The Recovering Pessimist

Helping pessimists see the bright side of life without losing their "half empty" roots.

Stop Projecting


I’ve had some bad experiences that left a bad taste in my mouth. It feels like when you burn your tongue and you swear you’ll never be able to taste anything again. Sounds familiar right?

When others around me experience the things I’ve experienced and get better results, I used to feel a way. Bitterness with a sprinkle of jealousy. I felt split in half. I want to celebrate the moment(s) with them because I’m genuinely happy for them. But that other part of me can’t help but to rain on their parade via bitterness and jealousy.

I had a Come to Jesus meeting with myself. I know how it feels to have someone rain on my parade, whether they meant to or not. It’s an emotional gut punch. I don’t want someone else to feel that way.

Just because you're in your feelings doesn't mean that you project those feelings onto others.

This isn’t about me. I should be celebrating someone’s accomplishments. I can wallow later.

Be mindful,


Allow Yourself to Feel


Peep the scene.

You invest time and energy into something with the hopes that it will be a success. You weigh the pros and cons, mentally preparing yourself for the worst while hoping for the best. Anxiety has you in shambles.

The countdown is over. It’s time to find out your fate…and it’s the worst case scenario.

*insert expletive of choice here*

No matter how much you prepare for it, disappointment hurts like hell. My way of dealing with disappointment was to be upset for a sec and then move on to whatever was next. That worked until this year when I realized that there’s beauty in disappointment.

The catch is, in order to experience the beauty in disappointment, I have to allow myself to feel the disappointment.

When you know better, you do better, right?

Until next time,


Weathering the Storm


The Recovering Pessimist: "Weathering the Storm" -- There are times where things are just so rough that you can't see the bright side. Storms will always come. Some storms will last longer than others. You will get through it. | #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimistRVA (Richmond, VA) experienced a significant amount of rain over the past few months. It got so bad that we would go a week plus before we saw sunshine again.

During one of these rainy days, I got inspired. I’m in the midst of tackling some major goals. Each goal requires several mini steps (that are also major on their own) that must be completed in order to complete the goal at hand. I had some setbacks thrown in for good measure and during those setbacks, I found myself asking the same question:

Do I really want this?

“Duh! Why would you even ask that?!” is my first response. But wait, there’s more. When you’re in the middle of the storm and the rain is falling so hard you can’t see in front of you, asking this question makes perfect sense. You want the anxiety to go away. You want your appetite to return. You want the headaches to go away. You just want to achieve your goal(s) & continue to live your best life.

The next time you ask yourself if you can weather the storm, remember why you made the goal in the first place. You got this.

Until next time,



Restrict Access


The Recovering Pessimist: Restrict Access -- Self-care is more than baths with moisturizing bath bombs, wine, and Netflix binges. Self-care is about maintaining your well-being by restricting access to those who no longer have a place in your life. | #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimistWhen I first learned about “self-care”, I thought about luxurious bath soaks, quiet moments reading/journaling, watching TV with wine, etc. As time went on, I learned that in addition to all those things, self-care is anything that improves your well-being.

Fast forward to now. Recently, I was scrolling through my social media and noticed that I followed a few people who I no longer communicate with. Mainly because the reason (or reasons) that made me follow them online were no longer relative to me. Then I had a lightbulb moment.

Why do they need to have access to you online?

There’s no need to keep people around, whether it’s online or offline, that no longer have a place in your life. Doesn’t matter if it’s a close friend or a relative. Self-care is all improving your well-being so why would you keep people in your life that don’t positively affect your well-being?

Do what's best for you, including restricting people's access to you.

Until next time,




Schedule Changes are Coming


A year ago, I decided to focus more on my creative writing projects. After much procrastinating, I created Snapshot Storyteller: an unglamorous and unconventional look into my writing journey (subscribe if you want to stay in the know).

Right now, I want to spend time growing Snapshot Storyteller and working on creative projects. That won’t leave me with a lot of time for The Recovering Pessimist. As of today, the posting schedule will change. Instead of posting every Monday, I will post 1-2 times a month. Wisdom Wednesdays will still post weekly for the rest of this year.

Take of yourself,



Is It Complicated?


The Recovering Pessimist: "Is It Complicated?" -- When a relationship status changes to "It's Complicated", sometimes I wonder if the relationship is complicated by choice, circumstance, or both. | #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimist


Allow me to set the scene.

You’re on Facebook, scrolling through your timeline. You notice that one of your friends has changed their relationship to “It’s Complicated”. At that moment, you may ask yourself the following:

Is it complicated by circumstance?

Is it complicated by choice?

I decided to answer these questions based on my own observations.

Is it complicated by circumstance?

Things could be complicated due to lack of communication. If neither party expresses their expectations, wants, etc., the relationship itself will resemble a car when you take your hands off the wheel. The relationship will run smoothly for a bit but at some point, it will veer off the road.

Is it complicated by choice?

I’ve witnessed people in relationships voluntarily engage in BS for the sheer delight of relishing in chaos. I’ll never understand it, but that’s not my battle to fight. The idea of enjoying a healthy relationship just isn’t appealing to some. I guess that’s okay. Clearly folks like making a mountain out of a molehill.

Are relationships really complicated? Some are, whether it’s by circumstances, choice, or both. What won’t make them any less complicated is letting everyone know that your relationship is complicated. No need to make something more difficult than it is, right?

