The Recovering Pessimist

Helping pessimists see the bright side of life without losing their "half empty" roots.

#Love + Pride = Disaster

Feb
13

 

The Recovering Pessimist: #Love + Pride = Disaster -- Several things have ruined my relationships in the past (e.g., jealousy, lack of trust, etc.). None of those things were as disastrous as pride. You can sense jealousy and lac of trust, but pride is hard to detect. And by the time you detect it, it may be too late. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #mytruthaboutlove #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimist

When people enter into a relationship, a few things should beare understood:

1. Someone else’s wants and needs should be considered as well as yours.

2. You aren’t always going to be right.

3. Your thoughts are feelings aren’t more important than the other party.

Having an understanding of those three things is crucial to the success of the relationship. In addition, pride can ruin your understanding of these things.

There were a few times where I let pride get the best of me. I was so selfish. If it wasn’t about me first, I wasn’t hearing it. I didn’t care about my boyfriend’s feelings enough to make them a priority. When arguments would occur, I was always right…even when I was dead ass wrong.

My selfishness was responsible for many failed relationships. There were a few times where I managed to check myself before things took a hard left, but it was too late to salvage the relationship.

Pride will destroy everything in its path, including your relationship. Click To Tweet

Ain’t that the truth.

Those lessons on pride’s place in relationships were hard, but they were necessary. I have to humble myself when it comes to relationships if I want my future relationship(s) to prosper.

Until next time,

MsWalton

#Love is a Winning AND Losing Game

Feb
06

The Recovering Pessimist: Love is a Winning AND Losing Game -- As in life, there are winners and losers when it comes to love, and that is okay. I learned to live in moment versus worrying about when the other shoe in the relationship would fall. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimist #mytruthaboutloveAmy Winehouse was on to something with “Love Is a Losing Game”.

Allow me to explain.

In life, there are losers and winners. The same applies to love.

There are moments where I was a winner in love. Everything was going well in the relationship, I couldn’t stop smiling, and my heart was full of happiness.

At some point, those winning moments turned sour. Frowns and sadness replaced smiles and happiness. The relationship ended. All was not well in my world. I lost.

But it’s okay.

Heartache is an unwanted necessity of life. Instead of wallowing in my broken heart, I learned to remember those moments where I was a winner.

Sometimes losing is inevitable, even in love. Click To Tweet

Until next time,

MsWalton

My Truth About #Love

Jan
30

The Recovering Pessimist: My Truth About Love (Intro) -- I don't participate in Valentine's Day (it's a retail holiday, but I digress), however, I wanted to create a themed series about the truths I learned (the hard way) about love. I hope you enjoy! | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimist #mytruthaboutlove

I love writing about love and all of its complexities. Back in 2014 and 2016 I did a themed February series on love. I enjoyed creating the themes and wanted to do it again for 2017.

During my brainstorming sessions, I wanted to do things a bit simpler this year. When I was jotting down my lessons learned for 2016, many of those lessons centered around love.

Which brings me to the “My Truth About #Love” series. This series consists of four truths posted each Monday in February.

I hope you enjoy the series!

 

 

 

 

“Keep Swinging” Through Life

Jan
16

There are times where no matter how far I’ve progressed, I find myself falling back a step (or five). It’s discouraging and I have moments when I just want to quit. But I can’t let that happen…and Denzel Washington doesn’t want you to either.

I love Denzel Washington not only as an accomplished actor but for his wisdom (click here for that post). During an interview with BlogXilla of Global Grind to discuss his film Fences, Denzel drops a nugget of wisdom once again.

Check out the video below:

Sometimes you need to be reminded that what you're going through is part of the journey. Click To Tweet

Don’t get discouraged when you find yourself a few steps back from where you started. Use that to motivate you. Make note of that moment to use a reflection point in the future.

You got this.

Staying Ready in 2017

Jan
02
The Recovering Pessimist: Staying Ready in 2017 -- While doing my prepping for 2017, finding a theme was pretty easy. I decided to use a simple, but profound phrase that I have been reciting all of 2016. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #optimisticpessimist #recoveringpessimist

Image via Chaitra of ItsPinkPot.com

Happy 2017!!!

To continue my tradition of creating yearly themes, I come to you with my theme for 2017 (click here and here for past years’ posts).

This year’s theme began as a joke between my friends and I because I hate surprises. Over time, this phrase evolved into a personal mantra.

Fast forward to Q3 of 2016. I sat down to write some ideas, and the only one that made the list was the joke that became my mantra:

 

STAY READY

I spent a good part of 2016 worrying about the “what ifs”; the inspirations and opportunities that I missed out on. I was thisclose to potential greatness, but of course, I messed up and missed out on them.

How did I miss out on them?

My mindset wasn’t in the right place. I was so worried about what everyone else was doing that I got in my own way. What I should’ve focused on was myself, my goals, and how I was going to accomplish them.

