The Recovering Pessimist

Helping pessimists see the bright side of life without losing their "half empty" roots.

A Few Thoughts on Foresight

Sep
25

The Recovering Pessimist: A Few Thoughts On Foresight -- I wonder if foresight is one of those skills like common sense. Everyone isn't born with it. You either have it or you don't. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimist This post originated from an observation I had while driving on the interstate: People don’t pay attention when they’re driving. This observation applies beyond driving. In general, people just don’t pay attention. All of the information, signs, etc. are there right in front of them, but they lack the foresight to see what’s to come.

It’s interesting to say the least.

I wonder if foresight is one of those skills that people either have it or they don’t. Similar to common sense. If that’s not the case, I can’t explain how people can’t see what’s going to happen when it’s in plain view.

What if foresight is one of those things where they can see what’s in front of them, but they don’t know what to do?

What if foresight is one of those things when they know what’s in front of them and they know what’s going to happen, but they don’t want to deal with the situation?

If you ever find yourself sitting in traffic, check out your surroundings. There’s a driver or two who doesn’t pay attention to lane closures, sudden braking, etc.

If you feel that something is about to happen, do you prepare yourself or do you ignore it? Click To Tweet

Care to share your answer? Let me know in the comments and/or social media.

Be good to yourself.

 

 

 

Switching Up My Mental

Sep
04

The Recovering Pessimist: Switching Up My Mental -- When goals that I've established don't work out as expected, I had to figure out what's the problem. When I realized that the steps I was using weren't the problem, I realized that I needed to switch up my mental approach. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimistThroughout this year, I’ve been working on several goals. I’ve accomplished some of my goals. However, I’m not making the progress that I want to make on other goals. It’s frustrating to say the least.

So I had a moment with myself to figure out where things were going wrong. My mental approach to these goals was all wrong. And because it was all wrong, I couldn’t make the progress that I wanted to make.

For example, I would tell myself the following:

I want a new job.

I want to travel to ____________.

I want more money.

I switched my mindset to the following:

I’m getting a new job.

I’m traveling to ____________.

I’m getting more money.

Turning those wants into manifestations just might get me closer to accomplishing all of my goals. It’s worth a try. Can’t keep doing the same things expecting different results. Besides, the worst that can happen is that I get the same results. But I won’t know that if I didn’t try something new to begin with.

If you find yourself hitting a wall with something you’re trying to do, try changing your mindset. Sometimes, that’s all that’s needed to get things back in action.

Be good to yourself,

MsWalton

 

 

Truth Skewed by Pride

Aug
28

The Recovering Pessimist: Truth Skewed by Pride -- Despite knowing that there are 3 versions of the truth, there are times when we'll see our truth as the only one that matters. Why? One word: pride. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimistOne of the things I learned as a kid was that there are 3 versions of the truth:

Your truth.

Their truth.

The truth itself.

Somewhere within your truth and their truth is the truth itself. Sometimes, it’s easy to get to. Other times, you have to dig through the info to find it. The journey to get to truth itself is full of anxiety and/or optimism. You might find yourself hoping that their truth is wrong. You might find yourself hoping that your truth is right. Or, you may hope that both of you are wrong.

On rare occasions, the truth may never come to light. There are a few reasons why this could be, but the one that sticks out the most is pride (see here, here, and here for past posts about pride). When it comes to truth, you may know that your version of the truth isn’t correct. Instead of coming to terms with that, you instead stick with your version. I’ve been guilty of this on several occasions. Put your pride in check or it’ll have you out here looking dumb as hell.

Be mindful of the role you play in the truth. How you see things isn't always how it really is. Click To Tweet

As I love to say…when you know better, you do better.

Take care.

 

Rude Motherf*ckers

Aug
21

Dear Ill-Mannered,

Whenever I leave my home, I’m reminded of a sad truth:

Manners appear to be obsolete, like cursive being taught in schools.

You know I’m not lying.

You walk past people and don’t bother to say “excuse me”.

You ask for directions, napkins, whatever and don’t say “please”.

Someone holds the door for you and you don’t say “thank you”.

Leonardo/Giphy.com

Leonardo/Giphy.com

Depending on my mood, I’ll call you out on it.

Did you walk past me and not say “excuse me”?

I’ll respond with “you’re excused”.

Did you fail to say “please” after asking for something?

I’ll ask you for the magic word.

You didn’t say “thank you”? I’ll “say thank you” for you.

I’ll “say thank you” for you.

I have no clue why this is so hard for you to understand. Perhaps it goes back to the day your rude ass entered the world. My elders always said that it takes a village to raise a child. Perhaps the village that was responsible for you failed you as a child.

Not that it’s an excuse.

You have to take responsibility for yourself. That includes making adjustments to bad behaviors. Click To Tweet

Now that you know better, do better.

Sincerely,

Society

 

CTRL | ALT | DELETE

Aug
07

The Recovering Pessimist: CTRL | ALT| DELETE -- It's amazing how looking at three keyboard keys applies to real life. We have CONTROL over who and what are allowed into our personal space. We can ALTERNATE our habits to allow for more spontaneity. DELETE who and what drains you of your energy. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimistI use the CTRL, ALT, and DELETE keys daily. Nothing special. One day at work, something clicked while using those keys to lock my PC.

These keys apply to real life. 

It sounds a tinge ridiculous but here’s my explanation:

CTRL – Control your personal space.

I talk about personal space (see here, here, and here) often because it’s that important. Guarding the people and/or things that enter your personal space is a key component of self-care (see here, here, and here). Trust me on this one.

