…”

“You know, if you…”

“Stop waiting and…”

“But why aren’t you doing/going/etc…”

pauses

I understand that people mean well, I do. I also understand that those people are looking out for my well-being. And I appreciate that. When I’m in the head space, I can receive the information and respond. But there are times where I’m not ready to receive nor respond.

When you aren’t ready, you aren’t ready.

I get that you mean well. Please understand that I won’t always be in the space to receive what you are saying to me. Yes, it’s frustrating and I mean no disrespect towards you. When I’m ready, I will let you know.

Keep looking out for me…

…and I’ll continue to do the same for you.

 

 

Separate Your Eggs

Jan
29

My mother always emphasizes the concept of not putting all of your eggs in one basket. It’s one of those nuggets of wisdom that you don’t appreciate until it happens to you. I’m pretty sure you know what I’m talking about.

Keri Hilson/Giphy.com

Keri Hilson/Giphy.com

It’s easy to get excited about the possibility of something that you put ALL of your time and energy into that one thing. All you can think about is that one thing. It just has to happen.

I have been there and done that over and over…

…and over and over again.

You put eggs aside because you don’t know what may or may not happen. In the event that things don’t go as planned, the eggs you set aside will be your calm in a moment of panic.

Stay true,

MsWalton

 

I Asked You For Support, Not Your 2 Cents

Jan
22

The Recovering Pessimist: I Asked For Your Support, Not Your 2 Cents -- When you share your goals and dreams with people, sometimes you just want support. Instead of giving you their support, they give you their opinion. It's a gut punch to experience that. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimistI have goals and dreams that I want to fulfill this year. Some of them are pretty big so I want to share them with my circle to get their support. Sounds cool right?

Yes…and no.

Yes, it’s cool to share goals and projects with people you trust. You want them to support and encourage you to carry on. However, there are times where people are unable to support you without sharing their opinions.

You don't have to understand to be supportive.

It’s heartbreaking to have your goals and dreams crushed in general. It’s a gut punch when those goals and dreams are crushed by the opinions of others. If you’ve ever experienced that, you know what I’m talking about. If you’ve never felt that, I hope that you never have to experience it.

And if you’re one of those people who give their opinion and not support, please understand that if someone wanted your opinion, they’ll ask for it. If they don’t ask for it, keep it to yourself, okay?

Thanks.

 

 

The Problem with Potential

Jan
15

Disclaimer: I went back and forth regarding the length of this post. Part of me kinda wanted to make it a normal-length post, but when tried to make a longer post, it didn’t feel right. So here it is, simple and to the point. I hope you enjoy it.

There are two sides to potential:

One, you can see the potential in someone and still see them for who they are in the moment. That’s the ideal side of the coin to be on.

Two, you ONLY see someone for what they could be. Even worse, your interaction with that person is based on their potential, versus who they are right now.

After much heartache (and lost time that I can’t get back), when it comes to potential, it’s best to see someone for who they are right now because if they don’t reach their potential, you can save yourself a lot of time and heartache.

Fall for people for who they are now versus who they could be. What if they never become that person?

 

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