• The Complexities of Life

    Unpack Your Baggage

    The Recovering Pessimist | Unpack Your Baggage | www.therecoveringpessimist.me | #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimistWe all have baggage. The amount of baggage we carry ranges from person to person. The same can be said for how we choose to unpack our baggage. Some of us unpack with therapy, journaling, etc. It’s not easy, but it necessary. And some of us…well, some of us choose to not unpack.

    Why?

     

    Acknowledging that you have baggage is one hurdle. Acknowledging that you need to unpack that baggage is another hurdle. It’s easier to ignore both hurdles and allow the baggage to accumulate. The problem with that is that over time, the baggage will get too heavy for you to carry & you’ll have to unpack your baggage before you’re ready.

    There’s a better way.

    You don’t have to unpack everything all at once. Unpack a little at a time. Work at a pace that manageable for you so you won’t get overwhelmed. Reflect on your progress. Repeat. There are going to be some tough times during the journey. Be gentle with yourself.

    Until next time,

    Joy

     

     

  • The Complexities of Life

    Determined in 2020

    My 2020 goals require that I keep the fire lit under my behind. Otherwise, all it takes is one good time to slack for everything to fall apart (and stay that way). When I started brainstorming my 2020 mantra, it was a no-brainer:

    Determined

    For me to be determined with my goals, I need to work on them daily without getting overwhelmed. How do I prevent overwhelm? By creating habits.

    Habits are the adjustment to my mindset that I need in order to be successful.

    And the habits aren’t anything out of the ordinary. One of my habits is reading something (e.g., physical book, e-book, article, etc) each day. I made sure to not add a specific duration of time to my habit because that would overwhelm me.

    Work on it day by day.

    Little by little.

    We got this.

    Until next time,

    Joy

     

     

  • The Complexities of Life

    My 2019 Wrap Up

    The Recovering Pessimist | My 2019 Wrap Up | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimist

    I started 2019 with a full list of goals to accomplish. As the year progressed, my priorities shifted from my list of goals to a focus on being productive with focusing on self-care. I’m proud of the things I accomplished. I’m also grateful for the lessons I learned in the midst of some hellacious storms. Below are the highlights and lessons learned in 2019:

    2019 Highlights 

    Got a raise

    Amazed and shocked. That’s all I can say.

    Got comfy at home

    Throughout the year, I made improvements at home to make things more comfortable. I brought a combination washer/dryer, which is fabulous! I replaced a noisy bathroom exhaust fan with a much quieter model. The hideous storage shed in the backyard got demolished. I also finished an outdoor storage space with drywall.

    Discovered couponing accounts on Instagram

    I love a great deal and I’ll wait months for something I want to go on sale before I buy it. Couponing accounts on Instagram have saved me so much money. Just remember to turn your notifications on:)

    I saw Hamilton!

    Ya’ll, when news broke that Hamilton was coming to Richmond, I was excited. The show is amazing!  If it comes to your area and you’re able to see it, go! You won’t regret it.

     

    2019 Lesson Learned

    Set boundaries…and stick to them

    Boundaries were a key part of my self-care this year. I had to finally acknowledge that I could no longer ignore the toxic people in my life. The hardest part of this process was separating the person from who they were in my life. I continue to struggle with that at times, but I remind myself why these boundaries exist, and I continue to follow through. By sticking to the boundaries I set, my stress/anxiety levels are manageable.

    This year was a great year. I’m grateful for all that I’ve done and learned. I’m happy to go into 2020 in a much better headspace. I hope 2020 will be a kickass year for you!

    Until next time,

    Joy

  • The Recovering Pessimist | Rerouting... | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #therecoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimist
    The Complexities of Life

    Rerouting…

    GPS can take you through the full spectrum of emotion.

    When you make your turns on time, things are great. You’re singing along to your playlist. You’re on time to your destination.

    Somewhere along the way, you missed a turn. And we all know what happens when you miss a GPS turn.

    Rerouting…

     

     

    Cue the panic. Getting rerouted sucks for many reasons, the main one being that you don’t know what’s next. You turn down the stereo’s volume so that you can make sure that you hear each direction that GPS won’t repeat. Your nerves…well, they are shot to hell.

    You make it to your destination and you let out a sigh of relief. After gathering yourself, you realize that you now have an alternative way to make it to your destination. In life, we get rerouted all the time. We panic when things don’t go as planned because we don’t know what to expect. That makes sense.

    Imagine what could happen if we approached the reroutes in our lives in a positive manner?

    Embrace the unexpected. You never know where it will lead you.

    Until next time,

    Joy

  • The Complexities of Life

    Change Your Approach

    The Recovering Pessimist | "Change Your Approach" | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #optimisticpessimist #recoveringpessimist

    Disappointment is something that everyone should experience at least once in life.

    Why? Because we need to know how to react when something doesn’t go the way we want. Sometimes, we have to be disappointed in order to force ourselves to change our approach.

    If you've only done things one way and got the same results, how can you expect for the results to change?

     

     

     

    Once I changed my approach, I yielded better results. I still got disappointment, but I handled it differently. I didn’t see it as a disaster. I studied what I did, the results I got, and my disappointment. Took what I learned from that, and revised my approach for the next attempt. Rinse and repeat.

