The Recovering Pessimist

Helping pessimists see the bright side of life without losing their "half empty" roots.

CTRL | ALT | DELETE

Aug
07

The Recovering Pessimist: CTRL | ALT| DELETE -- It's amazing how looking at three keyboard keys applies to real life. We have CONTROL over who and what are allowed into our personal space. We can ALTERNATE our habits to allow for more spontaneity. DELETE who and what drains you of your energy. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimistI use the CTRL, ALT, and DELETE keys daily. Nothing special. One day at work, something clicked while using those keys to lock my PC.

These keys apply to real life. 

It sounds a tinge ridiculous but here’s my explanation:

CTRL – Control your personal space.

I talk about personal space (see here, here, and here) often because it’s that important. Guarding the people and/or things that enter your personal space is a key component of self-care (see here, here, and here). Trust me on this one.

ALT – Alternate your habits.

I’m a creature of habit. Most of my habits aren’t time-specific, but I still have to do them. The problem with habits is that you miss out on experiences and moments. Loosen up a bit. Figure out a way to alternate your habits so you can still enjoy the spontaneity of life.

DELETE – Remove who and/or what’s unnecessary.

Purge things from your home that you have no use for. Drop the people who drain you of your energy. Goodness can’t come into your life if you have negativity surrounding you.

Until next time,

MsWalton

Take Your Time

Jul
31

The Recovering Pessimist: Take Your Time -- Don't let society's expectations dictate how you live your life. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimistI was on Instagram the other day and saw a post that asked “If you could give your younger self a piece of advice, what would it be?”

Take your time.

Society still has these standards that dictate that you should work towards career and/or family and have it by a certain time in your life. I somewhat understand why these standards originated, but times have changed, and so have people.

You don’t have to date with the hopes of finding someone to marry.

You don’t have to get married.

You don’t have to have children.

If it happens, it happens.

Life doesn't start nor end because you didn't meet society's expectations. Click To Tweet

People won’t understand it. They’ll call you crazy, selfish, and stubborn. It’ll hurt your feelings, but don’t let their words discourage you. In fact, you’ll lose some people along the way, but that happens as you grow.

Don't get so caught up in expectations that you forget to live. Click To Tweet

You got this.

 

 

A Few Thoughts on Independence

Jul
24

The Recovering Pessimist: A Few Thoughts on Independence -- A big reason for my independent nature is that I don't like depending on people, especially when I can do it myself. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimistI’m subscribed to the AMAZING  Shameless Maya on Youtube. In her “Get Ready With Me | Am I Too Independent?” video, she discussed being too independent while doing her hair and makeup. Check out the video below:

A few thoughts came to mind while I watched her video:

The realization that my independent nature derived from my 5th-grade teacher. In addition to teaching us the standard curriculum, he also taught us life skills such as how to complete a 1040EZ tax form and how to write a check.

Why?

If you don't learn how to do something for yourself, how will you know if somebody is screwing you… Click To Tweet

I learn out of necessity because I tend to want things done a certain way and when I had other people do it for me, most of the time I was disappointed in the outcome. Over time, I learned that I can’t do it myself 100% of the time. What I can do is learn all that I can about the situation/problem/issue so that I have all the information needed to when I present it to someone for help.

When you know better, you do better right?

Until next time,

MsWalton

A Pep Talk to Myself

Jul
17

The Recovering Pessimist: A Pep Talk to Myself -- I have my down moments. Self-doubt creeps in and screws with my psyche. I wanted to share a pep talk I recently had with myself. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimistI have moments when I don’t feel good enough. The “what ifs” creep in, bringing the self-doubt that I worked so hard to keep at bay to the surface.

Years ago, I would panic when this would happen. Now, I understand that it’s okay to have these moments. How I handled these moments when self-doubt attempted a takeover is what mattered. These days, I give myself a pep talk. Nothing fancy, just a conversation to myself from myself. Below is an example of a pep talk I wrote in my journal about a year ago. After you read it, let me know if you give yourself pep talks and what you tell yourself.

After you read it, let me know if you give yourself pep talks and what you tell yourself. Without further adieu, here we go.

Look, I get that you’re having a down moment now and that’s okay. Don’t beat yourself up over it. You’re surrounded by some pretty awesome people who care about you and want nothing but the best for you. Lean on them. Let them help you. 

You have dreams and goals. That requires patience, which you don’t have much of. Remember, patience is necessary for your growth. Nothing in this life will happen on your time.

It’s healthy to want love in your life. Don’t seek love. Live your life. Let love come to you.

Appreciate what you see in the mirror, flaws included. Flaws make you the dope soul that you are. 

Repeat this as much as you need to until the self-doubt goes away.

Love,

Me

 

You Deserve Better (Free Yourself)

Jun
26

The Recovering Pessimist: You Deserve Better (Free Yourself) -- If people cannot accept all of you, you don't need to hold onto them. Cut them loose and move on. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimist Fantasia’s “Free Yourself” is one of my forever jams. There are two lines in the song that were a major life lesson for me:

“If you don’t want me, then don’t talk to me.”

“Go ahead and free yourself.”

