The Recovering Pessimist

Helping pessimists see the bright side of life without losing their "half empty" roots.

A Pep Talk to Myself

Jul
17

The Recovering Pessimist: A Pep Talk to Myself -- I have my down moments. Self-doubt creeps in and screws with my psyche. I wanted to share a pep talk I recently had with myself. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimistI have moments when I don’t feel good enough. The “what ifs” creep in, bringing the self-doubt that I worked so hard to keep at bay to the surface.

Years ago, I would panic when this would happen. Now, I understand that it’s okay to have these moments. How I handled these moments when self-doubt attempted a takeover is what mattered. These days, I give myself a pep talk. Nothing fancy, just a conversation to myself from myself. Below is an example of a pep talk I wrote in my journal about a year ago. After you read it, let me know if you give yourself pep talks and what you tell yourself.

After you read it, let me know if you give yourself pep talks and what you tell yourself. Without further adieu, here we go.

Look, I get that you’re having a down moment now and that’s okay. Don’t beat yourself up over it. You’re surrounded by some pretty awesome people who care about you and want nothing but the best for you. Lean on them. Let them help you. 

You have dreams and goals. That requires patience, which you don’t have much of. Remember, patience is necessary for your growth. Nothing in this life will happen on your time.

It’s healthy to want love in your life. Don’t seek love. Live your life. Let love come to you.

Appreciate what you see in the mirror, flaws included. Flaws make you the dope soul that you are. 

Repeat this as much as you need to until the self-doubt goes away.

Love,

Me

 

You Deserve Better (Free Yourself)

Jun
26

The Recovering Pessimist: You Deserve Better (Free Yourself) -- If people cannot accept all of you, you don't need to hold onto them. Cut them loose and move on. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimist Fantasia’s “Free Yourself” is one of my forever jams. There are two lines in the song that were a major life lesson for me:

“If you don’t want me, then don’t talk to me.”

“Go ahead and free yourself.”

Too often people hold on to people who serve them no positive purpose. I’ve been through this more times than I’d like to admit. You care about them and don’t want to end what you have with them. I tried over and over to make it work, just to have things fall apart again. I even went as far as to change parts of my personality to make things better for myself and others. That didn’t go well.

You can't choose the parts of a person that work for you. It's all or nothing. Click To Tweet

You deserve better than this.

 

No Gold Stars

Jun
19

The Recovering Pessimists: No Gold Stars -- You don't get gold stars, accolades, pats on the back, etc. because you made an effort. That's not how any of this works. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #therecoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimist**Begin Transmission**

I have an issue with the “I deserve because I tried” mentality. Many like to believe this is solely an issue with the younger generations. I disagree. I’ve encountered older people who think the same way. 

It really irritates me.What about those who not only make an effort but succeed in their effort? What does that show them?

What about those who not only make an effort but succeed in their effort? What does that show them?

It shows them that all they have to do is make an effort and they get the same accolades as they would’ve gotten for trying & succeeding.

What really irritates me about that mentality is that people feel like they should get praise for doing what they’re expected to do (e.g., pay bills, go to school, etc.).

You don't get a gold star for doing what's expected. Click To Tweet

That’s not how this thing called life works.

**End of Transmission**

 

A.S.S. (Always Something Syndrome)

Jun
12

There are some people that always seem to have something going on with them. It’s dramatic. To make things worse, it appears that many of them enjoy the drama. It’s so widespread that I decided that it needs a name: Always Something Syndrome, or A.S.S. for short.

 

Nene Leakes/Giphy.com

Nene Leakes/Giphy.com

 

I keep people who suffer from A.S.S. at arm’s length or I cut them off completely. Not because I don’t care about them, but because they’re draining. Those particular folks had a tendency to create situations that in turn created drama. They kept this drama going for no reason whatsoever just so they could whine about it to whoever would listen.

I entertained it for a while because I cared about them. I wanted the vbest for them, but as you and I both know, you can’t want it for them more than they want it for themselves. They know that the drama can be resolved. However, if they resolve it, they don’t have anything else to talk about. And if they don’t have anything to talk about, folks stop paying attention to them.

Click To Tweet

Until next time,

MsWalton

 

 

 

Public Service Announcement: Be Specific

Jun
05

The Recovering Pessimist: Public Service Announcement: Be Specific --If you ask for something, be specific. Otherwise, you'll get exactly what you ask for. Depending on what that is, it won't always work out in your favor. Trust me. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimistYou aren’t going to go through life with everything that you need. At some point, you’re going to have to ask for something. That’s normal. However, when you ask for something, regardless of what it is, be specific.

Did ya’ll catch that up there in the nosebleed section? No? Don’t worry, I’ll repeat it.

When you ask for something, regardless of what it is, be specific. 

I cannot stress this enough. If you want a new job with more money, ask for a job with more money. If you just ask for a new job, that’s what you’ll get…a new job with the same money you make now.

For example, if you want a new job with more money, ask for a job with more money. If you just ask for a new job, that’s what you’ll get…a new job with the same money you make now. Or, if you ask for a boyfriend/girlfriend, don’t be shocked with you end up with an asshole. You didn’t ask for a boyfriend/girlfriend that treated you like royalty.

Or, if you ask for a boyfriend/girlfriend, don’t be shocked with you end up with an asshole. You didn’t ask for a boyfriend/girlfriend that treated you like royalty.

