Making an assumption is like having soiled toilet paper stuck to your shoe and walking out in public.
Embarrassing right?
If you aren’t 100% sure, just ask. Unless you don’t mind having toilet paper on your shoe.
Helping pessimists see the bright side of life without losing their "half empty" roots.
Making an assumption is like having soiled toilet paper stuck to your shoe and walking out in public.
Embarrassing right?
If you aren’t 100% sure, just ask. Unless you don’t mind having toilet paper on your shoe.
I’ve always been somewhat of an outsider. Attempts to penetrate the popularity bubble in middle & high school were futile. After much disappointment, I realized that my friends and I were pretty friggin awesome ourselves.
Fast forward to adulthood. I’ve come to the realization that women in workplace cliques are the absolute worst. The “sharing is caring” motto doesn’t apply here.
I don’t need to be validated by a bunch of phony wenches who smile in my face while plotting my social demise. I left the reindeer games of high school a decade plus ago.
Screw the kool kids.
I loathe whiners (of sound mind). Exceptions would be children under eight years of age. Whining sounds like nails on chalkboard. My eye twitches and I become saddened that throat-chopping is considered assault.
On Kevin Hart’s comedy special “Laugh At My Pain”, he talks about his Uncle Reggie Jr., who was recently released from a 15 hear stint in prison. Uncle Reggie Jr. is aggressively inappropriate and his reaction to Kevin’s whining is hilarious.
Warning: The video below contains strong language that may be considered inappropriate to some.
Updated: October 26, 2016
Over the weekend, my bestie and I went to see Owen Benjamin perform at the Richmond FunnyBone.
All of the comedians were funny, but Benjamin had me laughing so hard I was in tears.
P.S. He’s also really handsome and tall. I believe he said he was 6’7″. swoon
During the piano segment of the show, Benjamin joked about songs that put you in a certain mood. When he started playing the “Peanuts” theme song, I automatically began dancing in my seat. It’s practically impossible to just sit there while one of the happiest songs on Earth is playing.
The Piano Guys performed an awesome version of the theme song below.
Enjoy!
Personal space is one of those things that’s understood and respected. While standing in line, give the person in front of you some space. Nobody wants to have someone so close to them that they can count your hair follicles.
In case you need a hint, I’ll “accidently” step back and crush your toes. Some people are truly clueless when it comes to manners. What else is new?
When life gives you lemons, make vodka lemonade.
Happy Friday!! In anticipation of a warm weather weekend, I felt like dancing.
Enjoy!!
I’m coming to terms with the fact that I am not (always) in control. It’s especially hard because I don’t care for surprises. Oh well. Fighting Fate is pointless. I see it like this: Fate has had a blueprint for my life (events, moments, etc) that’s been in the works since 1982.
What if I unknowingly deviated from the blueprint? Does Fate has some sort of…GPS-like option that re-routes (similar to the totally awesome Allstate commercial)? Seriously, how dope would it be if this really existed? Let’s analyze this. If I deviate from some aspect of my blueprint, does Fate intervene by editing the entire blueprint? Or, does Fate edit that particular aspect of the blueprint I deviated from?
Part One of the theory. I’m dating this guy. All is well between us. Neither party intended for the relationship to progress to something more serious, but we rolled with it. Fate, on the other hand, knows that this isn’t in my blueprint but edits it to include a long-term relationship with this guy.
Stand by for Part Two.
I’m dating the same guy. Things are going great. Seriously, everything is awesomesauce and then the sh!t hits the fan. Phone calls and text messages go unanswered. He unfriends me on Facebook and blocks me on Twitter. Fate was in the background, hoping we would break up on our own. When that didn’t happen, Fate put the brakes on the relationship.
Sounds far-fetched? Perhaps. There are reasons why things that WE plan never go the way WE plan them. Allow that to marinate.
Many of the things I want to accomplish require that I step outside of my comfort zone, which is overwhelming. When I ran across the video below, I feel that I got the tough love and swift kick in the ass that was needed.
Enjoy!
Those who are “less than intelligent” should be taxed for having to exist with the rest of us. I would call it a stupid tax, but someone would find that offensive insert eye roll here.