The Recovering Pessimist

Helping pessimists see the bright side of life without losing their "half empty" roots.

Weathering the Storm

Jul
02

The Recovering Pessimist: "Weathering the Storm" -- There are times where things are just so rough that you can't see the bright side. Storms will always come. Some storms will last longer than others. You will get through it. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimistRVA (Richmond, VA) experienced a significant amount of rain over the past few months. It got so bad that we would go a week plus before we saw sunshine again.

During one of these rainy days, I got inspired. I’m in the midst of tackling some major goals. Each goal requires several mini steps (that are also major on their own) that must be completed in order to complete the goal at hand. I had some setbacks thrown in for good measure and during those setbacks, I found myself asking the same question:

Do I really want this?

“Duh! Why would you even ask that?!” is my first response. But wait, there’s more. When you’re in the middle of the storm and the rain is falling so hard you can’t see in front of you, asking this question makes perfect sense. You want the anxiety to go away. You want your appetite to return. You want the headaches to go away. You just want to achieve your goal(s) & continue to live your best life.

The next time you ask yourself if you can weather the storm, remember why you made the goal in the first place. You got this.

Until next time,

Joy

 

Restrict Access

May
28

The Recovering Pessimist: Restrict Access -- Self-care is more than baths with moisturizing bath bombs, wine, and Netflix binges. Self-care is about maintaining your well-being by restricting access to those who no longer have a place in your life. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimistWhen I first learned about “self-care”, I thought about luxurious bath soaks, quiet moments reading/journaling, watching TV with wine, etc. As time went on, I learned that in addition to all those things, self-care is anything that improves your well-being.

Fast forward to now. Recently, I was scrolling through my social media and noticed that I followed a few people who I no longer communicate with. Mainly because the reason (or reasons) that made me follow them online were no longer relative to me. Then I had a lightbulb moment.

Why do they need to have access to you online?

There’s no need to keep people around, whether it’s online or offline, that no longer have a place in your life. Doesn’t matter if it’s a close friend or a relative. Self-care is all improving your well-being so why would you keep people in your life that don’t positively affect your well-being?

Do what's best for you, including restricting people's access to you.

Until next time,

MsWalton

 

 

Schedule Changes are Coming

Apr
30

A year ago, I decided to focus more on my creative writing projects. After much procrastinating, I created Snapshot Storyteller: an unglamorous and unconventional look into my writing journey (subscribe if you want to stay in the know).

Right now, I want to spend time growing Snapshot Storyteller and working on creative projects. That won’t leave me with a lot of time for The Recovering Pessimist. As of today, the posting schedule will change. Instead of posting every Monday, I will post 1-2 times a month. Wisdom Wednesdays will still post weekly for the rest of this year.

Take of yourself,

MsWalton

 

Is It Complicated?

Apr
23

The Recovering Pessimist: "Is It Complicated?" -- When a relationship status changes to "It's Complicated", sometimes I wonder if the relationship is complicated by choice, circumstance, or both. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimist

 

Allow me to set the scene.

You’re on Facebook, scrolling through your timeline. You notice that one of your friends has changed their relationship to “It’s Complicated”. At that moment, you may ask yourself the following:

Is it complicated by circumstance?

Is it complicated by choice?

I decided to answer these questions based on my own observations.

Is it complicated by circumstance?

Things could be complicated due to lack of communication. If neither party expresses their expectations, wants, etc., the relationship itself will resemble a car when you take your hands off the wheel. The relationship will run smoothly for a bit but at some point, it will veer off the road.

Is it complicated by choice?

I’ve witnessed people in relationships voluntarily engage in BS for the sheer delight of relishing in chaos. I’ll never understand it, but that’s not my battle to fight. The idea of enjoying a healthy relationship just isn’t appealing to some. I guess that’s okay. Clearly folks like making a mountain out of a molehill.

Are relationships really complicated? Some are, whether it’s by circumstances, choice, or both. What won’t make them any less complicated is letting everyone know that your relationship is complicated. No need to make something more difficult than it is, right?