Take care,




Mind Your Business


The Recovering Pessimist: "Mind Your Business" -- Worrying about yourself and yourself only is crucial for your well-being. If that appears hard to do, try it. | #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimistMinding your business is one of those life mantras that you can never be reminded of enough. I figured what’s one more reminder right?

We’re surrounded by other people’s business, whether it’s intended for us to know about it or not. For the most part, you manage to avoid it. Other times, you can’t because folks bring their issues/problems/concerns to your emotional doorstep and leave them there for you to sort through.

It’s emotionally and physically draining & on top of that, you don’t know what to do about the mess left on your emotional doorstep. I usually experience two things during this process.

One, you want to help because you want the best for those involved. Nothing wrong with that. Two, you need to stay out of it. No matter how much you may care about those involved, getting involved is going to do harm to you and your well-being.

Minding your business is good for your well-being. If you don't already do it, try it and report back.

Until next time,



Lay It To Rest


The Recovering Pessimist: Lay It To Rest -- Please don't stress yourself trying to work out things that can't be worked out. Or seeking closure in people/situations where closure won't be found. Let all of those unresolved things go for the sake of your well-being. | #amwriting #optimisticpessimist #recoveringpessimistSome things just aren’t worth it. You can try to work out whatever it is, but it never works out. You seek closure so you can move on, but closure never comes. So forth and so on.

Been there, done that, done that again, and finally made it to the other side.

I hope this saves you some time and stress: Stop trying. Figure out how to move on without whatever it is that didn’t work out. Find the closure you need within and carry on.

Whatever it is that is keeping you from prospering, lay it to rest.

It’s hard to do, however, you’ll be glad you did it.

Until next time,




Stoplight Mentality


One day, while waiting for the light to change, a thought popped into my head:

People function like stoplights.

Chloe x Halle/

Chloe x Halle/

Here’s my attempt to tie this together. The red, yellow, and green colors of the stoplight represent how we function when obstacles present themselves. Here’s the breakdown by stoplight colors:

Green Light

No obstacles in your way for the most part. The obstacles that you do come across are easy to get around. You got this. All is well. Carry on and whatnot.

Yellow Light

Whoa there! There’s an obstacle that’s too big to go around but not so big that it’s blocking your path. You may have to do some shifting but you figure it out. Whew!

Red Light

Yikes! Just when you thought you were all done with shifting, life comes at you fast. You use everything that you have, but that obstacle…well, it’s not moving and now you’re at a crossroads. One, you can gather your wits and work on a plan of attack. Or two, you can quit, turn around, and travel the way you came.

So how did I do? Did it make sense or did I confuse the hell outta you? Let me know.

Be great,







Embracing Growth


The Recovering Pessimist: Embracing Growth -- For me, growth is an uncomfortable, but necessary part of adulthood. You can run away from it like I did, or you can embrace it and prosper. | #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimist

Growth is one of those necessary aspects of life that requires you to become comfortable with being uncomfortable. I’m a creature of habit. I like things a certain way. When there’s an unexpected change in my life, I get anxious. Growth is the feeling of anxiety.

Years ago, I wasn’t this open to growth. I ignored the lessons that were being taught to me & continued to make the same mistakes over and over. I was afraid to change because I didn’t know what would happen. My fear of the unknown was crippling and I was tired of repeatedly hitting the wall.

I had to get uncomfortable and allow growth to do its thing. There were several people that I had to let go of in order to become better. I won’t lie, it hurt like hell, but in hindsight, it had to be done.

Growth is an uncomfortable, but necessary part of adulthood. You can run away from it like I did, or you can embrace it and prosper.

I’m grateful for the day I stopped ignoring the lessons.


It’s Okay to be OK


The Recovering Pessimist: It's Okay to Be OK" -- You don't owe anyone an explanation for why you feel the way you feel. If you feel okay, then you feel okay. Nothing wrong with that. | #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimistThe inspiration for this post came from a snippet of a conversation I observed recently:

Them: “How are you feeling?”


Them:Okay? Just okay?”

I felt offended and I wasn’t part of the conversation. How dare they question how someone felt! Why did they think that feeling okay wasn’t good enough? Did they seriously want that person to explain what “okay” meant to them so they could get a better understanding?

What the hell is wrong with people?

You don't need to explain what 'okay' means to you.

If you ask me how I’m feeling on any given day, there’s a 98% chance I’m going to respond with “okay”. There’s no room for interpretation in that response. Feeling okay is just that…okay. If by chance, you’re the person questioning what “okay” means, I hope this makes you more aware of how your words are interpreted. Even if you meant no harm by it, understand that the person on the receiving end may find your words harmful. If they don’t give more detail in their response, let it be.

Until next time,



Keep It To Yourself


This post was inspired by those who have a tendency to “tell too much of the church’s business” on social media. I swear social media has turned into confessional for some folks. It reminds me of The Truman Show. So much of their lives are shared online that you start to feel that they believe social media IS their life.

Katt Williams/

If you’re an oversharer, regardless of the medium, come close. I want to make sure you read the following statement:

Everyone doesn’t need to know your every move, even if it’s good.


First, everyone on your friend’s list doesn’t always have your best interest in mind. You’re living your life, sharing your highlights and memories. Then one day, you post an update that isn’t so upbeat. For example, your relationship status went from “In A Relationship” to “Single”. What happens right after you post that update?

The same folks on your friend’s list start speculating. You then feel a way about folks being in your business. Then again, nobody would be in your business if you didn’t share your business.

Be aware of who you're sharing what with. There are wolves in sheep's clothing, both in-person and on social media.

In the end, your well-being is worth more than likes.

Until next time,


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