Lesson learned.

In 2017, my hopes, dreams, wants, and desires are big. I refuse to get in my own way this year. I have too much to do and accomplish. What are you promising not to do this year? I’d love to hear about it.

Happy New Year!

My 2016 Wrap Up

Dec
26

The Recovering Pessimist: My 2016 Wrap Up -- This year has been a huge learning experience. I've made progress with this blog as well as my personal life and wanted to chronicle these moments. Enjoy! | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #optimisticpessimist #recoveringpessimistI love writing end of year wrap-up posts (see here for last year’s). It’s a way for me to chronicle all of my ups (and downs) from the year. It also reminds me of accomplishments I have forgotten. Last year’s wrap up post wasn’t as organized as I would like, so this year, I wanted to split the post into two sections: blog and personal life.

Enjoy!

 

BLOG

Top 10 Blogs of 2016 (As of 12/10/2016)
 Highlights
Lessons Learned
  • Getting wrapped up in everyone else’s success blocks my own potential success. Don’t get sucked into that matrix.
  • Everyone has their own journey, including me.
  • Make use of small nuggets of time. I can get more work done in 30 minutes than I can in 8 hours.

 

PERSONAL

 Highlights
  • I won tickets to 2015 Richmond Jazz Festival. The bestie and I went on Sunday night, so we could experience the greatness that is Morris Day & the Time, Tamia, and The Roots. Yes, all of that in one day/night.
  • Saw Alabama Shakes and Corinne Bailey Rae in concert with the bestie at the Portsmouth Pavilion. Perfect weather for a soul-stirring outdoor concert.
  • Reconnected with old friends via Facebook.
  • Took more selfies of myself.
    • For the record, I didn’t post 90% of the selfies I took in 2016. These selfies were mostly for personal memories and documentation of my wellness journey.
Lessons Learned
  • Be open to the unexpectedness of life. Oftentimes these curveballs aren’t as bad as I think they are.
  • Just because I can’t see it happening, doesn’t mean things aren’t working behind the scenes.
  • It’s okay to miss the past. However, remember why the past is the past.

 

That’s 2016 for me in a nutshell. What were your highs (and lows) of 2016? Do you document them (blog post, journal, video, etc.)? I’d love to hear about it.

Until next time,

MsWalton

 

How I’m Prepping for 2017

Dec
19

The Recovering Pessimist: How I'm Prepping for 2017 -- I love going through the process of planning for the upcoming year. It allows me to reflect on the current year and make the necessary adjustments. Some of the things mentioned in this year's blog post are similar to last year's with some new things added. Do you plan for the upcoming year? What is your process? | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimistI love writing about my preparation process for the upcoming year. Many of the things in this year’s post were mentioned in last year’s post. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it right?

Without further adieu, let’s begin, shall we?

Create theme for 2017

Having a theme really sets the tone for how I approach the upcoming year. Throughout the year I’ve repeated the same phrase over and over as a reminder to myself and friends when life threw us a curve ball.

Then I had a lightbulb moment. I could make this phrase my theme for 2017 (I”ll disclose the theme in a later post). One less thing for me to work on. Yay!

Vision Board

I created my first vision board last year after hearing folks talk about how vision boards helped them with the manifestation of their goals, aspirations, etc. They were spot on. Many of the things I posted on my vision board actually happened.

Questlove/Giphy.com

Questlove/Giphy.com

This year, I want to take things up a notch with my vision board. I want to take a photo of my vision board, print the photo, and put the photo on the inside cover of my Inkwell Press liveWELL planner. That way, I can keep my vision board with me and stay on task. Genius!

Planning Blog Content Ahead of Time

This year, I finally decided to create an editorial calendar using Google Sheets. I have a place to keep track of all the blog posts (and their permalinks) I’ve written for the year broken down by month. Planning blog posts that are part of a series (e.g., Back to Center, Wisdom Wednesday, etc.) is way easier for me. If you don’t already have some sort of content calendar in place, get one and save yourself the stress.

Write Goals Down

Each year, I have major goals that I want to accomplish. Last year, I used MindMeister to create a visual for all of my goals. It was really pretty to look at, but it wasn’t effective. I also made goal cards for my major goals, which worked initially. However, I stopped looking at them regularly, so that ended up not being too effective.

The whole point of making goals is to accomplish them right?

Exactly!

This year, I decided to keep track of my goals using my 2017 Inkwell Press liveWELL planner. This weekly planner has a lot of areas throughout the planner to keep track of my goals on a yearly and monthly basis. And since I look at my planner several times a day, housing my goals in the planner would be a win-win situation for me.

That’s my planning process for 2017. Tell me, do you plan for the upcoming year? If so, what’s your process? I’d love to hear about it.