Take care,

MsWalton

 

 

Mind Your Business

Apr
16

The Recovering Pessimist: "Mind Your Business" -- Worrying about yourself and yourself only is crucial for your well-being. If that appears hard to do, try it. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimistMinding your business is one of those life mantras that you can never be reminded of enough. I figured what’s one more reminder right?

We’re surrounded by other people’s business, whether it’s intended for us to know about it or not. For the most part, you manage to avoid it. Other times, you can’t because folks bring their issues/problems/concerns to your emotional doorstep and leave them there for you to sort through.

It’s emotionally and physically draining & on top of that, you don’t know what to do about the mess left on your emotional doorstep. I usually experience two things during this process.

One, you want to help because you want the best for those involved. Nothing wrong with that. Two, you need to stay out of it. No matter how much you may care about those involved, getting involved is going to do harm to you and your well-being.

Minding your business is good for your well-being. If you don't already do it, try it and report back.

Until next time,

MsWalton

 

Lay It To Rest

Apr
09

The Recovering Pessimist: Lay It To Rest -- Please don't stress yourself trying to work out things that can't be worked out. Or seeking closure in people/situations where closure won't be found. Let all of those unresolved things go for the sake of your well-being. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #optimisticpessimist #recoveringpessimistSome things just aren’t worth it. You can try to work out whatever it is, but it never works out. You seek closure so you can move on, but closure never comes. So forth and so on.

Been there, done that, done that again, and finally made it to the other side.

I hope this saves you some time and stress: Stop trying. Figure out how to move on without whatever it is that didn’t work out. Find the closure you need within and carry on.

Whatever it is that is keeping you from prospering, lay it to rest.

It’s hard to do, however, you’ll be glad you did it.

Until next time,

MsWalton

 

 

Stoplight Mentality

Apr
02

One day, while waiting for the light to change, a thought popped into my head:

People function like stoplights.

Chloe x Halle/Giphy.com

Chloe x Halle/Giphy.com

Here’s my attempt to tie this together. The red, yellow, and green colors of the stoplight represent how we function when obstacles present themselves. Here’s the breakdown by stoplight colors:

Green Light

No obstacles in your way for the most part. The obstacles that you do come across are easy to get around. You got this. All is well. Carry on and whatnot.

Yellow Light

Whoa there! There’s an obstacle that’s too big to go around but not so big that it’s blocking your path. You may have to do some shifting but you figure it out. Whew!

Red Light

Yikes! Just when you thought you were all done with shifting, life comes at you fast. You use everything that you have, but that obstacle…well, it’s not moving and now you’re at a crossroads. One, you can gather your wits and work on a plan of attack. Or two, you can quit, turn around, and travel the way you came.

So how did I do? Did it make sense or did I confuse the hell outta you? Let me know.

Be great,

MsWalton

 

 

 

 

 

Embracing Growth

Mar
26

The Recovering Pessimist: Embracing Growth -- For me, growth is an uncomfortable, but necessary part of adulthood. You can run away from it like I did, or you can embrace it and prosper. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimist

Growth is one of those necessary aspects of life that requires you to become comfortable with being uncomfortable. I’m a creature of habit. I like things a certain way. When there’s an unexpected change in my life, I get anxious. Growth is the feeling of anxiety.

Years ago, I wasn’t this open to growth. I ignored the lessons that were being taught to me & continued to make the same mistakes over and over. I was afraid to change because I didn’t know what would happen. My fear of the unknown was crippling and I was tired of repeatedly hitting the wall.

I had to get uncomfortable and allow growth to do its thing. There were several people that I had to let go of in order to become better. I won’t lie, it hurt like hell, but in hindsight, it had to be done.

Growth is an uncomfortable, but necessary part of adulthood. You can run away from it like I did, or you can embrace it and prosper.

I’m grateful for the day I stopped ignoring the lessons.