Too often people hold on to people who serve them no positive purpose. I’ve been through this more times than I’d like to admit. You care about them and don’t want to end what you have with them. I tried over and over to make it work, just to have things fall apart again. I even went as far as to change parts of my personality to make things better for myself and others. That didn’t go well.

You can't choose the parts of a person that work for you. It's all or nothing. Click To Tweet

You deserve better than this.

 

No Gold Stars

Jun
19

The Recovering Pessimists: No Gold Stars -- You don't get gold stars, accolades, pats on the back, etc. because you made an effort. That's not how any of this works. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #therecoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimist**Begin Transmission**

I have an issue with the “I deserve because I tried” mentality. Many like to believe this is solely an issue with the younger generations. I disagree. I’ve encountered older people who think the same way. 

It really irritates me.What about those who not only make an effort but succeed in their effort? What does that show them?

What about those who not only make an effort but succeed in their effort? What does that show them?

It shows them that all they have to do is make an effort and they get the same accolades as they would’ve gotten for trying & succeeding.

What really irritates me about that mentality is that people feel like they should get praise for doing what they’re expected to do (e.g., pay bills, go to school, etc.).

You don't get a gold star for doing what's expected. Click To Tweet

That’s not how this thing called life works.

**End of Transmission**

 

A.S.S. (Always Something Syndrome)

Jun
12

There are some people that always seem to have something going on with them. It’s dramatic. To make things worse, it appears that many of them enjoy the drama. It’s so widespread that I decided that it needs a name: Always Something Syndrome, or A.S.S. for short.

 

Nene Leakes/Giphy.com

Nene Leakes/Giphy.com

 

I keep people who suffer from A.S.S. at arm’s length or I cut them off completely. Not because I don’t care about them, but because they’re draining. Those particular folks had a tendency to create situations that in turn created drama. They kept this drama going for no reason whatsoever just so they could whine about it to whoever would listen.

I entertained it for a while because I cared about them. I wanted the vbest for them, but as you and I both know, you can’t want it for them more than they want it for themselves. They know that the drama can be resolved. However, if they resolve it, they don’t have anything else to talk about. And if they don’t have anything to talk about, folks stop paying attention to them.

Click To Tweet

Until next time,

MsWalton

 

 

 

Public Service Announcement: Be Specific

Jun
05

The Recovering Pessimist: Public Service Announcement: Be Specific --If you ask for something, be specific. Otherwise, you'll get exactly what you ask for. Depending on what that is, it won't always work out in your favor. Trust me. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimistYou aren’t going to go through life with everything that you need. At some point, you’re going to have to ask for something. That’s normal. However, when you ask for something, regardless of what it is, be specific.

Did ya’ll catch that up there in the nosebleed section? No? Don’t worry, I’ll repeat it.

When you ask for something, regardless of what it is, be specific. 

I cannot stress this enough. If you want a new job with more money, ask for a job with more money. If you just ask for a new job, that’s what you’ll get…a new job with the same money you make now.

For example, if you want a new job with more money, ask for a job with more money. If you just ask for a new job, that’s what you’ll get…a new job with the same money you make now. Or, if you ask for a boyfriend/girlfriend, don’t be shocked with you end up with an asshole. You didn’t ask for a boyfriend/girlfriend that treated you like royalty.

Or, if you ask for a boyfriend/girlfriend, don’t be shocked with you end up with an asshole. You didn’t ask for a boyfriend/girlfriend that treated you like royalty.

You get exactly what you ask for (or don't ask for) in life. Be wise with how you word your request. Click To Tweet

Until next time,

MsWalton

 

 

 

 

A Few Thoughts on Blessings

May
29

The Recovering Pessimist: A Few Thoughts on Blessings -- Blessings come in all forms with varying degrees of significance. Take care of the blessing and the blessing will take care of you. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimistI believe the Universe (or whatever you wish to call it if you wish to call it anything) blesses people every day. These blessings can be tangible or intangible, significant or insignificant.

What’s important about blessings is the understanding that blessings come with an expectation:

Do right by the blessing.

For example, if you come into money (regardless of the sum), spend it wisely. If you meet someone who can enrich your life, learn from them. So forth and so on.

Take care of the blessing and the blessing will take care of you. Click To Tweet

When you know better, you do better right?

Until next time,

MsWalton

 

 

How Much Longer?

May
22

The Recovering Pessimist: How Much Longer? -- Planning is great and all, but at some point you have to execute. Otherwise, you miss out and find yourself with a case of the "what ifs". | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimistIf I had the opportunity to go back 10 years ago and ask myself one question, I would ask myself this:

How much longer?

If I allow myself, I’ll spend a lot of time planning with no execution. I would love to say it’s a blessing, but for me, it’s a curse. I can plan something with all of the possible contingencies, but I’ll never implement the plan.

Not good.

Dreams and goals aren't fulfilled if you spend all your time planning and not executing. Click To Tweet

If you knew how much I missed out on because of this…just thinking about it gives me a headache. Eventually, I got tired of getting in my own way.

I got tired of missing out on opportunities to advance in life. Got annoyed with asking myself “What if?” because I knew I could be out here prospering. Don’t be like me. There’s nothing wrong with planning, but understand that the point of planning is to implement the plans. Remember that.

Until next time,

MsWalton

 

 

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