    It’s not all roses, but neither is life. Allow yourself to feel. Then reflect, re-evaluate, and try again.

    Until next time,

    Joy

  • The Complexities of Life

    Celebrate!!

    The Recovering Pessimist | "Celebrate!!" | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimist

    I’ve been thinking about celebrations. When good news happened, I used to make a small production out of it. Things that would force me to slow down and enjoy the moment. I’m talking happy dances, a night out with friends, etc.

    We don’t celebrate things like we used to. I’m not blaming social media entirely, but real-life is imitating social media. It’s much easier to share a post on social media about your good news. It’s easier to share via social media than to send a bunch of texts and/or call everyone.

    Once that’s posted, we move onto the next thing.

    I have a problem with that.

    There’s so much sadness around us. At times, it feels like it’s robbing us of whatever happiness we have. We need to replace that happiness. When we have moments that deserve a celebration, we owe an obligation to ourselves to celebrate.

    Doesn’t matter how big or small the celebration is.

    Slow down.

    Pat yourself on the back.

    Dance your heart out.

    Have a drink.

    Eat something delish.

    Shed some tears.

    Relish in the fact that something fantastic happened. Something that you expected. Something you didn’t expect. Something you manifested, hoped for, dreamed about.

    Whatever it is, it happened…to you.

    Congratulations!

    Joy

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

  • The Recovering Pessimist | "So About That Apology" | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimist
    The Complexities of Life

    So About That Apology

    When you’re truly apologetic for something, you acknowledge that your words and/or behavior were out of order. You mean what you say. And even if the receiver of the apology doesn’t forgive you, at least you know your apology was sincere.

    Not every apology is sincere, though. When someone’s apology is insincere, it shows. It comes off as condescending and/or passive-aggressive. Here’s a classic example of an insincere apology:

    “I’m sorry if I said (or did) something that hurt your feelings.”

    All that waste of breath did was pack more salt into the wound. Nobody wants a half-ass apology.

    An insincere apology is an insult.

    Don’t pack more salt into the wound. If the only apology you can muster is half-ass, don’t apologize.

    Until next time,

    Joy

     

  • The Complexities of Life

    What Are Your Options?

    The Recovering Pessimist | "What Are Your Options?" | Every idea I have comes with at least 2 other options, just in case things go left. Having those options make me feel comfortable and prepared. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimist
    Photo by Dose Media on Unsplash

    I’ve never subscribed to the idea of only having one chance (or opportunity) to make it happen. That’s a lot of pressure. I don’t want to make myself anxious asking myself the same questions:

    What if it doesn’t work?

    What am I going to do next?

    No matter how confident you are with your idea, things can go left at any moment. Oftentimes without any sort of warning. How will you handle the situation?

    You don't forfeit ideas because you didn't have other options.

    Keep a few options in your back pocket. Just in case.

    Until next time,

    Joy

     

  • The Complexities of Life

    Life Through A Dirty Lens

    The Recovering Pessimist | "Life Through A Dirty Lens" | It's hard to see through the lens of life when your thoughts are making your vision blurry. How do you clean your lens so you can focus? | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimist
    Photo by Samara Doole on Unsplash

    Ever look through a dirty lens?

    Your immediate reaction is to clean the lens so you can focus, right?

    With that in mind, let’s apply that concept to life in general. It’s hard to see through the lens of life when the chaos (internally and/or externally) is making it impossible to focus?

    How do you clean your lens?

    I write everything that’s blurring my vision (pen + paper, notes app, etc). I feel lighter just from writing everything down. Next, I sort through what’s written, placing things into categories based on importance/need. Then, I work through my thoughts in order of importance/need.

    By doing this, I’ve noticed that this process helps me recognize when life is about to get chaotic before it happens. Learning this process has been an important life lesson.

    You can't be your best self with blurred vision. Clean your lens.

    Until next time,

    Joy

  • The Complexities of Life

    Prioritizing in 2019

    My 2019 mantra is inspired by the madness that was 2018. I made 10 goals for 2018. I was excited for 2018 to begin. Each week, I blocked out time in my planner to work on my goals. I was making things happen from January to the end of March.  

    April arrived. My productivity shifted. I found myself blocking off less time in my planner. Working on my 10 goals turned into me only working on four goals, which I accomplished. The six remaining goals never made it out of the planning phase. 

    Why?

    I didn’t prioritize.

    Once I worked past the realization, I started planning on how I wanted to prioritize in 2019. There are two ways I want to make this happen: 

    Streamline My Goals

    Making 10 goals last year was overwhelming To avoid that in 2019, I’m making 2-3 core goals that I can work on throughout the year. I also want to make smaller goals that I’ll accomplish in a shorter timeframe. Speaking of time…

    Be Mindful of My Time

    It’s wasteful to block off hours at a time to get something done. I’m more productive at night, but that’s not always possible. If I know I have a certain amount of hours to be productive, that’s what I have to work with. Once that time is up, I can keep working if I feel like it. But I don’t force it.

    Oftentimes, it’s a simple solution to a difficult problem that eludes us. Don’t overthink it. If you need to step away in order to figure things out, do it.

    Cheers to 2019!

     

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