ALT – Alternate your habits.

I’m a creature of habit. Most of my habits aren’t time-specific, but I still have to do them. The problem with habits is that you miss out on experiences and moments. Loosen up a bit. Figure out a way to alternate your habits so you can still enjoy the spontaneity of life.

DELETE – Remove who and/or what’s unnecessary.

Purge things from your home that you have no use for. Drop the people who drain you of your energy. Goodness can’t come into your life if you have negativity surrounding you.

Until next time,

MsWalton

Take Your Time

Jul
31

The Recovering Pessimist: Take Your Time -- Don't let society's expectations dictate how you live your life. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimistI was on Instagram the other day and saw a post that asked “If you could give your younger self a piece of advice, what would it be?”

Take your time.

Society still has these standards that dictate that you should work towards career and/or family and have it by a certain time in your life. I somewhat understand why these standards originated, but times have changed, and so have people.

You don’t have to date with the hopes of finding someone to marry.

You don’t have to get married.

You don’t have to have children.

If it happens, it happens.

Life doesn't start nor end because you didn't meet society's expectations. Click To Tweet

People won’t understand it. They’ll call you crazy, selfish, and stubborn. It’ll hurt your feelings, but don’t let their words discourage you. In fact, you’ll lose some people along the way, but that happens as you grow.

Don't get so caught up in expectations that you forget to live. Click To Tweet

You got this.

 

 

A Few Thoughts on Independence

Jul
24

The Recovering Pessimist: A Few Thoughts on Independence -- A big reason for my independent nature is that I don't like depending on people, especially when I can do it myself. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimistI’m subscribed to the AMAZING  Shameless Maya on Youtube. In her “Get Ready With Me | Am I Too Independent?” video, she discussed being too independent while doing her hair and makeup. Check out the video below:

A few thoughts came to mind while I watched her video:

The realization that my independent nature derived from my 5th-grade teacher. In addition to teaching us the standard curriculum, he also taught us life skills such as how to complete a 1040EZ tax form and how to write a check.

Why?

If you don't learn how to do something for yourself, how will you know if somebody is screwing you… Click To Tweet

I learn out of necessity because I tend to want things done a certain way and when I had other people do it for me, most of the time I was disappointed in the outcome. Over time, I learned that I can’t do it myself 100% of the time. What I can do is learn all that I can about the situation/problem/issue so that I have all the information needed to when I present it to someone for help.

When you know better, you do better right?

Until next time,

MsWalton

A Pep Talk to Myself

Jul
17

The Recovering Pessimist: A Pep Talk to Myself -- I have my down moments. Self-doubt creeps in and screws with my psyche. I wanted to share a pep talk I recently had with myself. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimistI have moments when I don’t feel good enough. The “what ifs” creep in, bringing the self-doubt that I worked so hard to keep at bay to the surface.

Years ago, I would panic when this would happen. Now, I understand that it’s okay to have these moments. How I handled these moments when self-doubt attempted a takeover is what mattered. These days, I give myself a pep talk. Nothing fancy, just a conversation to myself from myself. Below is an example of a pep talk I wrote in my journal about a year ago. After you read it, let me know if you give yourself pep talks and what you tell yourself.

After you read it, let me know if you give yourself pep talks and what you tell yourself. Without further adieu, here we go.

Look, I get that you’re having a down moment now and that’s okay. Don’t beat yourself up over it. You’re surrounded by some pretty awesome people who care about you and want nothing but the best for you. Lean on them. Let them help you. 

You have dreams and goals. That requires patience, which you don’t have much of. Remember, patience is necessary for your growth. Nothing in this life will happen on your time.

It’s healthy to want love in your life. Don’t seek love. Live your life. Let love come to you.

Appreciate what you see in the mirror, flaws included. Flaws make you the dope soul that you are. 

Repeat this as much as you need to until the self-doubt goes away.

Love,

Me

 

You Deserve Better (Free Yourself)

Jun
26

The Recovering Pessimist: You Deserve Better (Free Yourself) -- If people cannot accept all of you, you don't need to hold onto them. Cut them loose and move on. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimist Fantasia’s “Free Yourself” is one of my forever jams. There are two lines in the song that were a major life lesson for me:

“If you don’t want me, then don’t talk to me.”

“Go ahead and free yourself.”

Too often people hold on to people who serve them no positive purpose. I’ve been through this more times than I’d like to admit. You care about them and don’t want to end what you have with them. I tried over and over to make it work, just to have things fall apart again. I even went as far as to change parts of my personality to make things better for myself and others. That didn’t go well.

You can't choose the parts of a person that work for you. It's all or nothing. Click To Tweet

You deserve better than this.

 

No Gold Stars

Jun
19

The Recovering Pessimists: No Gold Stars -- You don't get gold stars, accolades, pats on the back, etc. because you made an effort. That's not how any of this works. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #therecoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimist**Begin Transmission**

I have an issue with the “I deserve because I tried” mentality. Many like to believe this is solely an issue with the younger generations. I disagree. I’ve encountered older people who think the same way. 

It really irritates me.What about those who not only make an effort but succeed in their effort? What does that show them?

What about those who not only make an effort but succeed in their effort? What does that show them?

It shows them that all they have to do is make an effort and they get the same accolades as they would’ve gotten for trying & succeeding.

What really irritates me about that mentality is that people feel like they should get praise for doing what they’re expected to do (e.g., pay bills, go to school, etc.).

You don't get a gold star for doing what's expected. Click To Tweet

That’s not how this thing called life works.

**End of Transmission**

 

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