• The Recovering Pessimist | Rerouting... | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #therecoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimist
    The Complexities of Life

    Rerouting…

    GPS can take you through the full spectrum of emotion.

    When you make your turns on time, things are great. You’re singing along to your playlist. You’re on time to your destination.

    Somewhere along the way, you missed a turn. And we all know what happens when you miss a GPS turn.

    Rerouting…

     

     

    Cue the panic. Getting rerouted sucks for many reasons, the main one being that you don’t know what’s next. You turn down the stereo’s volume so that you can make sure that you hear each direction that GPS won’t repeat. Your nerves…well, they are shot to hell.

    You make it to your destination and you let out a sigh of relief. After gathering yourself, you realize that you now have an alternative way to make it to your destination. In life, we get rerouted all the time. We panic when things don’t go as planned because we don’t know what to expect. That makes sense.

    Imagine what could happen if we approached the reroutes in our lives in a positive manner?

    Embrace the unexpected. You never know where it will lead you.

    Until next time,

    Joy

  • The Complexities of Life

    Change Your Approach

    The Recovering Pessimist | "Change Your Approach" | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #optimisticpessimist #recoveringpessimist

    Disappointment is something that everyone should experience at least once in life.

    Why? Because we need to know how to react when something doesn’t go the way we want. Sometimes, we have to be disappointed in order to force ourselves to change our approach.

    If you've only done things one way and got the same results, how can you expect for the results to change?

     

     

     

    Once I changed my approach, I yielded better results. I still got disappointment, but I handled it differently. I didn’t see it as a disaster. I studied what I did, the results I got, and my disappointment. Took what I learned from that, and revised my approach for the next attempt. Rinse and repeat.

    It’s not all roses, but neither is life. Allow yourself to feel. Then reflect, re-evaluate, and try again.

    Until next time,

    Joy

  • The Complexities of Life

    Celebrate!!

    The Recovering Pessimist | "Celebrate!!" | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimist

    I’ve been thinking about celebrations. When good news happened, I used to make a small production out of it. Things that would force me to slow down and enjoy the moment. I’m talking happy dances, a night out with friends, etc.

    We don’t celebrate things like we used to. I’m not blaming social media entirely, but real-life is imitating social media. It’s much easier to share a post on social media about your good news. It’s easier to share via social media than to send a bunch of texts and/or call everyone.

    Once that’s posted, we move onto the next thing.

    I have a problem with that.

    There’s so much sadness around us. At times, it feels like it’s robbing us of whatever happiness we have. We need to replace that happiness. When we have moments that deserve a celebration, we owe an obligation to ourselves to celebrate.

    Doesn’t matter how big or small the celebration is.

    Slow down.

    Pat yourself on the back.

    Dance your heart out.

    Have a drink.

    Eat something delish.

    Shed some tears.

    Relish in the fact that something fantastic happened. Something that you expected. Something you didn’t expect. Something you manifested, hoped for, dreamed about.

    Whatever it is, it happened…to you.

    Congratulations!

    Joy

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

  • The Recovering Pessimist | "So About That Apology" | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimist
    The Complexities of Life

    So About That Apology

    When you’re truly apologetic for something, you acknowledge that your words and/or behavior were out of order. You mean what you say. And even if the receiver of the apology doesn’t forgive you, at least you know your apology was sincere.

    Not every apology is sincere, though. When someone’s apology is insincere, it shows. It comes off as condescending and/or passive-aggressive. Here’s a classic example of an insincere apology:

    “I’m sorry if I said (or did) something that hurt your feelings.”

    All that waste of breath did was pack more salt into the wound. Nobody wants a half-ass apology.

    An insincere apology is an insult.

    Don’t pack more salt into the wound. If the only apology you can muster is half-ass, don’t apologize.

    Until next time,

    Joy

     

  • The Complexities of Life

    What Are Your Options?