MsWalton

It’s Okay to be OK

Mar
12

The Recovering Pessimist: It's Okay to Be OK" -- You don't owe anyone an explanation for why you feel the way you feel. If you feel okay, then you feel okay. Nothing wrong with that. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimistThe inspiration for this post came from a snippet of a conversation I observed recently:

Them: “How are you feeling?”

Me:Okay.”

Them:Okay? Just okay?”

I felt offended and I wasn’t part of the conversation. How dare they question how someone felt! Why did they think that feeling okay wasn’t good enough? Did they seriously want that person to explain what “okay” meant to them so they could get a better understanding?

What the hell is wrong with people?

You don't need to explain what 'okay' means to you.

If you ask me how I’m feeling on any given day, there’s a 98% chance I’m going to respond with “okay”. There’s no room for interpretation in that response. Feeling okay is just that…okay. If by chance, you’re the person questioning what “okay” means, I hope this makes you more aware of how your words are interpreted. Even if you meant no harm by it, understand that the person on the receiving end may find your words harmful. If they don’t give more detail in their response, let it be.

Until next time,

MsWalton

 

Keep It To Yourself

Mar
05

This post was inspired by those who have a tendency to “tell too much of the church’s business” on social media. I swear social media has turned into confessional for some folks. It reminds me of The Truman Show. So much of their lives are shared online that you start to feel that they believe social media IS their life.

Katt Williams/Giphy.com

If you’re an oversharer, regardless of the medium, come close. I want to make sure you read the following statement:

Everyone doesn’t need to know your every move, even if it’s good.

Why?

First, everyone on your friend’s list doesn’t always have your best interest in mind. You’re living your life, sharing your highlights and memories. Then one day, you post an update that isn’t so upbeat. For example, your relationship status went from “In A Relationship” to “Single”. What happens right after you post that update?

The same folks on your friend’s list start speculating. You then feel a way about folks being in your business. Then again, nobody would be in your business if you didn’t share your business.

Be aware of who you're sharing what with. There are wolves in sheep's clothing, both in-person and on social media.

In the end, your well-being is worth more than likes.

Until next time,

MsWalton

Back to Center: Update 6.5

Feb
26

The Recovering Pessimist: Back to Center: Update 6.5 -- After several days of not getting enough rest, enough was enough. I finally had to adjust my bedtime routine. Thankfully, it was easier than expected. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimist Rest. It’s something that always seems to elude me. On weekdays, I tend to get 6-7 hours of sleep a night and wake up tired. Weekends are a bit better because I sleep in and take naps. But even then, I still wake up tired. It’s annoying to wake up feeling like you slept four hours when your sleep app says that you got 6.5 hours of sleep.

Plus, after a few days of unrestful sleep, I start to feel the effects. Crankiness and an inability to think clearly are the top two. I spent most nights, working on my laptop and/or phone until around 10ish. Then, I would watch TV until I fell asleep on the sofa.

Enough was enough.

I needed to change my bedtime routine. After some research, I stopped using my laptop at least 30 minutes before I go to bed. It’s a simple change that’s paid off well. Since making that one change, falling asleep is easier and I wake up feeling more rested.

When you know better, you do better, right?

 

 

 

Just Try

Feb
12

The Recovering Pessimist: Just Try -- Do you really want to go through life wondering if you could've succeeded at something if you had just tried? What's the worst that could happen? You fail. But at least you'll know. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimistMany of my accomplishments happened because of two words:

Just Try

Many of those accomplishments were out of my reach for several reasons (e.g., money, skills, etc.) & not worth the effort. It would’ve been easier to wave the white flag. But that sliver of optimism encouraged me to give it a try.

Why?

Because the worst thing that could happen is that I fail, which sucks. But there’s something worse than failure: Going through life wondering if I would’ve succeeded at something if I had tried.

 

Yara Shahidi/Giphy.com

Yara Shahidi/Giphy.com

 

I'd rather try and fail, than not try and later realize I could've succeeded.

Besides, if it means that much to you, it’s worth the effort, right?

Stay ready…you know the rest,

MsWalton

 

 

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