You get exactly what you ask for (or don't ask for) in life. Be wise with how you word your request. Click To Tweet

Until next time,

MsWalton

 

 

 

 

A Few Thoughts on Blessings

May
29

The Recovering Pessimist: A Few Thoughts on Blessings -- Blessings come in all forms with varying degrees of significance. Take care of the blessing and the blessing will take care of you. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimistI believe the Universe (or whatever you wish to call it if you wish to call it anything) blesses people every day. These blessings can be tangible or intangible, significant or insignificant.

What’s important about blessings is the understanding that blessings come with an expectation:

Do right by the blessing.

For example, if you come into money (regardless of the sum), spend it wisely. If you meet someone who can enrich your life, learn from them. So forth and so on.

Take care of the blessing and the blessing will take care of you. Click To Tweet

When you know better, you do better right?

Until next time,

MsWalton

 

 

How Much Longer?

May
22

The Recovering Pessimist: How Much Longer? -- Planning is great and all, but at some point you have to execute. Otherwise, you miss out and find yourself with a case of the "what ifs". | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimistIf I had the opportunity to go back 10 years ago and ask myself one question, I would ask myself this:

How much longer?

If I allow myself, I’ll spend a lot of time planning with no execution. I would love to say it’s a blessing, but for me, it’s a curse. I can plan something with all of the possible contingencies, but I’ll never implement the plan.

Not good.

Dreams and goals aren't fulfilled if you spend all your time planning and not executing. Click To Tweet

If you knew how much I missed out on because of this…just thinking about it gives me a headache. Eventually, I got tired of getting in my own way.

I got tired of missing out on opportunities to advance in life. Got annoyed with asking myself “What if?” because I knew I could be out here prospering. Don’t be like me. There’s nothing wrong with planning, but understand that the point of planning is to implement the plans. Remember that.

Until next time,

MsWalton

 

 

3 Things I Don’t Apologize For In My 30s

May
15

The Recovering Pessimist: 3 Things I Don't Apologize for In My 30s -- Prior to entering my 30s, I lived life according to how others wanted me to live. I cared too much about how my decisions would make others feel. Now that I'm in my 30s, I could care less about how others feel about me and my decisions. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #optimisticpessimist #recoveringpessimistOne of the biggest things that I occurred when I entered my 30s is that I stopped caring about hurting people’s feelings. For the record, I didn’t hurt people’s feelings with the intention to be spiteful. I got tired of being concerned about how people felt when I decided not to do what was expected of me. There’s something freeing about giving deserving people the imaginary middle finger.

Here are a few of the things that I stopped apologizing for in my 30s:

 1. Being honest with my thoughts and feelings.

I have always been the person that kept their deepest thoughts and feelings to themselves. Why? Because I didn’t want to hurt people’s feelings. The problem with that is that it weighs you down. Nowadays, I release those thoughts and feelings out in a rational way. Keeping all of that in does nothing but create disaster down the road.

2. Not wasting my time.

I’ve never liked wasting my time. When I was in my 20s and younger, I wouldn’t say no to doing things that I didn’t want to do because I didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. Now, I am more protective of “MY” time.

Even when I have nothing to do, if I don't want to hang out, go to an event, etc., I won't. Click To Tweet

Time is too valuable to be wasted.

3. Who I am.

I’m well aware that I can come off as sarcastic, funny, and a bit of an asshole. All of these things and more make up who I am. At this point in the game, I am who I am. I’m not going to be everyone’s favorite and that’s fine.

Those are the three things I don’t apologize for in my 30s. What are some things that you aren’t apologetic for in your life? Let’s discuss in the comments and/or social media.

Until next time,

MsWalton

The “Tit for Tat” Bullsh!t

May
08

The Recovering Pessimist: Tit for Tat -- Many people do things for you under the guise that it's from the goodness of their heart. When in actually, they're full of bullsh!t. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessmist #optimisticpessimist Many people live a “tit for tat” lifestyle. They’ll do things for you under the guise that it’s from the goodness of their heart. In actuality, they’re doing it so they can remind you that they did this and that for you. Oh, and they’ll also tell everyone else that they did x, y, and z for you. Some bullsh!t.

You can’t keep those folks around. In fact, I cut a few folks out of my life for that mess. That bullsh!t is draining and provides nothing of substance for my spirit. If I do something for you, I’m doing it because I want to. I don’t expect anything from you in return.

If you do something out of kindness, you don't have to broadcast it. Click To Tweet

Until next time,

MsWalton

 

Your (Unsolicited) Opinion is Weightless

May
01

The Recovering Pessimist: Your (Unsolicited) Opinion is Weightless -- If nobody asked for your opinion, consider keeping it to yourself. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimistOpinions come in two forms: solicited and unsolicited.

When someone asks for your opinion, it’s likely that they value your opinion.

However, it’s when nobody asked for your opinion that things get dicey. It’s easy to share how you feel about someone’s actions, life choices, etc. What I don’t understand is why folks feel that their unsolicited opinion matters.

Because it doesn’t.

An opinion is just that, an opinion. It holds no weight whatsoever. Click To Tweet

Don’t get upset when you don’t get the reaction you expected because you decided to share your unsolicited opinion. You don’t have to share everything you think, especially when nobody asked you to. Keep it to yourself.

Until next time,

MsWalton

 

 

 

 

 

 

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