    The Recovering Pessimist | "What Are Your Options?" | Every idea I have comes with at least 2 other options, just in case things go left. Having those options make me feel comfortable and prepared. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimist
    Photo by Dose Media on Unsplash

    I’ve never subscribed to the idea of only having one chance (or opportunity) to make it happen. That’s a lot of pressure. I don’t want to make myself anxious asking myself the same questions:

    What if it doesn’t work?

    What am I going to do next?

    No matter how confident you are with your idea, things can go left at any moment. Oftentimes without any sort of warning. How will you handle the situation?

    You don't forfeit ideas because you didn't have other options.

    Keep a few options in your back pocket. Just in case.

    Until next time,

    Joy

     

  • The Complexities of Life

    Life Through A Dirty Lens

    The Recovering Pessimist | "Life Through A Dirty Lens" | It's hard to see through the lens of life when your thoughts are making your vision blurry. How do you clean your lens so you can focus? | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimist
    Photo by Samara Doole on Unsplash

    Ever look through a dirty lens?

    Your immediate reaction is to clean the lens so you can focus, right?

    With that in mind, let’s apply that concept to life in general. It’s hard to see through the lens of life when the chaos (internally and/or externally) is making it impossible to focus?

    How do you clean your lens?

    I write everything that’s blurring my vision (pen + paper, notes app, etc). I feel lighter just from writing everything down. Next, I sort through what’s written, placing things into categories based on importance/need. Then, I work through my thoughts in order of importance/need.

    By doing this, I’ve noticed that this process helps me recognize when life is about to get chaotic before it happens. Learning this process has been an important life lesson.

    You can't be your best self with blurred vision. Clean your lens.

    Until next time,

    Joy

  • The Complexities of Life

    Prioritizing in 2019

    My 2019 mantra is inspired by the madness that was 2018. I made 10 goals for 2018. I was excited for 2018 to begin. Each week, I blocked out time in my planner to work on my goals. I was making things happen from January to the end of March.  

    April arrived. My productivity shifted. I found myself blocking off less time in my planner. Working on my 10 goals turned into me only working on four goals, which I accomplished. The six remaining goals never made it out of the planning phase. 

    Why?

    I didn’t prioritize.

    Once I worked past the realization, I started planning on how I wanted to prioritize in 2019. There are two ways I want to make this happen: 

    Streamline My Goals

    Making 10 goals last year was overwhelming To avoid that in 2019, I’m making 2-3 core goals that I can work on throughout the year. I also want to make smaller goals that I’ll accomplish in a shorter timeframe. Speaking of time…

    Be Mindful of My Time

    It’s wasteful to block off hours at a time to get something done. I’m more productive at night, but that’s not always possible. If I know I have a certain amount of hours to be productive, that’s what I have to work with. Once that time is up, I can keep working if I feel like it. But I don’t force it.

    Oftentimes, it’s a simple solution to a difficult problem that eludes us. Don’t overthink it. If you need to step away in order to figure things out, do it.

    Cheers to 2019!

     

  • The Recovering Pessimist: "My 2018 Wrap Up" | This year was one for the books. Check out the blog to see my highlights of 2018. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimist
    The Complexities of Life

    My 2018 Wrap Up

    What. A. Year.

    I accomplished things. Learned a lesson or two.

    I did some things. I didn’t do some things. I learned things. The following are the lessons and highlights of my 2018.

    I don’t need all of the time

    I’ve always struggled with time management. I’d do good with it for a bit and then I’d waste it. Rinse and repeat. I’m not sure what happened this year, but something finally clicked:

    I need to maximize the time I have.

    On weekdays after my full-time job, I have a good 2-3 hours of time to use wisely before I start to wind down for bed. I wasn’t always using this time to my advantage. In recent months, I made some adjustments.

    First, I switched up the design of the Wisdom Wednesday template for 2019. Instead of creating multiple templates for those blog posts, I’ve got one template for the entire year. I can’t begin to tell you how I excited I am to not have to spend time keeping up with all of that.