Until next time,

MsWalton

 

 

 

 

 

My Favorite Pinterest Accounts for Bloggers

Dec
12

The Recovering Pessimist: My Favorite Pinterest Accounts for Bloggers -- I often turn to Pinterest to answer many of my blogging-related questions. I wanted to share with you some of my favorite Pinterest accounts for bloggers because people need to know how dope these accounts (and the people behind them) are. Also, I want to save you from a lot of frustration and headaches. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimist #blogging #bloggers #pinterestI’m a HUGE fan of Pinterest as a blogger. Many of my blogging-related questions were answered via Pinterest. That website is a hub of awesomeness. listed below on my

Anyway, I wanted to share my favorite Pinterest accounts for bloggers. All of these accounts are included on my Blogging Tips Pinterest board.

Ali Ebright (Gimme Some Oven)

I was researching how to name the images I created and used in my blog posts on Pinterest. In the search results, was Ali’s pin entitled “The One Thing You Must Do To Every Image Uploaded To Your Blog“. Talk about being a lifesaver. Not only does her Pinterest page make me hungry, but the Pinterest board for her blog Gimme Some Oven has plenty of blogging-related gems on it. Definitely worth checking out.

byRegina

My admiration for Regina is no secret (I’ve mentioned her here, here, and here). I’ve been a fan of hers for years and she’s never steered me wrong. Her Pinterest page is a treasure chest of awesomeness. My favorite boards of hers are Blog Tips Galore, Blog Tips, and For the Infopreneurs.

Olyvia

I learned about Olyvia when I ran across her “91+ Blog Posts To Make You A Better Blogger + Business Owner” blog post on Pinterest. My favorite boards on Olyvia’s Pinterest page are Olyvia.co, Blog + Website Tips, and E-book Creation.

Melyssa Griffin

Melyssa’s pins appeared on my Pinterest timeline after doing research on blogging tips. Her Pinterest page is a big resource for me, along with other bloggers and entrepreneurs. My favorite boards on Melyssa’s page include MelyssaGriffin.comBlogging + Bloggers, and Entrepreneur + Business.

I hope you find these Pinterest accounts just as useful as I do. Do you have any favorite Pinterest accounts for bloggers? Feel free to share them in the comments or contact me on social media. I’d love to hear about them.

Until next time,

MsWalton

I’m Thankful For It All

Nov
28

The Recovering Pessimist: I'm Thankful For It All -- This has been one hell of a year (good, bad, ugly, etc.). I'm thankful for everything I've experienced (and continue to experience) this year. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimistThis has been one hell of  a year.

There were more ups than downs.

The lessons I learned were painful.

I’m thankful for it all.

My spirit was tested.

My heart ached.

I let people go to let others in.

I’m thankful for it all.

I cried when I couldn’t handle anymore.

Laughed to keep my nerves at bay.

Screamed through the frustration.

I’m thankful for it all.

Each day was a new opportunity.

Tried to be not so hard on myself.

I made the best of it.

I’m thankful for it all.

 

3 Thoughts While Watching #90DayFiance

Nov
21

The Recovering Pessimist: A Few Thoughts While Watching #90DayFiance -- While watching #90DayFiance I wondered if those who seek love abroad do so thinking that they won't have the issues that they have while dating in the States. The same issues come with love, regardless of where you are. | www.therecoveringpessimist.me #amwriting #recoveringpessimist #optimisticpessimist

 

One of my guilty pleasures is watching “90 Day Fiance” on TLC“. It’s a show about men and women in the U.S. who go through the process of obtaining a K-1 Visa, which gives them 90 days to marry their boyfriends/girlfriends who live overseas. Some of the couples are genuine, while others are marrying for reasons other than love. Which reminds of this quote:

Love is a beautiful delusion, regardless of where you live in the world. Click To Tweet

The participants on “90 Day Fiance” have the same issues as those of us who are stateside. These issues are the inspiration for this blog post. I want to discuss some of the issues that stuck out to me below. Enjoy!

Respect their culture

If you’re in a relationship with someone from another cultural background, take the initiative to learn about their culture. If you want to get to know him/her, learning their culture is a part of that. The internet is full of information. Use it and prosper.

A lie is a lie is a LIE

If you catch him/her in a lie, question it. Don’t twist their words to make yourself feel better. Don’t make excuses for them. And while you may want to know the truth, know this:

Once someone lies to you, everything they tell you will feel like a lie, including the truth itself. Click To Tweet

If you find yourself wondering if what they’re telling you is the truth, what’s the point in continuing the relationship?

If everyone else can see it, perhaps you need to see it too

This might be hard to believe, but everyone isn’t posted up in the corner rooting for you to fail. There are people who not only care about you, but they also want the best for you. Sometimes, what they want for you may not be what you want to hear. Past experiences have taught me to listen when these people speak.

 

And they say you can’t learn anything from reality television…

Until next time,

MsWalton

 

 

 

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