    Second, I write on the go. I started this blog post on the mobile WordPress app. I’m kinda ashamed that I haven’t used the WordPress app as much as I should. I can create the bones of blog posts while I’m waiting, on my lunch breaks, etc.

    You don't need to block off hours to do a 30-minute task. Tighten up.

    Celebrate My Wins

    Sooo…I did some peak adulthood ish this summer by becoming a homeowner!!!! I’m just getting over the shock of it all. Things happened so fast that I didn’t really get a chance to celebrate this huge accomplishment. Thankfully, there’s no time limit on celebrating wins!

    I also embraced JOMO (Joy Of Missing Out). For as long as I could remember, I hated not being in the loop. It pained me to turn down an invite to dinner, an event, happy hour, etc. Now that I’m on the other end of my 30s, I love staying at home.

    I've learned to stop and celebrate my wins before I move onto the next thing. Enjoy these moments.

    Make space for the unexpected

    I LOVES me a routine! I have routines for weekdays and for weekends. While there’s a bit of flexibility built into my routines, I get irritated when my routines are thrown off.

    Throughout the year, I released the grip I had on my routines. I experienced so many things that were totally unexpected. Met some awesome people, had dope conversations, and even got a boost to my creativity. That’s a win-win I can get with.

    Although my routine was thrown off throughout the year, the memories created as a result were well worth it.

    Be Kind to Myself

    When I don’t do what I feel I should be doing, I have a tendency to beat myself up. It could be a combination of forgetting, failure to plan accordingly, or plain ol’ fatigue. To make things worse, I feel bad for beating myself up about doing what I feel I should be doing. Good grief!

    After experiencing burnout several times during the year, I had enough of myself. I can’t continue to beat myself up for how I feel.

    Being kind to myself is a daily practice. Some days I'll do well and some days won't be so good. That is okay.

    This concludes my 2018 wrap up. How was your year? I’d love to hear about it in the comments and/or social media.

    See ya in 2019!

    Joy

  • The Recovering Pessimist: "Stop Projecting" -- You had a bad experience that left you feeling a way. Meanwhile, somebody else happens to have a great experience and you're in your feelings. You don't get to rain on their parade because of what you went through. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimist
    The Complexities of Life

    Stop Projecting

    I’ve had some bad experiences that left a bad taste in my mouth. It feels like when you burn your tongue and you swear you’ll never be able to taste anything again. Sounds familiar right?

    When others around me experience the things I’ve experienced and get better results, I used to feel a way. Bitterness with a sprinkle of jealousy. I felt split in half. I want to celebrate the moment(s) with them because I’m genuinely happy for them. But that other part of me can’t help but to rain on their parade via bitterness and jealousy.

    I had a Come to Jesus meeting with myself. I know how it feels to have someone rain on my parade, whether they meant to or not. It’s an emotional gut punch. I don’t want someone else to feel that way.

    Just because you're in your feelings doesn't mean that you project those feelings onto others.

    This isn’t about me. I should be celebrating someone’s accomplishments. I can wallow later.

    Be mindful,

    Joy

  • The Recovering Pessimist: "Allow Yourself to Feel" -- In order to experience the beauty in disappointment, I have to allow myself to feel the disappointment. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimist
    The Complexities of Life

    Allow Yourself to Feel

    Peep the scene.

    You invest time and energy into something with the hopes that it will be a success. You weigh the pros and cons, mentally preparing yourself for the worst while hoping for the best. Anxiety has you in shambles.

    The countdown is over. It’s time to find out your fate…and it’s the worst case scenario.

    *insert expletive of choice here*

    No matter how much you prepare for it, disappointment hurts like hell. My way of dealing with disappointment was to be upset for a sec and then move on to whatever was next. That worked until this year when I realized that there’s beauty in disappointment.

    The catch is, in order to experience the beauty in disappointment, I have to allow myself to feel the disappointment.

    When you know better, you do better, right?

    Until next time,

    Joy

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